r/Damnthatsinteresting Dec 01 '22 Heart Eyes 1

Human sized Bat Video

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[removed]

10.5k Upvotes

5.3k

u/GammaGoose85 Dec 01 '22

Guess I'm starting my morning off with batdick

1.2k

u/[deleted] Dec 01 '22

[deleted]

399

u/[deleted] Dec 01 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

64

u/pdnoob1 Dec 01 '22

Saw the video first. Then i wondered hmm lets see if someone comments about this bats dick. Your comment made burst in to laughter im in fuckin tears now.

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235

u/Slapyousilly Dec 01 '22

"He's got... you know... I think it's a boy."

142

u/darealjimshady1 Dec 01 '22 Take My Energy

I don’t think you understand the gravity of this situation.

8

u/-TheArtOfTheFart- Dec 01 '22

I's say it's a hung jury but I think you'd be playing hardball if that statement was true.

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138

u/QualityIll8077 Dec 01 '22

I'm Bat Dick and I'm here to save the world

370

u/[deleted] Dec 01 '22 edited Dec 16 '22 Platinum Helpful Wholesome

[deleted]

45

u/Misfitdemonking Dec 01 '22

This is the most elite comment I ever seen. 🤣🤣🤣

34

u/SweatyTax4669 Dec 01 '22

That’s enough internet for me today.

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u/Alarmed_Commission_9 Dec 02 '22

Worth collecting my daily award to give you it.

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u/RafSarmento Dec 01 '22

I just SCREAMED

3

u/skettaywettay Dec 02 '22

🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣 give this man fuckin medal

3

u/AbleListen749 Dec 02 '22

Hahaha 🤣

3

u/GrumpyJenkins Dec 02 '22

World class reply

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26

u/zeke235 Dec 01 '22

As in Bat Detective, right?😃

Right?🙁

9

u/QualityIll8077 Dec 01 '22

Absolutely 😂

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6

u/DefenderNeverender Dec 01 '22

It can only go up - or I guess down, in this case - from here.

11

u/NemoNewbourne Dec 01 '22

Until Danny Devito lifts that special penguin flap.

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313

u/pizza-chit Dec 01 '22

na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na bat dickk

68

u/Sandwich_dad96 Dec 01 '22

I really appreciate that you actually took the time to use the appropriate amount of “na”s

33

u/TicToc6116 Dec 01 '22

Me: laughing and trying to count na’s

36

u/kindainthemiddle Dec 01 '22

Thank you kind human for bringing laughter to my day!

4

u/XLPepperoniNips Dec 01 '22

Fuck beat me to it. I’m still leaving my comment up though

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56

u/BannedinthaUSA Dec 01 '22

That's where the Luwak coffee comes from.

Best part of waking up, is dick in your cup.

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16

u/BigBobFro Dec 01 '22

Sounds like something the adam west batman would call for in an encounter with catwoman.

“Robin! Engage Bat-Dick!”

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u/KingBubzVI Dec 01 '22

Batman no!

5

u/TheLastWeird Dec 01 '22

We call him “Robin”

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6.5k

u/Able_Kaleidoscope_61 Dec 01 '22 Silver Gold Wholesome hehehehe Masterpiece Table Slap Looking Spit-take

"My eyes are down here!"

681

u/split41 Dec 01 '22

Hardest I’ve laughed all day lol. Thanks

331

u/Partysaurus_Jess Dec 01 '22

My husband from his office upstairs: “What’s so hysterical down there?”

Texted him this post and wrote “first comment”.

Husband 10 seconds later: [hysterical laughter]

137

u/DippinDot2021 Dec 01 '22

True love is when people can be dorks together. And it's beautiful.

5

u/secret_fashmonger Dec 02 '22

This is a beautiful relationship!

23

u/C_Alex_author Dec 01 '22

You actually just made my day. I cackled at you and your husband lol THANK YOU, I needed that today :)

119

u/[deleted] Dec 01 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

13

u/mburke57 Dec 01 '22

Came here for this comment.

5

u/treefrog1318 Dec 01 '22

Me too. Lol

3

u/[deleted] Dec 01 '22

Me three

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u/lysergic_Dreems Dec 01 '22

Dude I just watched this special a couple days ago and this part had me full on cackling!

8

u/Eskimo_Brothers Dec 01 '22

Mr Kinane is pure genius.

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150

u/windmill-tilting Dec 01 '22

Holy Batdong, Batman!

19

u/reeny4rigga Dec 01 '22

He's way too cute with leather wings and love his ears

5

u/sdiss98 Dec 01 '22

I’m “bat” man.

159

u/[deleted] Dec 01 '22

[deleted]

309

u/JaeTheOne Dec 01 '22

How could you NOT notice???

220

u/[deleted] Dec 01 '22

[deleted]

91

u/eszox Dec 01 '22

You were too busy gawking at his babymaker. 😭

84

u/TaterMA Dec 01 '22

Those dangling bits are just too human

61

u/trippygenx Dec 01 '22

How did I live this long without seeing bat junk? I can't look away now. Totally looks like human kibbles n bits 🧐

21

u/Jaded-Mess-5051 Dec 01 '22

I was just thinking that I had no idea until now that bat dongs looked like that. 🤣

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63

u/BannedinthaUSA Dec 01 '22

That was the FIRST thing I noticed.

16

u/Pavement-69 Dec 01 '22

To be fair, they are framed dead center. It would really difficult not to notice the beans and franks first.

8

u/HeyCarrieAnne40 Dec 01 '22

"Frank and beanssssss!"

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u/goomnaam Dec 01 '22

Howwwww i open the video and the first thing i saw was that so tell me howwwwe

25

u/Accurate_Quote_7109 Dec 01 '22

After seeing this, I now completely understand why bats flip over to pee!!😆😆😆😆😆

5

u/chaddy292 Dec 01 '22

Ain't nothing but a heartache

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6

u/Least_or_Greatest1 Dec 01 '22

He’s just happy to see you..

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727

u/whenifindthelight Dec 01 '22

I came for the comments and they did not disappoint

35

u/DimensionalHomework Dec 01 '22

You couldn't find the light but you sure did find something else

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3.3k

u/rauls4 Dec 01 '22 Helpful

I am not a biologist, but I am pretty sure that's a male.

390

u/BannedinthaUSA Dec 01 '22

I'm no pornologist, but I was pretty sure he was gonna Ron Jeremy himself there for a moment.

176

u/b_vitamin Dec 01 '22

I’m no virologist, but these folks are standing way too fucking close to a bat.

34

u/A_Snuggly_Dick Dec 01 '22

This is my favorite comment in the thread so far.

22

u/ecctt2000 Dec 01 '22

I’m no coffeeologist but that seems pretty cheap for coffee.

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147

u/invigoratingBog Dec 01 '22 Helpful

Its 2022 dont assume

50

u/Seecreeture Dec 01 '22

A trans-bat can still have a fat dick.

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413

u/Bumbleclat Dec 01 '22

I'm more tired than a big dicked bat

36

u/[deleted] Dec 01 '22

First thing I thought

12

u/AndorianDruid Dec 01 '22

That’s some folksy wisdom right there

10

u/Bumbleclat Dec 01 '22

Kyle Kinane wisdom

15

u/lazy_impala Dec 01 '22

Came here to say this

9

u/Obiwankablowme95 Dec 01 '22

Bat in the end: "Get that camera out ma fuggin face mate"

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947

u/Public_Bass3335 Dec 01 '22 Silver

Smh.....He's bigger than me

306

u/[deleted] Dec 01 '22

[deleted]

366

u/Spare-Ad-4558 Dec 01 '22 Wholesome Seal of Approval

But mine is

203

u/[deleted] Dec 01 '22

[deleted]

41

u/havokyash Dec 01 '22

Yep, that's exactly what he's doin...

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736

u/andrefishmusic Dec 01 '22

Put on some pants, dude...

176

u/[deleted] Dec 01 '22

[deleted]

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u/yahoouser4176 Dec 01 '22

Manbat you mean.

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u/Tramkrad Dec 01 '22

This needs to be tagged NSFW for the benefit of any bats scrolling through...

89

u/microsoftfool Dec 01 '22

Batman was here...left in shame.

30

u/cthaehtouched Dec 01 '22

Oh he’s still here, watching intently from the shadows.

3

u/VacaDLuffy Dec 01 '22

Oh god you just reminded me of the comic that showed of batmans shadowy dick outline

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u/Late2theGame0001 Dec 02 '22

You wish, Robin.

11

u/maxlmax Dec 01 '22

Honestly, I really don't want to be caught at work watching this

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329

u/Able_Kaleidoscope_61 Dec 01 '22 edited Dec 01 '22

The commentary is awesome...

"Look at his <awkward pause> c...laws."

".. he's got...ya know. I think it's boy!"

73

u/Castor_Deus Dec 01 '22

"... I don't know sir, but it looks like a giant-"

"Dick! Take a look outta starboard!"

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82

u/PentHouseBalance Dec 01 '22

Batman’s costume coulda been SO different

15

u/Maleficent_Tie4767 Dec 01 '22

Remember when Clooney's had nipples?

5

u/giantyetifeet Dec 01 '22

Joel Schumacher tried his best. RIP.

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u/sekfan1999 Dec 01 '22

BBC

664

u/FattyRR Dec 01 '22 Silver

Big Bat Cock

114

u/Altiverses Dec 01 '22

🤨📸

23

u/JasonIsBaad Expert Dec 01 '22

Dude that's not cool, he didn't give consent for that picture.

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u/tylerupandgager Dec 01 '22

He's in public. I don't need consent.

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u/[deleted] Dec 01 '22

[deleted]

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u/AntimatterCorndog Dec 01 '22

Hide yo kids, hide yo wife...

56

u/NightlessSleep Dec 01 '22

… and hide yo mangoes, cuz they buggering everything out here.

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u/u_def_Have_Aids Dec 01 '22

Apart from dicking down yo wife

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u/badger575 Dec 01 '22

And rabies. That's a major threat nobody has ever survived rabies. Someone can get a vaccine after they've been infected. However, if symptoms start to show they will 100% die.

40

u/Scrybblyr Dec 01 '22

I got bitten by a feral cat i was rescuing yesterday. They are going to observe the cat just in case. They told me that three people have survived rabies (Albeit in a vegetative state.) So be careful rescuing kittens who are scared in the middle of 14 lanes of highway with no possible chance of getting out alive on their own.

33

u/CosmicCreeperz Dec 01 '22

They should have also told you there has not been a single case of cat to human rabies transmission in over 40 years…

Reddit is strangely and obsessively terrified of rabies. I mean, sure horrible disease but from what I have read of the tiny number of total rabies deaths originating in the US (ie not visitors who brought it) they are almost all from bats - all 3 last year were.

So please keep rescuing ornery kittens :)

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u/AlpacaLocks Dec 01 '22

I think it's overblown to emphasize the importance of early treatment, especially in cases involving bats or other biting mammals

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u/chris1096 Dec 01 '22

It's also like 2.5 lbs and maybe a foot and a half long... Dunno why you had to go with a sensationalist title when the animal is cool as hell on its own.

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u/batonduberger Dec 01 '22

I thought you were going to say buggering off with your wife.

4

u/wrongdude91 Dec 01 '22

I've seen this hanging in my backyard. It's fucking huge and looks scary if see it flying in the dark.

4

u/LBBB1 Dec 01 '22

Not quite true that a flying fox poses no threat to humans. Flying foxes can spread many viruses to humans. These include Ebola, Marburg virus, Nipah virus, Hendra virus, and Lyssavirus. Any bat can spread viruses to humans. Not to mention histoplasmosis from exposure to guano. Don’t touch bats or spend time close to bats if you can avoid it.

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u/highveganfpv Dec 01 '22

Nandor? Is that you?

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u/Fubar_Commando Dec 01 '22

F*****g guy!!

19

u/cmurrey Dec 01 '22

He’s relentless! Raping and pillaging!

12

u/smackpony Dec 01 '22

Swinging his dick around like that? It's 100% Laszlo

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u/ryan_price497 Dec 01 '22

I didn’t think I’d wake up browse Reddit and see a bats penis today, but here we are.

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u/Lewd_ReadNY Dec 01 '22

I wonder if bats ever ask each other, Why are you acting so humansh*t crazy?

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u/Lazy_Computer_2077 Dec 01 '22

'You're not greedy. You're humanshit insane!'

If you get the reference, props to you

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u/Sethor Dec 01 '22

Na na na na na na na ... Bat Peen!

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u/Begravningstider Dec 01 '22

Human sized bat, human sized penis.

209

u/[deleted] Dec 01 '22

[deleted]

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u/Niskara Dec 01 '22

Dude, don't call me out like that!

41

u/LoveSikDog Dec 01 '22

You were the first one I thought of when I read it...

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u/Zestyclose-Pay-1889 Dec 01 '22

Ngl...I always thought bats had a retractable penis...

TIL that they do not. It’s just...there...hanging out for all to see.

Now I wonder if it just dangles when they fly...

24

u/coxykitten923 Dec 01 '22

Oh look Luwak coffee

6

u/BannedinthaUSA Dec 01 '22

The dispensers right there.

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u/Greenonthego Dec 01 '22

The body size is not the only human sized thing on this animal

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u/myassislazy Dec 01 '22

i wonder what happens when he gotta pee? does it come with face wash as a bonus?

70

u/talures Dec 01 '22

Do you see the hooks at the wings? He will free a foot (feet), and use the hook(s) to turn and then pee.

English is not my first language, but i hope i managed.

26

u/foggyflame Dec 01 '22

YouTube how bats pee. They rotate themselves and pee while hanging from a branch

16

u/Black_Radiation Dec 01 '22

Nice try but this is not going to end up in my search history

43

u/[deleted] Dec 01 '22

They pee downwards just like humans or during flight. Keep in mind many other species of bats aren't that clean and will spread their urine throughout their body to cool down

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u/njseahawk Dec 01 '22

And that my friends is how we got Covid 20

25

u/ashu71029 Dec 01 '22

What about Wet dreams💀

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u/sampson11911 Dec 01 '22

Today I learned that bat penises look strikingly similar to human penises

14

u/kenpublius Dec 01 '22

I thought he was about to…..oh nevermind.

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u/Spicoli007 Dec 01 '22

I wonder if it's a male or female.

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u/UnlikeUday Dec 01 '22

Isn't it a Flying Fox? They're gentle despite their intimidating appearance!

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u/vitamincp Dec 01 '22

Good Lord! That penis has a bat on it!

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u/SHREY36904 Dec 01 '22

Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masturbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this video. Now there is a whole train of men masturbating together at this one video. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW

3

u/secret_fashmonger Dec 02 '22

What’s crazy is how often this can be used on Reddit. And, I’m a sicko and find it hilarious.

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u/ashu71029 Dec 01 '22 edited Dec 01 '22

Guys should i marked this nsfw? i am going to sleep

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u/Daddydewaddy Dec 01 '22

Bruce Wayng

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u/anged16 Dec 01 '22

You sick bastards in here better not get any ideas, we’ve already had two years of bullshit because of a bat

22

u/SuburbanRafiki Dec 01 '22

the coffee thats being advertised on the chalk board behind the bat is one of the worlds most expensive coffee's because the coffee beans are ingested by a weasel i think, then excreted, giving the coffee it's unique aroma and taste.

20

u/onlyfakeproblems Dec 01 '22

The animal is a civet. Not in the weasel family, but similar shape. The coffee tastes nice, but like, so does coffee with cream and sugar.

5

u/TheNotSoGreatPumpkin Dec 01 '22

It’s not about the taste as much as it makes rich people feel more exclusive.

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u/InYourCatsFace Dec 01 '22

“I’m more tired than a big dick bat” -Kyle Kinane

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u/DontBruhMeBruh Dec 01 '22

"He's got, you know... I guess he's a boy" 🤣

18

u/chicorico55555 Dec 01 '22

Got a bigger dick than me

4

u/honkeydave Dec 01 '22

Sending this to Kyle Kinane…

5

u/plaidman42 Dec 01 '22

Took far too much scrolling to find you, fine fellow.

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u/CulturalAddress6709 Dec 01 '22

Full on Cherries and Banana on that fruit bat there.

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u/krontos5 Dec 01 '22

Lets just not even talk about it .

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u/SaltedGreenMilk1987 Interested Dec 01 '22

Looks like the bat is leaking ink on the plants below...

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u/sweetspetites Dec 01 '22

Who else couldn’t stop staring?

3

u/Maleficent_Tie4767 Dec 01 '22

I sat through that 3 times! Thought I was hallucinating!

5

u/AdLonely2890 Dec 01 '22

This is depressing, his junk is bigger than mine

5

u/Acriam Dec 01 '22

Could of went my whole life without seeing Batdick.

5

u/Remarkable-Ranger812 Dec 01 '22

He needs a pair of panties

5

u/cantcme917 Dec 01 '22

TIL bats have dicks resembling human dicks.

5

u/Ryd3rSpyder Dec 01 '22

Is it just me who looked at the dick the whole time

4

u/Sticky_Papaya Dec 02 '22

I can finally tell my wife I’m hung like a human sized bat

5

u/HighLighten Dec 02 '22

You know what they say, once you go bat you don't go back.

12

u/InhaleFarts69 Dec 01 '22

Ok, but how/why is he circumcised?

22

u/kashmir_stg Dec 01 '22

He’s Jewish????

45

u/Cubacane Dec 01 '22

He had his Bat Mitzvah

7

u/BlarpMan Dec 01 '22

Best comment I’ve ever seen on Reddit and only 7 votes

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u/temptedbyknowledge Dec 01 '22

shab-bat shalom

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u/BRLGGS Interested Dec 01 '22

that’s not human size lol

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u/Granny_Nooooo Dec 01 '22

I'm not gay or anything but I can't stop staring at that big ol' floppy bat dick

4

u/simplybigdingdong Dec 01 '22

Big dong aside, those feet are freaking me out!!

3

u/Thatguy57690 Dec 01 '22

I hate this but also fascinated

3

u/slayalldayyyy Dec 01 '22

Bro is packin god damn

5

u/Accidental___martyr Dec 02 '22

Someone put some sunglasses on that weird dick

5

u/iEnj0y Dec 02 '22

Video:Look at that

Me:that Dick

Video:oh i love those

Me: those balls?

literally entire video all i see is balls and dik hanging.

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u/YeetinOnThem Dec 01 '22

Bats need more love, his little face is so adorable

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u/Kobe_Wan_Jabroni Dec 01 '22

what has little black balls and hangs upsidedown? a bat. what has big black balls and hangs up?...this bat

8

u/Floggy-Mcflogson Dec 01 '22

Oh look 👀, a boner bat🦇

8

u/xpietoe42 Dec 01 '22

i just learned today that bats have dicks… i never really thought about it, but i guess it makes sense

3

u/Moms4Crack Dec 01 '22

A bat sporting a Louisville Sugger

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u/wolfraven004 Dec 01 '22

It's amazing how he has Hung on that wire for so Long.

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u/jamesd1100 Dec 01 '22

That’s at least THREE times normal human sized right guys!?!?! Guys???

3

u/SmittyC007 Dec 01 '22

Hey, how's it hanging?

Bout 12 to 6.

3

u/Mysterious-Post8193 Dec 02 '22

I hate to be jealous of a bat