r/NoStupidQuestions Sep 24 '22

Go pick my gf from the airport or attending friends birthday

Hello. My girlfriend and I are having a debate…..One of my better colleagues is celebrating a 25th birthday, which I would very much like to attend on the same evening that my girlfriend needs a ride from Venice airport (3 hours ride one way). She arrives at 10pm and has GoOpti available for a very reasonable price.

She says that I should pick her up, because she arrives very late and since I am her boyfriend, it should be normal.

What do you think?

88 Upvotes

287

u/LucDA1 Sep 24 '22

No one is going to give you solid advice here. By the way you've written it it sounds like your girlfriend expects you to make a 6 hour trip, which imo isnt the case. I pick my girlfriend up from the airport all the time but that's because she visits me, not because I'm in the same country. If she is visiting you, then I would pick her up, if she is just trying to use you to save some money, then 🤷‍♂️

Its up to you how important your friend's birthday is, and how you perceive your relationship with your girlfriend 🤷‍♂️

74

u/semboflorin Sep 24 '22

This. There are circumstances here that could make this decision fall one way or the other. However, I would be very hesitant based on this part:

since I am her boyfriend, it should be normal.

If she thinks that then she views you as a tool and not a separate person. Your inconvenience and the extenuating circumstance of your friend's birthday are being ignored purely for her own expectations and comfort. Red flag imo.

8

u/Project_XXVIII Sep 25 '22

See I’m more of a “good for the goose good for the gander” type of person

“Since I am her boyfriend, it should be normal”

Easily translates for OP into,

“Since You are my girlfriend, it should be normal”.

I encourage OP to use his imagination, now is the time to have all those primal thoughts come true.

-38

u/Over_Championship990 Sep 24 '22

I feel my advice is pretty solid. Go to the party and maybe get a less whiney gf.

2

u/I_AM_DEATH-INCARNATE Sep 25 '22

I'm with this guy. Sounds like she doesn't give a flying fuck about you, only what's convenient for her.

-1

u/chivaracka Sep 25 '22

Why the fuck is everyone downvoting you for the correct advice?

0

u/Over_Championship990 Sep 25 '22

Maybe they have whiney GFS too?

-1

u/chivaracka Sep 25 '22

Lol maybe!

257

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '22 edited Sep 26 '22

[deleted]

55

u/secrets3xlips Sep 24 '22

I call shotgun

32

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '22

Got room for one more? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

8

u/Owo_y_ Sep 24 '22

Dibs on the hood!

8

u/Trustnoboody Sep 24 '22

Don't forget ropes for the Girlfriend, gotta put her on the roof

10

u/Aenguru Sep 24 '22

Plot twist, he means van nuys airport.

39

u/amberallday Sep 24 '22

It does depend on where you live, and if taxi / public transport is a reasonable option - but in my opinion having your partner pick you up from the airport is a romantic fantasy & not practical in real life.

  • it’s more than twice the journey for the driver (they have to get there & back)

  • plus the stress of figuring out where to wait so that you can find them but they won’t be charged stupid amounts. Or maybe that’s just a London thing!?

  • flights get delayed, so what seems like a reasonable 9pm pickup turns into a 1am pickup

  • if they managed to book their flights then they’re old enough to organise their entire travel plans…

  • if they just assumed without agreeing in advance that you would be their personal taxi service, then that’s a bit bloomin’ cheeky!!

I’ll end with the (fairly accurate) quote from When Harry Met Sally:

  • Harry Burns: You take someone to the airport, its clearly the beginning of the relationship. Thats why I have never taken anyone to the airport at the beginning of a relationship.

  • Sally Albright: Why?

  • Harry Burns: Because eventually things move on and you dont take someone to the airport and I never wanted anyone to say to me, How come you never take me to the airport anymore?

147

u/jjvvang Sep 24 '22

To be honest, I would feel uncomfortable if my partner is driving 6 hours to just pick me up. Nice gesture but a waste of their time

-18

u/SamGropler Sep 24 '22

I drove my wife seven hours to the nearest international airport, dropped her off, then turned around and drove seven hours home again.

36

u/Blaze5643915 Sep 24 '22

If you’re saying this as an attempt at comparison for what someone should do, I’d reflect on it some more.

Your decisions and circumstances are not indicative of anyone else’s. It was a nice gesture on your part, but something like this shouldn’t be an expectation unless it has to be an expectation.

Personally, if my girlfriend needed a ride somewhere that far, I’d recommend someone else take her before me. Or get an airplane ticket. But if there was some kind of importance to the matter where she needed me to take her, then I would.

-18

u/SamGropler Sep 24 '22

One's significant other is more important than friends. That whole bros before hos line line is bullshit.

17

u/Blaze5643915 Sep 24 '22

A significant other that can’t see you as your own individual person with your own network and hobbies is less valuable than a friend that understands your value.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '22

[deleted]

1

u/Zealousideal_Long118 Sep 25 '22

He's not favoring one over the other. If they both had their birthdays or they both had to be picked up from the airport he would choose his gf. He is favoring his standing plans to attend a party over doing a favor for someone who demanded it rather than asked.

-8

u/brattychi86 Sep 24 '22

I think it's weak if you think doing for your mate makes u less of an indivisual, that's poor crap with no science or therory only what you're thinking that u just made up as fact, i bet alot of money your single.

9

u/Blaze5643915 Sep 24 '22

Bet whatever you want, your theories on my life matter not. If my partner did not respect me as an individual with my own friends, beliefs, values, ideals, hobbies, and ambitions, then they are not someone that I could dedicate my life to.

Marriage brings two people together. It doesn’t bring halves to make a whole. You’re joining two lives together for life. Two lives, each with their own path. If you can’t understand that then you aren’t ready for a relationship with someone. Loving yourself is more important than loving someone else or someone else loving you. It’s far more important to surround yourself with people that bring out the best in you.

0

u/brattychi86 Sep 25 '22

Sad you and all the single incel feel that threaten to believe this makes u not an individual, i know great love and you don't I'm just saying for me its a no brainer but i can give such giant leap of love without getting less then so to your know emotional growth but hey see u in 10 yrs see hopefully you'll find the one you would want to do these things for

0

u/Blaze5643915 Sep 25 '22

If I have to keep reading your comments, I won’t live 10 weeks. Your writing is going to give me a brain hemorrhage.

0

u/brattychi86 Sep 25 '22

U single long time no know love ..sad man

-3

u/MrAustin316 Sep 25 '22

You have NO girlfriend

1

u/brattychi86 Sep 24 '22

Man he clearly only wanted people to agree that he should go to the party, my husband has gone out his way for me and me for him... that's what real relationships due..so just expect down votes

5

u/SamGropler Sep 24 '22

On her return to Australia, my wife was in hotel quarantine for two weeks. She was allowed to leave the hotel at 4am the day after her quarantine was completed. I worked all day, finished at 4.30pm, and drove seven hours to be at the hotel to pick her up at 4am. Then drove home again.

2

u/brattychi86 Sep 25 '22

I would do the same for mines, maybe he doesn't feel the save as we do

-1

u/icu86 Sep 24 '22

Wife is not gf

0

u/SamGropler Sep 24 '22

The only difference between the two is a piece of paper.

7

u/boomer478 Sep 25 '22

I'm sure your wife would love to hear that.

4

u/SamGropler Sep 25 '22

If it didn't make her visa application a lot easier, we probably wouldn't have got married.

1

u/souleaterevans626 Sep 25 '22

That's your experience. Don't use it to paint with broad strokes about all of marriage. Some people are actually happy and in love with their other half

4

u/SamGropler Sep 25 '22

We're also happy and in love, otherwise we wouldn't be together. It's not marriage that keeps us together.

1

u/souleaterevans626 Sep 25 '22

Fair point, but marriage means a lot to some people. I don't think it's right to discount their opinion on marriage

0

u/SamGropler Sep 25 '22

Marriage means a lot to us, too.

→ More replies

1

u/funatical Sep 25 '22

Mail order bride?

1

u/SamGropler Sep 25 '22

No, I went and got her.

1

u/Carsonsutto Sep 25 '22

Good for you provide

78

u/snub-nosedmonkey Sep 24 '22

Would you expect your gf to miss her friend's birthday and pick you up? If the answer is no, then I'd probably say you should go to your friends birthday, unless you'd previously made plans to give her a lift.

17

u/turkeypooo Sep 24 '22

We need way more information.

43

u/TiltedNarwhal Sep 24 '22

Which was scheduled first & did you already commit to the party? Also, is 3 hours away the closest airport with reasonable prices? That’s a lot to expect someone to drive for a pick up. Gas and time are expensive. Longest drive I’ve done for emergency pick up at airport for my friends & SO is 2 hours 1 way and even then we were seeing if they could fly to a closer airport.

42

u/curmudgeon_andy Sep 24 '22

Part of adulting is figuring out how you're going to do each portion of travel before making travel plans, and when you make these plans, you cannot assume that you're going to get help from anyone. Like, even if you've got a friend who lives close to the airport and loves giving people rides, you can't assume that he's available on the day and time you need a ride. Even if you're married, you can't assume that your spouse will be able to drive you to or from the airport, since your spouse is also allowed to make plans.

It sounds like your girlfriend is not aware of this, and just made plans assuming that you'd be willing to drive 6 hours. But if you're landing in an airport a 3-hour drive away from where you want to go, you have to plan for that last leg, and that also means not just assuming that your boyfriend is going to be able to drive you.

You do not let your girlfriend make demands on your time like this. Go to the party and tell her to find other transportation. You're not her chauffeur.

30

u/ManyBeautiful9124 Sep 24 '22

Im flying into heathrow at 7pm and will miss the last train home (it departs at 9 and I don’t want to rush/stress getting it). Is my husband picking me up from the airport? No. We live a 3 hour drive away and that would be an utter waste of time and petrol. I am a grown woman who’s booking an airport hotel and getting the train next day. Wasn’t even a consideration that it’s his responsibility to assist with my travel needs.

9

u/McFlyWithFries Sep 24 '22

And I'd drop any plans and forgo any perceived inconveniences to drive that distance in a heartbeat for my wife (also a grown woman.) Is either situation right or wrong? In a pragmatic sense no. In personal subjective sense each can be correct depending on the relationship.

9

u/Taste_is_Sweet Sep 25 '22

That is wonderfully romantic! But it also sounds like a decision you’d make, rather than one your spouse would make for you. The OP’s gf seems to be saying it’s only reasonable he drop everything and drive six hours because that’s what bfs do

I’d never expect my spouse to come get me for six hours either; that’s just insane. But if he wanted to, that would be entirely different 😇

2

u/Shoopdawoop993 Sep 25 '22

Yeah if therr was no other option, or it was an emergency i would too. But for no other reason than poor planning or not wanting to pay for it? Honey no, ill see you at the door.

1

u/McFlyWithFries Sep 26 '22

I can't fathom saying "no, tough shit" to my life partner. These things are a given, for both of us.

2

u/Shoopdawoop993 Sep 26 '22

I cant imagine asking a life partner to drive 6 hours, making them forgo a long planned event because.... I dont want to take a taxi? I would feel incredibly bad.

64

u/crusttysack Sep 24 '22

So you need to make a 6 hour drive?? Sounds like she needs to use the ride service.

10

u/Rolldeep01 Sep 24 '22

I guess you could put it this way... In the uk 6 hours is the other side of the country, theres no way I'd be giving cross country lifts out enless special occasion/emergency.

But you do you

1

u/cupkake88 Sep 25 '22

Ikr fuck that . Americans have the same kinda view of long distance . In the UK it's common to say things like . No I'm not driving 20 miles to pick up a thing. And Americans are like pfft I do twice that every day just for coffee

10

u/Green-Dragon-14 Sep 24 '22

You say she has a reasonable GoOpti (I'm assuming that's a kinda taxi?) then let her use that. You're her boyfriend not her personal chauffeur.

Oh Parker. Yes mi lady.

7

u/jeweled_lisa Sep 24 '22

I would never ask my husband to drive 6 hours in the dead of night to pick me up, that's incredibly insensitive. If she really needs you to pick her up because she cant do a driving service for whatever reason she should get a hotel and you can pick her up in the morning.

8

u/MrDelicious84 Sep 24 '22

Tell her to get a hotel and grab her in the morning

32

u/DrHugh Sep 24 '22

Normal is arriving in your own town. I'm in the US midwest, and driving three hours one way is still a big trip.

If she were landing in town, and you could skip out from the party early to go pick her up? Of course. But she's suggesting you drive three hours to pick her up at 10 PM, which means another three hours to get back home. This isn't even safe to do.

One of two things would be better. She should get a connecting flight to your local airport, so you can quickly pick her up. Or, she should get a local hotel room, and you can pick her up in the morning.

8

u/bkornblith Sep 24 '22

If my partner asked me to do this and had no interest in my needs…. They wouldn’t be my partner. I make the the hour or so trip to the airport to pick up my girlfriend all the time if she’s gone on a girl’s trip etc… but she would never expect me to drive out of the city 3 hours away if there was an easy bus etc. Your girlfriend doesn’t appear to value your time or your needs. Don’t pick her up and if she gets angry about it, you’ve learned something.

6

u/R0zlyn Sep 24 '22

So many questions here. How long have you known she will be arriving? I assume you knew you'd be attending your friends bday long before that, since it's same date every year. So if she already knew you made plans and is springing this on you last minute, that's kinda selfish. If you knew for a while, long enough to plan ahead, then I'd be pretty annoyed that you choose to get wasted with buddies instead of collecting me from the airport while giving me some questionable alternative if I was the gf. What is her reason for not wanting to use the other option? Is it only money or is it safety concern too? Or perhaps she just thinks this is what boyfriends do. I don't know your financial situations, but if it was me and I really wanted to go to the party, I'd make as much effort as I can to still show that I care about her and don't want her to feel abandoned, maybe pay a private driver, make sure she's as safe as possible. If she's the one visiting you, then you have to pick her up no question. She's already making the effort, time and paying to travel long distance in order to see you, so if you choose your buddies over it that's kinda shitty. But if she's returning from somewhere, then I do think it's her responsibility to sort out transport and you should be able to make your own plans. I'm torn, only you guys know what's right for the two of you, it's hard to give advice when there's so much information missing. If i was the gf, I wouldn't want him to drive a long way and miss out on fun, this could also result in resentment, planning ahead and communicating is important, but if it's a situation where I'm visiting him from far away and he can't even be bothered to pick me up, well that's a clear indication I'm not important to him.

4

u/152sims Sep 24 '22

people dont always have birthday parties on their actual birthday

2

u/R0zlyn Sep 24 '22

But it's always around that time, usually same week

6

u/Chattypath747 Sep 24 '22

Is it possible for her to board in a hotel around the airport while you attend your friends birthday party?

6 hours is a lot of time during the day.

5

u/IanDOsmond Sep 25 '22

I don't think it's reasonable to expect someone to drive much more than an hour total, that is, much more than half an hour there and half an hour back, to pick someone up at the airport, unless it's a very unusual situation. And "I am her boyfriend" isn't one of those. I would think that "I am her boyfriend" WOULD count for that "under an hour" thing, but it doesn't rise all the way to "drive six hours".

4

u/Asatsuki Sep 24 '22

go to your friends party. you don't want to pick her up at the airport, so if you do then it will just breed resentment in your heart, which will damage the relationship in the near future.

6 hours is a long time to sit in silence slowly building up that resentment

5

u/0-768457 Sep 24 '22

She wants you to make a six hour round trip? I would say you can maybe offer to pay for her ride if you wanna be nice, but with gas prices, you’re going to paying a lot of money for the opportunity to spend six hours on the road missing your friend’s party

4

u/BubbleDncr Sep 25 '22

It is not reasonable to expect your SO to drive 6 hours round trip if there is a reasonably affordable way for them to get home from the airport on their own.

If it’s not affordable, they should have discussed it with you prior to making their travel plans. It’s not something that should just be expected. That’s like her just expecting you to pay for her flight because you’re her bf.

11

u/yoeman Sep 24 '22

if you want to her to continue to be your gf, then you pick her up.

17

u/curmudgeon_andy Sep 24 '22

This is true. But that leads to the question: "Do you want to have a girlfriend who expects you to cancel any and all plans you might make for yourself at any time just so that you can be her driver?" I would not date anyone who disrespects me like that.

7

u/Worth_Background_191 Sep 24 '22

If If have been away and my boyfriend wanted to spend time with his buddies instead of me, he has told me what he values.

Ex-boyfriend, I am now single. Getting a hotel for the night and partying here instead

3

u/ceedubs19 Sep 25 '22

A healthy relationship wouldn't depend on the answer to this question. It's called compromise. A grown woman who can make her own travel plans can also book a hotel and ask for a ride the next day.

0

u/yoeman Sep 25 '22

hahaha, i have had plenty of gfs, i am now married. if you are dealing with women, the best thing you can do is pick her up. a grown woman, single, would make her own arrangements. a woman who is not single will expect her bf to pick her up. if you dont pick her up, then you are telling her that she is not important enough and she is going to find someone who appreciates her and wants to be with her. its up to you to decide if she is a keeper or just a pit stop. happy life is happy wife. she will remember you leaving her to be with your friends. if you dont care hang with your friends. while she is hanging at the hotel she will meet someone else. lol..

21

u/JumboJetz Sep 24 '22

Is she worried about sexual assault? Maybe a woman driver can be arranged if she worries about being in a cab with a man? Aside from money that’s the only other reason I can imagine she wants you to come.

3

u/siltstriding Sep 24 '22

Who on gods earth can afford a 3 hour cab? There’s gotta be a FlixBus

25

u/SnooPets7323 Sep 24 '22

From an old man here. Go pick your girlfriend up, if anything happens to her you will find it very difficult to live with your choice of partying. Just saying.

8

u/Very_Bad_Janet Sep 24 '22

Yes, this, or at the very least arrange a safe pick up for her.

5

u/8OnAGoodDay7IfNot Sep 24 '22

She should have arranged something as she planned the trip, but you're right. OP would have a hard time forgiving themself if something happened to her. I just finished watching the new Dahmer show with Evan Peters though so I'm a little paranoid at the moment.

-6

u/Worth_Background_191 Sep 24 '22

Thank you. If I had a boyfriend and this was even a debate, he would be replaced with someone who actually wants me in his life

12

u/secret3332 Sep 24 '22

The airport is a 3 hour ride from OP one way. 6 hours of driving just because they don't want to take a cab or public transportation? I wouldn't expect anyone to do this for me.

-4

u/Worth_Background_191 Sep 25 '22

And then guys wonder why she moves on?

No passion. No devotion. But, he will probably blame her when she finds a guy that appreciates her

1

u/lexarexasaurus Sep 25 '22

Yikes!!! My husband shows me passion and devotion but this is just unreasonable. The actual key to a happy and successful relationship is wanting the other person to be happy as much as you want to be happy and being good with the independence and respect that comes from that. Your take sounds like some weird alpha mindset

1

u/DonnerPedro Sep 24 '22

Why dont you have a boyfriend?

-3

u/Worth_Background_191 Sep 25 '22

Why would I have one?

A guy has to make my life better than it is single. Thus far, my best times and best years were when I didn't have a man claiming ownership. The worse were when I was in a bad relationship. Very hard to get out

2

u/DonnerPedro Sep 25 '22

Well whatever. I checked your profile just out of curiosity, i really like your paintings!

2

u/Worth_Background_191 Sep 25 '22

Thank you.

Just for that, I will post another one

18

u/Aboleth123 Sep 24 '22

GF airport,
Chill with your friend earlier in the day if you want.

But i guess it also depends on if the party was planned, and your gf was aware of it, prior to booking her flight.

-9

u/Greatest_Turtler Sep 24 '22

One’s girlfriend shouldn’t be required to plan around one’s friend’s birthday.

7

u/OhPiggyWiggy Sep 24 '22

One shouldn’t be required to chauffeur one’s girlfriend when one already has plans

3

u/_SenSatioNal Sep 24 '22

Tell shawty get an Uber

3

u/ThunderGunFour Sep 24 '22

Girlfriend can call an Uber

3

u/AliBabble Sep 25 '22

Ridiculous. Is she a child? 6 hours for a pick up is not necessary and she is being unreasonable. I think that says it all.

10

u/DickySchmidt33 Sep 24 '22

It depends on the nature of your relationship. If you are serious and your girlfriend is asking you to do this for her because she doesn't feel comfortable taking such a long trip with a stranger, I think you should do it.

Unless, of course, you're not really all that committed to her. In which case, you two should have a completely different conversation.

10

u/PersonneAsked Sep 24 '22

If you had committed to the party first, you tell your gf that you are sorry, but you already had plans.

The reverse is true if you committed to the airport first.

A relationship is not a live in taxi, so there should be no expectation for a pickup unless you were asked and agreed to come get her. 3 hours is a tall order unless there are some special circumstances.

3

u/WoodSteelStone Sep 25 '22

And the three hours is just the driving one way. He'd have to allow longer in case of traffic, plus time to park up and find where to go for arrivals, allow time to wait, carry luggage back then three hours driving back again. More if they don't live together so it's a drop off then head on home. This could be eight hours plus all in.

20

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '22 edited 27d ago

[deleted]

-12

u/Shoopdawoop993 Sep 24 '22

Have you ever been in long term relationship?

12

u/Voliaite Sep 24 '22

Not sure if being condescending is the move, considering that OP is asking something like this on Reddit and the top comment is "I'll pick her up" lmao.

6

u/throwokcjerks Sep 24 '22

Well, as others have pointed put, there's other factors to consider. Is she visiting you, or do you kive together? Did you promise to pick her up before knowing about the party?

Regarding the safety factor, ask your girlfriend if it's ol to book her a hotel close to the airport and either you pick her up the following day, or she takes a train/bus and you get her from the station. I think, if I were in this situation as the gf, this would be acceptable. If you want to make her happier about it, find a hotel with a sauna to relax after the flight.

There's all kinds of ways to work around the problems. Talk to your girlfriend and instead of debating, work it like a problem you solve together.

5

u/iliveoffofbagels Sep 24 '22

I'm more curious about how 1 month ago you had a BF. Now you have a GF. Assuming they didn't just transition and you aren't polyamorous, this is a GF you allegedly had for just a few days. Why would you drive 3 hours for a stranger?

Anyway... An airport 3 hours away sounds ridiculous to me (i'm spoiled and can't even go an hour before driving by a major airport), but I would pick her up. I rather have her safe with me rather than relying on a stranger. And probably have an adult conversation on how to efficiently plan travel. At some point the miniscule money savings are not worth the wasted time. (but again... i'm suspicious of this story

3

u/Smooth_Inspection162 Sep 24 '22

I think you are refering to my previously asked question here on reddit…..we posted this question together to see other’s people’s opinion on the topic. It’s my gfs account….

4

u/Premium_Shock Sep 24 '22

You know she will see this then right?

1

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '22

Account sharing in general seems questionable.

11

u/NickDixon37 Sep 24 '22

She's supposed to tell you that she can do GoOpti.

And then you're supposed to pick her up anyway!

9

u/CutDiscombobulated95 Sep 24 '22

Depends are you trying to leave your girlfriend and fuck your friend>? if so leave the GF in Venice hit the party player.

2

u/ztimulating Sep 24 '22

Have your birthday buddy SYD

2

u/ConsiderationHot9518 Sep 24 '22

Just comes down to who’s feelings are you more comfortable hurting?

That’s a huge expenditure for a cab. You could pick her up and get a hotel room for the evening to “celebrate” her coming home.

On the other hand, you can go to your friend’s birthday party and probably miss out on “celebrating” with her for quite a while.

2

u/PM_CACTUS_PICS Sep 24 '22

Can’t she get a bus/train? 6 hours is a lot of driving in one day

2

u/Commercial_Tough160 Sep 25 '22

This is a needy demand from an immature girl who needs emotional reassurance that you care about her……

On the other hand, you’re far more likely to score the next morning if you cave into her request rather than hang out with friends.

I know what I’d do.

2

u/kvng_st Sep 25 '22

The right answer? To do whatever was planned first.

But regardless, if you choose the party, you'll most likely never hear the end of it from your girlfriend. I would recommend picking her up, unless she understands that 6 hours is a lot of driving lol.

2

u/mmohaje Sep 25 '22

This is actually a hard one.

3 hour ride one way, means you would be driving 6 hours to get her. Putting your friend's bday aside that's a very big ask and I don't actually think I'd expect a boyfriend or a husband to do that. I suppose if that were the reason you noted (hey sweetheart, it's going to be 6 hours round trip for me to get you, it may be more efficient for you to get a GoOpti...rather than 'I want to go to my friend's bday she may receive it better).

All of that being said she's arriving at 10pm. I'm not sure what GoOpti is but I could understand if, as a female, she doesn't want to be on a public shuttle or private transfer on her own.

If the only reason you don't want to go is your friend's bday and she will be riding for 3 hours on her own at 10pm, I think you should go pick her up. If it was during the day, I think it would be totally reasonable for her to get there on her own.

2

u/DeeDee_Z Sep 25 '22

One scenario: hang out with friend, ignore girlfriend. Lose girlfriend. Now, you've got all the time in the world to hang out with colleagues.

Problem solved -- for next time!

Decide for yourself how likely that matches your scenario here.

4

u/RukushaRum Sep 24 '22

As much as you want to go to the party. You will never hear the end of it if you do.

Only caveat is if the party was scheduled first. If it was then tough tits to the GF if I was deciding what to do. She knew I wouldn't be available on that night and should have planned accordingly

5

u/SilentJoe1986 Sep 24 '22 edited Sep 24 '22

Sounds like she can buy her ass a bus ticket to a closer location instead of making you drive six hours. I know I wouldn't do that to somebody that I care for. I would do everything i can to make it easier on them. Especially when they have a friends birthday party to attend.

2

u/S_204 Sep 24 '22

She's.... she's kinda abusing you here dude. It's not cool of her to manipulate you into doing something that you don't want to do like this.

Your call what you do here but I hope this isn't a pattern in your relationship.

4

u/Shoopdawoop993 Sep 24 '22 edited Sep 24 '22

Taxis exist. Get her one if its worth the $150 to see the friend. Beyond that, if shes really a good gf shed want you to enjoy a once in a lifetime event eith your friend over burning 6 hours for nothing. Promise her youll take her out to dinner when she gets home. Definitely be home to greet her at the door.

Idk what the other commenters are smoking, but compromises like this are what keep a relationship working. Youre not there to be her slave, shes not there to serve you. Figure out a win win.

6

u/juloath Sep 24 '22

I'm afraid that a 3h trip in a taxi in Italy would cost way more than 150 bucks

1

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '22

I assumed it was Venice in Los Angeles 😂

3

u/juloath Sep 24 '22

Lol I didn't even considered it! Pls OP tell us if you're based in Italy or US

4

u/juloath Sep 24 '22

I see that OP is active in a Slovenia subreddit, I guess it's Venice in Italy!

7

u/curmudgeon_andy Sep 24 '22

Why should OP pay for the GF's failure to plan?

0

u/Worth_Background_191 Sep 24 '22

Why should she be a girlfriend if he prioritizes a party over seeing her after she has been away? A guy like this is not ready to be a partner. I would replace him with a man that actually wants a girlfriend

7

u/curmudgeon_andy Sep 24 '22

I would say that a girl who expects her boyfriend to drop anything at any time to drive her around, or who assumes that he can be a major part of her travel plans without even asking him, is not ready to be a girlfriend.

0

u/Worth_Background_191 Sep 24 '22

At the time I read it, he did not say if the girlfriend made these plans with him before the travel.

He doesn't miss her enough to be there when she arrives, he doesn't have passion for her. The relationship is over, she may realize it when he goes to the party.

Don't make a priority of anyone that makes you an option

3

u/GayBear2060R Sep 24 '22

Homie pick up your gf or you gonna lose your gf 🤣

1

u/daftvaderV2 Sep 24 '22

If you don't take the girlfriend, you won't have the girlfriend

1

u/Friendly-Elevator862 Sep 24 '22

If they tables were turned I think you’d expect her to come pick you up rather than going to a party, but I’m not in your relationship so what do I know

1

u/ShoobeeDoowapBaoh Sep 24 '22

Yea dont take her, see how that goes

-6

u/am_i_your Sep 24 '22

Is your gf a strong independent woman at all other times or is she your little girl you are raising?

-6

u/ImpossibleGore Sep 24 '22

Bros before hoes lol

0

u/curiousvegetables Sep 24 '22

She's being ridiculous, and should take transport.

However: Sounds like she wants you to love her enough to pick her up. She's got ideas about how love is expressed, and apparently 6hr round trips are one of them. Is this party more important than your love? Cos that's gonna be the argument you face.

Go prove you love her and missed her. Take flowers.

1

u/Over_Championship990 Sep 24 '22

Nope. Your gf can get home by two options. You or a taxi. Your friend will only have one birthday. Maths itself.

1

u/pastel-mattel Sep 24 '22

Can’t you do both?

1

u/isthebuffetopenyet Sep 24 '22

I'd collect my parents from an airport 3 hours away, but your GF is asking too much. Probably okay in normal circumstances but moreso if she expects you to miss your best friends Bday.

1

u/Silencer271 Sep 24 '22

umm GF first duh if you want to keep up I mean come on.

1

u/Ok-Violinist2324 Sep 24 '22

I would pick her up tbh

1

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '22

[deleted]

1

u/Dryprovocateur Sep 25 '22

The easy way would be to get ur girlfriend and bring her to ur friends birthday, or at least pick her up and give her ur car so she can drop you off and proceed to her destination…she may even be willing to pick you up or send you a “GoOpti”. Either way I feel like ur girlfriends safety should come first.

1

u/SamGropler Sep 24 '22

Go pick your girl up from the airport.

1

u/usernameaIradytaken Sep 24 '22

Bros before hoes

1

u/Brutelly-Honest Sep 24 '22

What'd you choose? I'm curious.

1

u/thickhipstightlips Sep 24 '22

Would it be more cost effective for her to take a taxi/shuttle/uber/whatever or for you to drive 6 hours ? If something happens to your vehicle while traveling your both SOL.

Can she get any closer and you can meet half way ? That would be more reasonable.

Does she feel safe enough to call a ride share ?

There are lots of things to take into account.

Granted, if you already RSVPd to your friends birthday, you should attend that.

1

u/Captainfunzis Sep 24 '22

This isnt a question for reddit pick her up and dont get in to a fight or go to the party and itll probably be a fight what more important your girl or your bros i know if they real bros they will understand

1

u/Eh-Eh-Ronn Sep 24 '22

There bound to be a long-distance taxi rate. Pay for that, don’t drink too much, and you can see her after the party.

1

u/leephelipe Sep 25 '22

speedrun it! pick up your girl and go hangout with ya homies, bro tip: use magnets for faster driving, shift into r for "race" and you'll be good!

1

u/Lumber_Dan Sep 25 '22

Weigh it up.

How does it affect the other party? Clearly it's going to upset your GF if you don't pick her up. It may also upset your colleague a little if you're not at their birthday.

Which would you prefer to do? You don't fancy driving 6 hours if there's another option on the table. You also actually want to attend the birthday party.

How does it affect you on the day? Your GF will likely be piiiiissed. Your colleague may be disappointed, but if it's a party there will be many other attendees and you'll just be another face in the crowd.

How does it affect you long term? Will you regret not attending the birthday party? Will your GF keep bringing up the time "you left her stranded at the airport"?

At the end of the day no one else can make this decision for you. But let us know what you decided to do!

1

u/Fallout007 Sep 25 '22

Depends what stage of relationship . If you are still wooing her or want to marry her, definitely go pick her up. It’s a show of commitment. It will show you are the real deal. Maybe plan to rent a hotel nearby if it’s late and tired.

1

u/omghorussaveusall Sep 25 '22

pay for her ride and say, "I'm still picking you up, just not driving to pick you up."

1

u/IndependentSea9154 Sep 25 '22

set your stall out by saying no, if she dont like it she can walk

1

u/m0t0g0th Sep 25 '22

Are you sleeping with your colleague? That is literally the only reason your girlfriend will think you've chosen the colleague over her.

1

u/digi7altrauma Sep 25 '22

I have a feeling we will see you in relationshipadvice, and/or r/amitheasshole the day after you choose either one.

1

u/Sea_Swordfish4430 Sep 25 '22

Offer to have her picked up by a taxi uber etc. If she makes fuss, dump her

1

u/Doom_Banger Sep 25 '22

Would it be possible if she got a hotel for that night, you drive in the morning, spend a nice/romantic afternoon in Venice (get lunch, sight-see, shop, whatever) and then drive back?

1

u/Potential_Routine165 Sep 25 '22 edited Sep 25 '22

Can your gf rent a car and drive herself? If so, help her book a rental and help her get an uber from the airport to the rental place, make sure it's open late and that the rental place that has a lot of locations so you can return the car nearby where you live.

Option 2!! You can book her a hotel room near the airport, let her sleep while you party (since she gets there at 10pm or later if there are delays) and pick her up the next day. Checkout times are generally 11am, she can go and get something nice for breakfast and shop in the area while you're driving to get her, so you have more time to sleep/take a nap before getting her. Or, at least arrange for some other way for her to get home in the morning after staying in a hotel. My family has done this, ain't no one driving a 6 hour round trip that late.

1

u/SeraphKrom Sep 25 '22

Get her to stay in a hotel, pick her up in the morning. Driving for 6 hours that late is dangerous anyway

1

u/takkun169 Sep 25 '22

Girlfriend

1

u/military_grade_tea Sep 25 '22

A 6 hour round trip! No. That would take me from one end of the country to another. That's travelling to make your gfs travelling easier... without all the fun of travelling. Even if you had nothing on... thats too much of an unreasonable ask imo.

1

u/Didu93 Sep 25 '22

Well, technically you should choose your girlfriend, however there are other things as well. Put it in a different scenario. Your gf needs help in the house due to something being broken and at that moment you are playing an online video game in a match. What will you do?

1

u/Separate-Chipmunk-11 Sep 25 '22

How did she get to the airport to begin with?

My closest airport is hour and half away. I wouldn’t expect my husband to take me or pick me up but if he took me then he better come pick me up because there’s no other way home. 😆

-4

u/ToddHaberdasher Sep 24 '22

I doubt anyone would notice your absence at the birthday. But she will definitely notice.

Hoe would it feel to never have sex again for such a pointless reason?

-4

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '22 edited Sep 24 '22

[deleted]

4

u/Smooth_Inspection162 Sep 24 '22

Relax dude. First of all, we asked this questions together on reddit, cause we wanted to see other people’s opinions on the topic. And for the record, it’s her reddit account. Thanks for your extensive reply tho….

3

u/Swanlafitte Sep 25 '22

Why that airport? I would have hashed this out before the travel was decided. It could be about saving $100 or you drive 6 hours. The party isn't even part of it. If you had said you would drive and are backing out for the party that is on you.

1

u/Worth_Background_191 Sep 24 '22

You gave excellent advice. It is the advice I would want a friend to give any man that I date. But, if a guy is going to be my boyfriend, this kind of situation would not occur. If he's not excited to see me, the relationship has already ended

-1

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '22

[deleted]

3

u/MrDelicious84 Sep 24 '22

This is the attitude that gets so many dudes walked all over

0

u/jimjamuk73 Sep 24 '22

If she's a 8+ go pick her up

0

u/0kb00 Sep 24 '22

Gf airport