r/TwoXChromosomes Mar 06 '20 Silver Platinum Helpful Wholesome Hugz Coin Gift Helpful (Pro)

[MINI FAQ] Do I have to be a woman to participate here? What about the subreddit name? What about trans women? What are the rules, anyway?

1.7k Upvotes

Do I have to be a woman to participate in this community?

No. Any user who can follow the rules is welcome here. Women, men, nonbinary, agender, genderqueer, cis folks and trans folks, everybody. If you're not on board with that, you can fuck right off.

But what about the subreddit name?

Read this post from when 2XC was only a month old. We haven't changed our stance since then, and never will.

What about trans women?

Trans women are women. TERFS can fuck right off.

What are the rules, anyway?

TL;DR: Keep it civil, keep it relevant. Don't start shit, won't be shit.

You can find the rules in the sidebar (community info for mobile users), or here's a direct link: 2XC Rules

Most moderator actions are the result of users breaking Rule 1: RESPECT. If you keep Wheaton's Law* in mind and participate in good faith, you'll probably never hear from the mod team.

  

*Wheaton's Law: Don't be a dick.


For more in-depth interpretations of the rules above, see the 2XC FAQ and 2XC Moderation Policy.


r/TwoXChromosomes 10h ago Silver Gold Helpful Wholesome Bravo Grande!

I never got any attention from dudes in high school and not once did I think: “hm, perhaps men shouldn’t have rights 🧐”.

6.0k Upvotes

Isn’t it weird how men are more likely to go down extremely misogynistic/violent routes simply cause they aren’t able to get a girlfriend?

Up until high school, I was pretty much a nobody. I’ve liked so many guys but they never liked me back. They either ignored me, bullied me or just saw me as a friend. Some would even have a crush on my friends, but it was never me. My friends would get attention from the guys that I liked. Not to mention the fact that my friends would always talk about some guy they were flirting with while for me, there was never really anything going on since no one was interested.

It did make me insecure and sad sometimes. But the thing is…. I never felt like anybody owed me anything. I didn’t become some raging incel who thought the world owed her sex and relationships. I didn’t make my lack of success with guys seem as if this was some sort of a societal issue that HAD to be solved. I never thought of going on some sort of a forum where other gals were in the same boat, and started conspiring into a group of people who think that guys don’t deserve rights because of whatever reason.

Yet somehow, incel forums, alpha male podcasters and all kinds of other means of pure misogyny seem to be a common route for guys to take whenever things don’t seem to go well with getting a relationship. (Or any other strange reason, really.)

What makes it even worse is how people, mainly men, try to coddle these men by saying “if women could just give the nice guys a chance…. 😔”. What? We don’t owe you anything, and if the only reason why you’re being nice or why you’re treating women with respect is because you’re trying to get laid, then you’re not actually a good person…???

How do people not see how irrational this shit actually is?


r/TwoXChromosomes 12h ago Silver

/r/all Should I stop saying this?

9.1k Upvotes

Yesterday I went to a book store that I absolutely LOVE going to. It’s women owned and very much LGBTQ+ friendly and highly supports feminism.

I would consider myself to be a feminist.

So, I went in there around 6pm and just asked them “hey when do you guys close” since I wanted to get a book and wasn’t sure if they closed at 6 or 7.

One of the lady’s who worked there just stared at me and was like “excuse me? You guys?” And I was like “yeah when do you close.” At that point I kind of understood what I said but didn’t entirely see the issue until the worker told me “we are not guys.” I just apologized quickly and then looked for a book I wanted.

I felt bad but I have always considered the phrase “you guys” to be just a phrase. Should I not say that or? I feel really weird about it now because I say that all the time because I’ve never thought much about it at all.


r/TwoXChromosomes 7h ago

Married acquaintance slid into my DMs, need a good response to shut him down

554 Upvotes

Damn, I really thought he was one of "the good ones," too.

Married acquaintance from high school (we're mid 40s) who seemed to really adore his wife recently messaged me on IG about my photography and while very complimentary, it seemed innocent enough.

Cue to late last night, he asked where I'm going next to shoot. Sent shrug emoji and said he'd have to stay tuned. He replied, "Don't I have special access?" Ughhhh, subtle enough to maybe be nothing, but I've been down this road with men enough times.

So, anyone have a good response to shut it down IMMEDIATELY? I'm so grossed out.

EDIT: UPDATE: So I actually looked at his IG profile (which I never have before) and it looks like he and his wife have VERY recently split up. The last pics of her are from end of Sept and his bio says "father, brother..." but not husband. So, better, but still icking me the fuck out.


r/TwoXChromosomes 5h ago

If celebrities like Gordon Ramsey were women people would have different opinions of them

274 Upvotes

Everytime I watch someone like Gordon I can't help but wonder if the public perception of someone that loud, rude and obnoxious would be different if the genders were swapped. I scroll through the comments of most of his kitchen nightmare episodes and even in situations when he's obviously being overly aggressive people are cheering for him and quoting him and praising his attitude. I think if a public female figure acted the same way, she'd be labelled as rude, overbearing, a karen or a diva. I was wondering if you agreed with that or if I'm just making baseless assumptions. I'd love to know your thoughts.


r/TwoXChromosomes 6h ago

What say ye?

330 Upvotes

I went on a date with a guy 2 nights ago and I got way too drunk (never drank a Manhattan before - duh) - it was our second date. I asked him to take me home because I didn't want to drink and drive. As he was leaving he said: "I'm proud of myself for not taking advantage of this situation." OK, wtf is up with that??? I told my male friend about it and he said that he can understand thinking it in your own head, but not saying it out loud. I'm sorry, but I can't understand why anyone would even THINK such a thing! PROUD of yourself for not taking advantage of someone who is defenseless? Seriously? What do you all think about that?


r/TwoXChromosomes 4h ago

Gynecologist Inserting IUD Promises Woman It Will Be Just A Quick Pinch And Then She’ll Be On The Floor Unconscious

Thumbnail theonion.com
205 Upvotes

r/TwoXChromosomes 21h ago Silver Gold Helpful

Single Ladies: Do Not Rely on your Coupled-Up Friends to Look Out for You

3.1k Upvotes

This is my annual cautionary tale to single ladies during the holidays: do not rely on your friends who are in couples to look out for you. It doesn't matter how long you've known them. The only person you can rely on is yourself.

Four years ago I attended a wedding of two close friends in Philadelphia. During the reception, someone stole my phone thinking it belonged to the bride. I knew my phone was missing, but I was with friends, staying in an AirBNB with 9 other people, so I figured I could catch a ride with one of them to get back to the AirBNB.

Wrong.

The reception hall closed around 10pm, so a bunch of people (including most of my AirBNB housemates) took Ubers to a local bar. We were having a great time until about 2am. Someone in the group said it was time to leave, so I told my housemates that I would go pay my bar tab and be right back. By the time I paid my bar tab and got back to the group, they had already gotten in their Ubers and left. At this point, I was in a city I'd never been to before, without a phone, in the middle of the night, alone. I stayed at the bar for awhile thinking SURELY one of the NINE people I was sharing a house with would notice I wasn't there.

Only one person noticed I wasn't there. She also happened to be the only other person in the house who didn't bring a plus one.

She brought up fact that I hadn't come back to some of the other people in the house who insisted I must have gone home with some guy from the wedding. So not only did these people, people I had known for over five years at that point, not notice I wasn't there, but when it was pointed out to them, they literally didn't care. Why didn't they care? Because they were too focused on their dates. It is worth mentioning that everyone in this group was in their late 20s/early 30s. These are not college kids drunk at a bar. These are reliable professionals. Until they aren't.

These people knew I didn't have my phone. They knew I was in an unfamiliar city. And they abandoned me. After eventually getting booted from the bar around 2:15/2:30am when it finally closed, I wandered the streets of Fishtown by myself, inebriated, with no idea where I was or how to get back to my AirBNB, wearing a party dress and flip-flops, until 4:30am. I was terrified. I walked until I recognized my car, then banged on the door of my AirBNB sobbing until the ONE person who knew I was in trouble found me. Everyone else had gone to sleep.

No one called the cops. No one went to look for me. Prior to this event, I would have trusted these people with my life. Now, I only trust one of them, and I have mostly cut contact with the other 8.

Do not trust your friends in couples to look out for you this holiday season. You cannot rely on them.

ETA: People keep replying that I should have had the bar call a taxi. Call a taxi to take me where? I didn’t have the address of the Airbnb memorized because I had the address in my phone. I didn’t think I’d need to memorize it. Also, you can’t log into Airbnb without your phone number receiving a text. The only way I got back to the Airbnb was by walking until I recognized my car.

Also, to be clear, I know now that my friends were shitty friends. That’s why I’m not friends with them anymore. But most people don’t know how far their friends will (or won’t) go for them until you’re in a situation like this. Which is why my advice is to never rely on friends, even ones you think are trustworthy. DO NOT go out if you have no independent way of getting yourself home. Write down your address. Memorize a reliable friend’s phone number. These are all things I’ve done since, but things that I didn’t know I needed to do.


r/TwoXChromosomes 14h ago

The lack of consideration...

736 Upvotes

Just a little vent. Today was my pre-planned big Christmas shopping day. Supposed to be up early to drive to the big shopping mall 1.5hrs away for a big, fun day out with my partner.

Well, we got invited to a game night at his mate's yesterday who lived an hour away. Okay, fine. Then turns out someone is bringing weed. Less fine. But it's okay because the other girlfriends don't do it so begrudgingly I go along, I am driver so don't drink. We have a good time for most of the night, then SO misses our planned leave time. I have to nag. Friend's SO is helping me nag the guys as she knows we have plans for the morning, and I am grateful to her. 40 minutes later we are finally leaving. Get back at nearly 2am, SO is looking pretty rough but whatever.

This morning rolls around and I get up to get ready but.... SO is horribly hungover. So I can either go on my own now or miss out. Its the last free weekend we have and I am so disappointed. Fed up of men never putting any importance on our plans/wants. Fed up of micromanaging.

Sorry for the vent.

ETA: I know the weed didn't cause the hangover! Lol.

Also update; I went alone. Got some good Christmas shopping down. Bit down about going alone, but hey. Thanks for the expensive coffee suggestion - it helped!

Update 2: when I got back SO was very apologetic and upset about messing up and missing out. He tried to come to meet me there later but was too sick from the hangover (to be honest, I was still cross so I didn't really want to be met there anyway). He is now trying to take me next weekend with his daughter, which I appreciate, but obviously would have prefered to just do the original plan. We'll see how it goes. Still pretty disappointed to be honest!


r/TwoXChromosomes 5h ago

Guy came in me without asking, don’t know how to go about this morally NSFW

100 Upvotes

I had a one night stand recently and the guy removed the condom at one point and came in me without telling me. He told me after. If this happened to someone else, I would say it’s sexual assault. Technically, I still think it’s assault. But I don’t know what level of severity I should treat it as or what. I’m uncomfortable and I had a bad dream last night that was related to it. I don’t know what to do.

(I took 2 plan B pills because I’m over 200lbs. I probably would’ve done that even if I hadn’t know he came in me. Pregnancy is not my concern. My concern is that I feel like I should do something about this morally and I don’t know what to do.)


r/TwoXChromosomes 1d ago Silver Gold Helpful

Is it just me who reads Baby It's Cold Outside as a song about moral policing of women rather than as coercive?

3.4k Upvotes

In recent years a lot of people have declared this song to be problematic due to the idea that the male singer's persistent dismissals of the female singer's desire to leave amount to coercion. With particular scrutiny on the line 'say, what's in this drink?' impying he is even plying her with unsolicited alcohol or worse.

However, in the context of the time it was written in (1944), I've always interpreted it differently. In my interpretation, the female singer digs this guy and wants to spend the night with him, but is conscious of the moral scrutiny that women were subject to at that time, and so is coming up with excuses as to why she shouldn't stay ("the neighbours might think..." "my maiden aunt's mind is vicious"... "there's bound to be talk tomorrow") - which the man is meeting with excuses as to why she should stay (basically, it's cold outside)

The fact that she wants to stay and is only talking herself out of it due to what others might think, is reflected in lines like "at least I'm gonna say that I tried" and "well maybe just a half a drink more."

In light of the fact they would usually be drinking spirits or cocktails in that time period, my interpretation of the "say, what's in this drink?" line is just "oof, how strong have you made this?"

Maybe it's just me but I feel it can be completely interpreted as a song about a couple of people who want to get it owwwwn but are being held back by the mores of the time.


r/TwoXChromosomes 16h ago

I guess strangers no longer consider women “off-limits” when we’re out with a male companion.

473 Upvotes

This has happened to me (30’s F) three times in the past two months, and it’s happened to many of my friends recently. We live in a large, progressive city in the US.

There used to be some unspoken rule among men which prohibited them from approaching a woman in public if she was accompanied by another man. As terrible as that is, I’m sure we’ve all learned to take advantage of this by having male friends/family/acquaintances run errands with us or walk with us between destinations, especially at night. Just having a male body by my side used to be like a magic forcefield that temporarily repelled the creeps and allowed me to go about my day without getting yelled at, propositioned, or touched by strangers.

When I go out in public with my (male) partner, we often hold hands, share food, swap drinks—it’s obvious we’re a couple. But suddenly, it seems like his magic forcefield has dissipated. Random men have approached me while he has his arm around me. They’ve even acknowledged him, and then continued trying to hit on me. What fresh hell is this?!

The other night was probably the most unsettling incident. We were out with a group of 5 or 6 friends, and I was walking arm-in-arm with my partner (it’s cold here). A man around our age was standing on the sidewalk ahead of us, and as our group passed by, he pointed at me and yelled “HEY! WHOSE GIRL IS THIS? IS THIS SOMEONE’S GIRL?” He was met with blank stares as we momentarily puzzled over how best to address this bizarre question, which was somehow ABOUT me, yet not directed AT me. My partner yelled back “SHE’S WITH ME” and we all kept walking.

(As an aside, my partner is fully aware of how problematic that whole exchange was, but he has quickly realized it’s the best way to shut down these situations. I’m a soft-spoken introvert so I’m super grateful when he does that.)

I can’t help but compare this new reality to the buying and selling of livestock. I’m just a big, healthy cow that currently belongs to one farmer, but maybe with a little bargaining, he could be convinced to trade or sell me to another farmer. Perhaps with enough prodding, the prized cow might even be persuaded to ditch its current owner for greener pastures.

This seems to be a pretty universal new problem for most women I’ve talked to, with the notable exception of my married friends—I suspect the ring on their finger has become the new magic forcefield.

I’ve held off on making this post for a while, because I’m afraid it will come off as a “pretty privilege” humblebrag. But it’s not…I am sincerely becoming increasingly nervous to go out in public. It just doesn’t feel safe anymore.


r/TwoXChromosomes 1h ago

Most Men are so deep in denial

Upvotes

About quite literally any and all pain, inequity, disadvantages that women receive. In fact, they are in denial about everything.

They deny that men feel entitled to a woman’s body and time. They deny women are often paid less. They deny that most men are sexist. They deny the mass amounts of sexual assault and harassment women experience. They deny catcalling is still a thing. They even deny arbitrary things like the fact that period cramps can be as painful as a heart attack for some women.

We say NO we first hand experience these things. They deny it. We have proof it happened. They STILL deny it.

I’m sick and tired of men telling women what they feel, think, do, the way they should act, their purpose as a women.

I’m sick of it. The more I look around the more I notice these things.

I had a man feel entitled to cut in front of me in the line today and say nothing. Just walk right in front of me and expect me to move backwards.

I’m sick of living in this type of world, knowing that it will remain mostly the same for my lifetime.

We are not animals, we are not property, we are not incubators and we are not unequal.


r/TwoXChromosomes 1d ago Helpful

Judge blocks Indiana abortion ban after Jewish, Muslim and other non-Christian women said it violated the Religious Freedom Restoration Act. ACLU: "Although some religions believe that human life begins at conception, this is not an opinion shared by all religions or all religious people"

Thumbnail reuters.com
3.4k Upvotes

r/TwoXChromosomes 7h ago Hugz

Guilt over cat’s death—how do I move on?

69 Upvotes

I don’t know where else to post this. I am grieving today as I woke up to discover my 18 year old cat missing. We eventually discovered what happened and I don’t want to share details because it’s distressing but in the end, she did not make it.

I realize that she likely slipped past me when I was turning on my front door wreath’s lights and the guilt is so overwhelming. Also, if we had noticed her missing in the evening, we may have found her; but at 18 years, it’s not uncommon for her to hide away for long periods.

She was the best cat and while we were already planning to put her down soon due to cancer, the way she ended up passing is not what she deserved and it breaks my heart.

I don’t know if I can live with myself since it’s my fault. How do I move on from this?


r/TwoXChromosomes 18h ago

I broke up with my emotionally abusive boyfriend

397 Upvotes

I finally snapped tonight and did it.

He was an asshole from the beginning. We work together and he knew I liked him, and after months of leading me on we hooked up at a work party. He only decided to tell me afterwards that he had a girlfriend and couldn't 'do that again'.

A week later he broke up with her and told me he had feelings for me and worked really hard to get me to give in and give him a chance.

I reluctantly did, and he made me feel like shit time and time again. At my graduation party, he kept trying to get me to end my own party early so that we can go to a concert. By the end of the night I pulled him aside and asked him to please stop trying to get me to end my party cause I only get to graduate once and he can go to a concert any time. His response was 'actually you graduated twice'. Like he didn't give a shit.

My mom lives in another country and came to visit a couple months back. I warned him that for the few weeks she was here, I was going to spend most of my time with her. During that time, he kept making me feel bad for seeing her and even told me that if she wanted to see me she wouldn't have left.

He's still friends with his ex (this is a different ex) and admitted that they've hooked up several times post breakup. One day he made plans with her so she could pick up her mail. I told him it's fine if they hang out but my boundary is that I don't want her over at his apartment. He lied and said they went to a bar and I found out later that she went to his house, against my wishes.

I also found him active on tinder one night, which he then admitted to, 'because he was mad about a fight we got in'.

Last month he had an all boys trip and was supposed to come back on the Friday. Friday night was supposed to be a date night but he postponed it until Saturday because 'they decided to stay at the cottage for one more day'. But then next day when I came over (which was earlier than he expected), I used the bathroom and it was very clear a girl had used the toilet and not flushed.

Last week I found a cd in his car titled 'tinder lays' with hearts and he had the audacity to tell me it was from an ex girlfriend a long time ago and doesn't remember her name.

None of this even touches on the fact that he constantly makes me feel like shit and has even gotten mad at me for literally just breathing while he is 'trying to concentrate'.

Another thing he did last week? We did anal and it was hurting a lot. I knew something was wrong because it never hurts, and I asked him to stop. Instead, he didn't listen and said he just needs to keep doing it and it will stop hurting eventually. I had to practically scream and push him off to get him to finally listen.

And tonight? Tonight we went to a bar with his friends whom he hasn't seen in a long time (it was my first time meeting them). I left a bit early with the rest of the guys and he stayed behind with the girls, even though him and I had plans to come back to my apartment. He told me he wanted to stay to catch up with his friend matt. I noticed Matt was also getting in the Uber home so I asked him how he's planning on doing that If matt is going home. He told me that Matt is coming back. On the ride home I asked Matt if that was true and it was not.

I asked him why he lied and he kept insisting that he wasn't lying. I told him that I was no longer cool with him staying and I wanted him to Uber home. He refused to, and kept ignoring my calls.

So, I broke up with him through text.

His response? He tells me that he's also done with me and calls me crazy.

ME.

I'm the crazy one even though he's a complete asshole with no respect for boundaries, who is perfectly ok with lying to me, and who thinks he can treat me like absolute garbage.

But I try and stick up for myself so now I'm crazy?

Good riddance.

Monday is going to be awkward when I see him in the office, literally 2 cubicles down from me.


r/TwoXChromosomes 13h ago Silver

Iran to disband morality police amid ongoing protests, says attorney general

Thumbnail bbc.com
173 Upvotes

r/TwoXChromosomes 1d ago Helpful All-Seeing Upvote Bravo!

/r/all Indiana Judge Finds Attorney General Violated State Law, Caused 'Irreparable Harm' to Doctor Who Cared for Pregnant 10-Year-Old Ohio Rape Victim

Thumbnail lawandcrime.com
15.5k Upvotes

r/TwoXChromosomes 11h ago

I broke up with my boyfriend. I'm feeling bad for letting him down after he made a big life change and scared about my dating future.

106 Upvotes

I am a 33 year old woman and I reached out to you all about a month ago for advice about navigating a relationship between my law enforcement boyfriend while still prioritizing my career as a (non-academic) researcher after getting a PhD in physics.

I was dating a wonderful guy long distance and we were in the process of trying to close the gap. He was a police officer in another state, I was working as a research scientist the next state over after getting a PhD. He and I worked together while in the military, so our relationship made sense and we knew each other well. He originally didn't want to move to me because of the complications of starting in a new police department, and the one he would be transferring to was known to have bad morale and didn't have his dream role that he was currently working in as a full time SWAT officer (the local department here only has a part-time SWAT team). He didn't really understand what a job search entailed for me even though I tried to explain it to him ("you have a PhD! It should be easy for you to get a job!"), and he spent the first two years confidently incorrect and convinced I could move to him. He really wanted me to stay in my field, but I knew that wasn't going to be easy. I went to grad school in his city and wanted to stay, but couldn't. I offered to go back to school for a year to get a job in his city but only if we got engaged, but he thought I already had enough school and also wanted to live together before committing to me. He didn't want to get engaged until we had a plan for my employment. I refused to move under that circumstance, because it would mean I was going to have to give up my career. This resulted in a lot of fighting between us. Throughout it all, he was still explaining to me why changing departments would be terrible for him.

After about two years, he realized that I really wasn't lying about it being hard to get a research job in his city. I was still sort of willing to go back to school for a year to get a certification or something to make his city work, but I was way more hesitant. Then, one day when he was visiting me, he told me he was willing to move to my city! I was shocked! But then the next day, he said that actually, he thought it would be better for him to join a federal agency as a special agent and request a "hardship" city that was "only" four hours away. He would work there for a few years and could eventually transfer to my city. I was really upset because we were already long distance for so long. I had a panic attack, begging him not to do that. But then the next day, he talked to the recruiter and got the process started. He was trying to convince me it was better - "we would see each other more than if I work night shift!" He told me his friends and family were on board with this too. He explained that the pay and benefits and flexibility would be better, too!

He didn't get the hardship city. He got a city that was across the country, but had two labs in it that I could probably get a job in. I started applying for jobs there. He graduated and proposed in a way that didn't make me feel valued (he didn't get on a knee, didn't get me a ring) and when I brought it up, he said that the commitment was the more important part to him. Eventually he decided to get me a ring, but it was so frustrating by that point that it didn't feel sentimental to me.

This summer, he moved to the city and signed a lease without asking me for my input and it ended up being over an HOUR away from either lab! But he insisted that him telling me the name of the neighborhood was enough for ME to look up and tell him it was too far... I finally got two job offers, one at each lab. One was a huge step down pay wise and professionally where I was going to install and maintain equipment. No thanks. The other was technically a promotion, but I was worried because I knew that that place is having some issues with the project and theirs might not get renewed. Because my area of research isn't a main priority of that lab, I knew I could get laid off. I talked to him about it, and he actually got really nasty and telling me that I made him "sacrifice his dream job so I could work in my field, and now I am complaining about the work." I mentioned that since a layoff could be inevitable after the funding was cut, I should probably go ahead with the certificate anyway just so I have a plan B. He accused me of not wanting to work hard enough to stay in my field, and if I was going to give up so easily, I should have just moved to his city several years ago and let him have his dream job.

He became really withdrawn and depressed. He started ignoring me and not talking to me. So I asked him what was going on and he said, "You made me leave the job I wanted to do, in the city I wanted to live in, to move to an expensive frozen s***hole to be poor, so I could lose the ability to buy a house for a decade, put off my retirement by 7 years, all so you can leave your research anyway! Thanks!" (Mind you, he's still on track to retire by 50...) He told me that he doesn't understand why I would get a "useless" degree where I can't get a job anywhere. He also told me he thought my priorities were messed up for choosing a career that would keep me far from my family forever.

A day later, he called me to apologize and explained to me he understands how I got to where I am. He said that sometimes people go to college and get a degree that they think is worthwhile but struggle to get a job and realize later that there was no real-life application. So they decide to go to grad school for more education only to realize it makes their problem worse and now they are LESS marketable. Never mind the fact that there are jobs where I could be making more than $300k a year that I could have taken if I didn't care about his preferences in policing...

So it was obvious he resents me for not moving to him and letting him follow his dreams. I told him that he basically made me regretful and ashamed of my career. So I broke up with him.

Now he's depressed and miserable, same as before, but now he lives in a city he doesn't want to live in because of me and I'm not even going there. I really did affect his financial situation but not terribly so, he is in a better job after all. He says he regrets even dating me because he was happy before he ever met me, and now his life is ruined. I feel terrible.

And as for me, I'm terrified of starting over in my 30s. I really want to have a family one day and I'm afraid I am out of time. I really loved him, I wanted things to work so badly. I wish he made different choices, listened to me about my career situation, and didn't fight me about going back to school and proposed to me two years ago when I was trying to move to his city. But that's not what happened. Instead, he refused to make compromises and we ended up in this situation where I slowly started giving up right when he was trying to make things happen by taking this fed job.

I realize now after talking to all of you that I needed to end things. The way that this situation even happened is because he overvalued his career and accomplishments while undervaluing mine. But at the same time, I overvalued his and undervalued mine as well because I grew up in a blue collar family. I'm sad. I never tried harder in a relationship, so I'm really sad that this didn't work out especially if it turns out that I really end up not being able to meet someone else to have kids with one day. And now with Christmas coming up, I'm going to seem like a total mess up for telling my extended family that I have yet again failed at a relationship.


r/TwoXChromosomes 9h ago

Trust your instincts. Sometimes you just know.

65 Upvotes

I don't believe in psychic powers, but I believe in instincts. Instincts are inferences you make from subtle things that you subconsciously observe. They are VERY RELIABLE.

"Gabby" and I are friends since high school. She started a company last year that was supposed to help people raise their credit scores. I thought it was a tough sell, but the business model made sense to me. When she offered me a job, my instincts made it easy to say no.

I just knew that workplace would turn toxic. It was also the worst place to mix money with friendship.

Not to mention, Gabby needed someone to make sales, which is not my skillset nor something I care to learn. So everything else aside, I don't think I would have been a good fit.

The company did well for a few months. Then they changed some things and started falling. Everyone took a big pay cut. Gabby would yell at employees in front of everyone. One guy started telling others that the company would go bankrupt, and Gabby told another employee to kick him in the balls. These are just things I've heard. What I know is that the company didn't work out and Gabby's being sued.

The saddest part is that everyone in this used to be friends. I don't think it's a case of "now I see your true colors and you were never my friend anyway." It's more like "I wish I hadn't put myself in situations that caused me to act this way."

I think everyone had a sense of how things would turn out, but some people ignored that instinct because working with your friends for a startup was too exciting.

Moral of the story - trust your instincts.


r/TwoXChromosomes 2h ago

Wanting to conceive but I live in Texas

14 Upvotes

Fiancé and I desperately want to start a family. We are planning to move out of Texas in about two years. But the amount of time until we leave is daunting. We are aware of the new laws and are nervous to conceive here. I was pregnant before and miscarried early on. Thankfully, I miscarried at home naturally. Everything was fine. Im scared of another miscarriage of course but now Im also scared because of the new Texas laws in case I would need a D&C or something.

Does anyone have any advice? I know we could just wait until we move. I just wanted some opinions on if we did go ahead and decide to try to have a baby here.


r/TwoXChromosomes 15h ago

How do I get used to men finding me attractive? (and stop getting creepes out)

132 Upvotes

Growing up autistic, I was "othered" my whole life long. Born a cis girl, guys never treated me like one. Mostly they were either indifferent or hated my guts -and I mean; REALLY hated my guts. From fights to nutcases that tried killing me/doxx me. I've seen it all.

Now I'm an adult and changed a lot in the last 2 years, including starting to use makeup. After a while I noticed men started acting different towards me. In the way that I've seen them get flustered and awkward around my pretty friends and act like I do when I'm attracted to someone. Especially in the way where they go out of their way to talk to me, ask for my opinion and nervously laugh etc.

And...I don't know, I just can't deal with this. They're not inappropriate or aggressive, or throwing red flags per se, but I'm always creeped out. Like, as if I were facing a meth addict -acting abnormal and unnatural. Sometimes it even feels like a form of attack, as dumb as it sounds.

My female relatives just find my situation hilarious. They're all used to attention from guys since an early age (both good and bad). I guess a part of my brain is just psychologically confused why someone "aggressive" and "hates me" suddenly tries to act nice and caring. (Which is dumb, because these guys never knew me before)

I just don't know. Any tips for that?


r/TwoXChromosomes 2h ago

My boyfriend is a winner

11 Upvotes

My (28f) boyfriend (32m) mentioned a couple times a few months after we met that he was interested in having kids. At the time I stayed silent because I knew I never wanted kids, but I didn’t know when or how to tell him. It’s been eating me up inside for months. Today I decided to sit down and talk to him about how I don’t want kids-ever-and if that was something he wanted now or ever then we should talk about moving forward with our relationship. He listened quietly while I talked and cried, held my hand, and when I was finished, he took both of his hands, held my face to his, looked me in the eyes, and said “You are enough for me.” He told me that although he said that, what he wanted even more was someone who loved him for who he is, a good, loving, healthy relationship, and that all he wanted and needed was me in his life, kids or no kids. I cried. We hugged. I am relieved. I love this man.


r/TwoXChromosomes 28m ago

This is for all the creeps lurking on Reddit. NSFW

Upvotes

If you want sexual pleasure so badly, watch porn or find a sex worker. Stop preying on innocent people. I’m not a woman, I’m a girl. A teenage girl who uses Reddit as a place to vent, and a place for entertainment. I’m not here to be manipulated or groomed by pedos.

Stop acting like you actually care for those innocent victims. Stop acting nice at first just to pressure them into sending nudes later on. There are websites that can fulfill your sexual needs. Use those instead of ruining people’s lives and exploiting them. We have feelings, you know?

You’re clearly harming others, so get help.


r/TwoXChromosomes 1d ago

I have COVID and my husband told me to "stay away"

857 Upvotes

I (41f) tested positive for COVID yesterday and have been absolutely miserable. My amazing husband (41m) of 12 years stepped up hardcore to give me some rest and healing. I'm staying in our guest room (so thankful we are able to have that privilege) and he is keeping the house clean, kids (10&12) and pets taken care of and helps bring me anything I may need (food, drink, meds). He just brought me some soup and I thanked him for helping out so much, taking on all the burdens /stress himself and that I wished I could help. He said "I know. Just stay away." And I know he very much said that with love.

I wish I could give him a hug!!

EdIt:

I did not think this post would get this much traction and the sheer amount of responses about my title in my inbox and in comments is silly. I am not a writer, I am a woman sick with COVID that just tried to sum up how I could, for me. For those offended that you did not get the "drama" behind what you thought was the title, I am sorry I stole a min of your day. It's not like you paid for my novel based on the title and were disappointed in the book. This is reddit. Lol


r/TwoXChromosomes 1h ago

How Dobbs Triggered a ‘Vasectomy Revolution’

Thumbnail politico.com
Upvotes