r/funny Dec 01 '22 Silver 2 Helpful 3

Car parked in San Francisco being put to the test.

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63.1k Upvotes

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12.3k

u/CuriousCryptid444 Dec 01 '22 Helpful Pot o' Coins Eureka!

Someone should put a bullet proof vehicle equipped with cameras and goodies inside and leave it parked next to the Golden Gate Park…would be a good reality show

1.7k

u/AkagisWhiteComet Dec 01 '22 Silver

There was something similar some Bay Area news channel did a while ago, where they had deliberately left something like audio equipment clearly visible in the (well, not bullet proof) car as bait with a hidden tracker. Of course, it was broken into and they followed the tracker to the thief's house.

While they were confronting the thief with cameras and microphones, the car that the news crew had arrived in was then broken into.

426

u/ThisDadisFoReal Dec 02 '22

Well they clearly forgot to put a sign on the window

97

u/Red-dy-20 Dec 02 '22

And the hidden tracker inside

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u/tomppadecay Dec 02 '22

Tenderloin moment tbh

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u/SeekNDstroy1722 Dec 02 '22

I’ve seen that too that’s that one news channel I always see on yt

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u/Sufficient_Ad_3724 Dec 02 '22

Ahh the old using the bait car as bait trick!

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u/Gregistopal Dec 01 '22

leave a macbook on the passenger seat

2.4k

u/Low_Attention16 Dec 01 '22

Install some airbags on the outside of the window that go off when the window breaks. Or confetti bomb.

2.1k

u/Crazy_Kakoos Dec 01 '22

I once saw a... I think it was South African car security system that had flame throwers under the door angle upward if somebody fucked with your car. I thought it was awesome, but had a lawyer as a college professor who told me that shit was super illegal.

1.3k

u/nearfignewton Dec 01 '22

That was in South Africa and the system was to prevent carjackings. I thought it was awesome too but as you said, very illegal in the US.

738

u/CholentPot Dec 01 '22

So is breaking into cars...

418

u/SaltWaterGator Dec 01 '22

Legality means fuck all, it’s only a crime worth convicting if you’re caught in the process and even then the DA will probably let you out with a slap on the wrist

461

u/jakwnd Dec 01 '22

Or the DA will see two easy convictions, one of which will probably get national attention.

Would be great for there resume

388

u/Culsandar Dec 01 '22 Silver

The penalties offset, 1st down.

85

u/lemmonquaaludes Dec 01 '22

Offset penalties, replay the down :)

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u/chironomidae Dec 01 '22

Yeah, but what about little kids playing with random handles? That's why booby traps are illegal, you can't guarantee they'll only hurt criminals.

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u/malovias Dec 01 '22

It wasn't a booby trap system. It was triggered by pushing down on the trigger with your foot while being carjacked. Still highly illegal in the US for sure but not a booby trap that would indiscriminately hit people like we think of as booby traps.

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u/Illustrious_Crab1060 Dec 01 '22

Also you can just shoot them

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u/malovias Dec 01 '22

Yeah...BUT FLAMETHROWER IS SO MUCH COOLER!

Also you don't have to ruin your glass by shooting through it.

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u/ControlYourPoison Dec 01 '22

My father-in-law had his radio stolen and when he installed a new one, he mounted fish hooks underneath. He came out to his car to find a guy with his hand stuck on the hooks from trying to steal the new radio. Father-in-law got a talking to from the cops.

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u/handsome_cock Dec 01 '22

FIL get charged? And, what year was this?

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u/ControlYourPoison Dec 01 '22

I think in the 70’s. It was in Jersey. I don’t think he was charged with anything. He was friends with a few cops I believe. (He passed in 1998 so I’m not 100% sure)

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u/bobk2 Dec 02 '22

Back in the 1770's, Ben Franklin tried that stunt. In those days guys had pocket watches that were pickpocketed. Ben put fish hooks in his watch pocket, and when he caught a pickpocket, he walked him around town, going to all of his usual places, ignoring his catch.

105

u/Bman10119 Dec 02 '22

Wasn't it Lincoln who said not to trust everything you read on the internet?

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u/Simple-Wrangler-9909 Dec 02 '22 edited Dec 02 '22

Whilst commonly misattributed to 16th US president Abraham Lincoln, he was merely quoting the bible, which itself was paraphrasing a passage from the Code of Hammurabi

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u/BOiNTb Dec 01 '22

That same company also has a much more popular ankle knocker, just a big metal bar under the car that swings out whne the foot button is pressed - knocks carjackers off thier feet without burning them up. I remember years back when i read about it the fireball version was still in development.

90

u/Idiot_Savant_Tinker Dec 01 '22

I kinda like this better than the flamethrower. Less likely to set your own car on fire and not quite as legally questionable.

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u/Fetlocks_Glistening Dec 01 '22

Ah, you know they're sharpened though. Spikes optional

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u/Alis451 Dec 01 '22

yes, potentially lethal traps are illegal(in the US).

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u/AkioDAccolade Dec 01 '22

Even nonlethal traps are illegal, right?

My car was getting broken into a lot so I looked at ways to discourage people from attempting it again.

I read a lot into boobytrapping laws, and even nonlethal stuff was illegal here, but you needed to prove intent.

You could not prove that I intentionally left a bunch of uncapped, bloody syringes in my console. I'm just a lazy drug user.

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u/POINTLESSUSERNAME000 Dec 01 '22

I'm sure it was incredibly effective. My first thought was a claymore facing outward. Same principle.

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u/DeFiClark Dec 01 '22

Similar to this, multi barrel gas pipe electrically fired shotguns were put on the roofs of vehicles in South Africa and Namibia as anti-ambush / carjacking devices. Called hedgehogs.

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u/Tacoshortage Dec 01 '22

Have it spray that slime from Nickelodeon.

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u/Jak_n_Dax Dec 01 '22

Glitter bomb.

It’s the herpes of craft supplies. It never goes away.

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u/Kamikaze_Ninja_ Dec 01 '22

Glitter bomb and poop spray.

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u/hardgeeklife Dec 01 '22

on the off chance that Mark Rober checks his socials, paging /u/_scienceftw_ , we need your Glitter Bomb expertise!

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u/Needednewusername Dec 01 '22

He did this… it’s one of the videos. Possibly the one where the police catch the guy with glitter on his jeans. They basically had no success

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u/Tmdngs Dec 01 '22

It will be stolen as they leave the house to put it in the car

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u/Dopeydcare1 Dec 01 '22

I seem to recall, maybe it was a news thing, but way back in like 2005, seeing a video/show about leaving an unlocked car with the keys in the visor and it had hidden cameras and the cops would immediately run them down.

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u/CuriousCryptid444 Dec 01 '22

Another redditor posted about it. Bait car, it’s on YouTube

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u/it_vexes_me_so Dec 01 '22

The police have also used bait bicycles.

I remember seeing an episode of Cops where rather than using some cheap Schwinn from Walmart, they used a Mercedes bicycle (which apparently is a thing) valued at more than $2000 so the thief could then be charged with grand theft instead of simple larceny. They left it unlocked, leaning against the wall. Lots of takers.

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u/Nick08f1 Dec 02 '22

I liked the one where they tied a rope to the bicycle so when the rope ran out they would fly.

24

u/AsteriusRex Dec 02 '22

There is another one where they put a hole in the saddle and so when they sat on it it would go down and the seat post would go up their ass.

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u/alwayslatetotheparty Dec 02 '22

And this is free?

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u/grumpy999 Dec 02 '22

PENETRATION!

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u/kejartho Dec 01 '22 edited Dec 02 '22

My dad said that the police in LA in the 90s would do stings with leaving cassette players in cars with the windows rolled down. He said people would constantly get arrested. Often times people would get arrested multiple times even.

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u/IBJON Dec 01 '22

There was an entire TV show on truTV called Bait Car that has this exact premise

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u/MasterpieceBrave420 Dec 01 '22

That show is called "bait car" and it already exists.

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u/RaizenInstinct Dec 01 '22

I saw one indie movie where a guy loc ked a thieve in the car for a few days, pretty good watch

Edit: its called 4x4 (2019)

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u/WillemDafoesHugeCock Dec 01 '22

I put this on just because of your comment and you're not wrong, this movie is great. Wasn't expecting to be this engrossed by a movie about a dude in a car.

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u/N0T_SURE Dec 01 '22

It would be ONLY for show. The police in San Francisco / Bay Area are completely powerless.

My car was broken into in Oakland, they took my work bag that had a GPS tracker, which led me to the thief's tent, under a bridge, I called the police, they came 2 hours later, interrogatef the "owner" of the tent but they denied stealing anything, so the police told me I had to make a police report for them to be able to get a search warrant to be able to search the tent... The tents are considered their "home" so it's a great loophole for homeless people to steal whatever they want with total impunity.

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u/CuriousCryptid444 Dec 01 '22

I had a similar experience. Got robbed and then later I confronted a man at a cash and check place when a man tried to cash a check that was stolen from me. Called the police, the man said that someone else gave him the checks. The police literally asked me “what do you want us to do”. More to the story but you can probably imagine…

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u/Mumei451 Dec 01 '22 edited Dec 02 '22

Should have been like: "Well, you can fuck him up at least, right??"

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u/CuriousCryptid444 Dec 01 '22

I felt bad for the guy because he was clearly in rough shape. But, I was living out of my car at the time and had been robbed three times. Stolen camera, bike, clothes, passport, checks. I thought that it was very clear this man was robbing me and that the police might help….they did not. They actually got mad at me…

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u/ender2851 Dec 01 '22

if you want change, vote out all public officials who are enabling shit tier behavior.

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u/CuriousCryptid444 Dec 01 '22

I moved. Fun city, but it was chaotic for me.

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u/-AlternativeSloth- Dec 01 '22

Out of curiosity, what would stop someone from "stealing" their stuff back? I mean other then potentially getting murdered by random drug addicts.

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u/xrandx Dec 01 '22 edited Dec 01 '22

See we used to do this thing in that property was yours' only truly if you could first possess it and then defend it. This had the effect of ensuring only the strong and the rich owned anything. So we all got together and created governments whom we pay part of our the product of our labor for the common use and good, gave them a legal monopoly on violence, and the ability to create and enforce laws in exchange, among other rights, for the security of knowing our property rights would be defended. Things have progressed to a point where we can no longer count on the government to keep it's end of this bargain. Guess what happens next?

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u/LaserGuidedPolarBear Dec 02 '22

I'm surprised we arent seeing stories about theft victims getting their buddies, strapping up, and going to find their stuff when it has a GPS locator. Although I guess we would only get news stories about it if something went wrong.

Last year someone broke into my place and took my tent and some other camping gear. Then they set it up on the sidewalk around the corner. Strangely, that tent got cut up and everything in it was pepper sprayed a few days later. Bad luck I guess.

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u/LordoftheSynth Dec 02 '22

In principle I am opposed to vigilantism because vigilantes often ultimately aren’t too choosy to whom they dispense frontier justice.

But if the cops aren’t going to do shit anymore, I’m quietly going to be cheering them on. Let people commit crime with impunity for too long and the victims will eventually take the law into their own hands.

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u/Nixplosion Dec 01 '22

Honestly if I had the foresight to put a GPS in something I thought would get stolen and then tracked it to the thieves tent, I wouldn't call the police. I'd just wait for him to step out and then steal it back and shit in his bed.

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u/N0T_SURE Dec 01 '22

Lol, you're a brave man. I had my kids with me that day... It was a thought that crossed my mind but I got scared.

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u/hattmall Dec 01 '22

Pay another homeless person $20 next time.

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u/Parrek Dec 01 '22

No? If someone steals something and takes it to a brick home, the police still have to get a warrant

File the report, they get the warrant, or you see it's been moved and go there

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u/rebelshirts Dec 01 '22

Prescription pain pill bottle on the dash.

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u/Nurse_Neurotic Dec 01 '22

I feel like putting these notes on your car will make people vandalize it just for the hell of it.

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u/infiniZii Dec 01 '22

I think their window took a bullet and they put up this sign to tell people not to screw with the damaged window because it will not break.

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u/thepenis_mightier Dec 01 '22

Put yourself in the mind of a common thief. The sign would just make me want to break it more

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u/DeepFriedDresden Dec 02 '22

A common thief wants to get in and out as quickly and, sometimes, as quietly as possible. The reason this would attract more attention from thieves is that a common thief would see it as a cover for an easy to break-in vehicle rather than a challenge. Notice the one hit to the window. Didn't break, they moved on.

If they saw it as a challenge you would likely see more damage across different areas.

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u/FuckoNo5 Dec 02 '22

However in certain areas where they know they can operate with just absolute impunity...they don't care.

To steal from people to begin with is to say "fuck this stranger."

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u/chrslby Dec 02 '22

Car pulled up behind my work yesterday at around noon. 2 guys hop out, each one busts out 1 window on 2 cars 60 seconds later they were gone. We had a vehicle make license plate and a description of the people. the police didn't care. they wrote out the report and that is all that will ever come of it. its not worth their time.

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u/2tonehead Dec 01 '22

I guess it would have been a totally different story if it had read "bullet proof"... ;D

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u/A40 Dec 01 '22 Table Slap

Different typo: They were referring to San Francisco police lieutenant Frank Bullitt.

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u/[deleted] Dec 01 '22

[deleted]

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u/A40 Dec 01 '22 edited Dec 01 '22

He's an L.A. police squad detective, but that's not important right now.

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u/cdpasadena Dec 01 '22

Well?! He didn’t get in, did he?!?

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u/Mental_Newspaper3812 Dec 01 '22

Yeah, as it is, the window only resists a green 1968 Ford Mustang GT striking it. Kinda useless to be honest.

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u/VitalTrouble Dec 01 '22

You never know when Steve McQueen might attack, you gotta be prepared

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u/ProfessorPickaxe Dec 01 '22

Trying to figure out the Venn diagram here. First bubble has people who can afford bulletproof glass, second bubble is people who know how to spell "bullet".

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u/dant90 Dec 01 '22

Or Bulleit. Just yeet a bottle of bourbon at it.

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u/BuzzHasThickThighs Dec 01 '22

But could it stop someone who drank a fifth of Bulleit?

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u/Whatifisaid- Dec 01 '22

If I drank a fifth of bulleit I’d be passed out in bed, so maybe!

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u/mr_ji Dec 01 '22

"How tough are these windows?"

"About 90."

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u/Zarniwoopdescoop Dec 01 '22

The whole bay area is notorious for break ins. I paid to park in a parking garage overnight, had two windows smashed, stereo gone, and somehow the garages camera footage had mysteriously gone missing for that time frame

5.0k

u/Otto_Maller Dec 01 '22 Helpful

My friend parked on the street in SF and left all the windows down, glove box open, literally nothing to steal. They shit in his car.

1.4k

u/KoniecLife Dec 01 '22

Next time he’ll know to shit in his own car beforehand.

1.1k

u/ButtholeQuiver Dec 01 '22 Silver Wholesome

But then someone will steal his shit

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u/Tomas2891 Dec 01 '22

Makes sense the locals would want killer robots on patrol. Robocop starting in SF instead of Detroit

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u/Admirable_Window1679 Dec 01 '22

Detroit uses AI surveillance on the whole city. ' green light project ' tracked the whole city entered them in facial recognition data base. One politician spoke out on the true nature of the green light project and was removed by police. Also Detroit has Dpd, border patrol, sheriffs and most surrounding cities have jurisdiction in city limits no robots needed

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u/aDirtyMuppet Dec 01 '22

How exactly was a politician removed by police?

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u/Admirable_Window1679 Dec 01 '22

He showed up to city hall at a open meeting and spoke out in public and multiple Dpd officers removed him from the building. It's been some years now. I can't remember his name. I will do some searching later when I have the time.

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u/IIIlllIlIlIlIl Dec 01 '22

Man, can’t have shit in SF!

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u/Obvious_Moose Dec 01 '22

Sure you can! It's literally all over the fucking place there

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u/Itsfreezing Dec 01 '22 Helpful

Thanks for the F shack.

  • Dirty Mike and the Boys

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u/PapaBradford Dec 01 '22

We will be back

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u/wiseroldman Dec 01 '22 edited Dec 02 '22

Buddy of mine parked his car over night in Chinatown in SF. Forgot to lock his doors and a homeless guy pissed all over his back seat. It still smells like piss to this day and it happened two years ago.

Edit: Thank you everyone for your suggestions on how to get the pee smell out. For closure here is how the story ends. My buddy got used to the smell after a while and he doesn’t smell it anymore. But the rest of us do. So the conclusion was that he never takes passengers in his car. And yes, everybody has suggested he get a new car. He just doesn’t want to.

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u/ChanceConfection3 Dec 01 '22

Great conversation piece

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u/thegreat22 Dec 01 '22

"why's it smell like shit in here?"

Him: "it's piss and it's a funny story actually."

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u/danielleiellle Dec 01 '22

A good detailing place could get this smell out.

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u/wiseroldman Dec 01 '22

He took it to a detailing place that tried their best. Problem is he has a Prius with cloth seats, so the liquid has fused with the seats at this point.

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u/anonymousperson767 Dec 02 '22

All of the cushions in a car are replaceable. Like it's a couple bolts and a hook to pop out the bottom seat cushion and the back part also unbolts. Just go buy replacements from a wrecking yard. Wanna say $100 would do the job...probably cheaper than a detailer.

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u/Bretty_boy Dec 01 '22

Fuck it must have been good piss

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u/spartan5312 Dec 01 '22

Nipple tingling, spine shattering, one leg jiggling type.

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u/comdoriano009 Dec 01 '22

What the hell tell him to go buy seats from a junk yard

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u/DarkDuo Dec 01 '22

I feel you, I parked on the street, they broke my windows took everything and then had the audacity to leave a copy of U2 on the passenger seat, I don’t even like U2

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u/BritishMotorWorks Dec 01 '22

I’d be asking U2 if they had an alibi for that day.

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u/BouncingPig Dec 02 '22

Same thing happened to a friend of mine. She left the windows down and a homeless dude slept in the back of her car and infested it with fleas.

There are SO many issues in the Bay Area+ which seemingly are ignored by majority of the city officials.

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u/mrBigBoi Dec 01 '22 edited Dec 02 '22

My friend parked on the street in SF and left all the windows down, glove box open and 2 tickets for the 49ers on the passenger seat. When he come back, he found 4 tickets for the 49ers.

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u/e11spark Dec 01 '22

I used to do that when I lived in a rough neighborhood in SF back in the day. Glove box open, ashtray on the dash, all doors unlocked. Luckily, nobody slept or shit in my car. Times have changed.

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u/Dormeh Dec 01 '22

omg I almost thought you were talking about taking a dump in other people's cars at first.

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u/zross51234 Dec 02 '22

One of my favorite SF past times

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u/TangentialFUCK Dec 01 '22

oh my god lol that really sucks

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u/Miffers Dec 01 '22

Dirty Mike and the Boys strikes again. Was your friend’s car a Prius by chance?

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u/Bravedoge Dec 01 '22

I parked downtown everyday in SF for 3 years, I got so tired I stopped locking the door and left it open with all the cubbies open. Looking back I can't believe I preferred someone to get in easy and go thro it than get another smashed window.

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u/jmiller2032 Dec 01 '22

I used to live in SF with a soft top Jeep Wrangler. Thieves kept slashing the windows so I started leaving it unlocked with nothing inside. A week later… another slashed window. Why motherfucker, why?

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u/LUHG_HANI Dec 01 '22

In Baltimore they just break your windows anyway for not having anything to steal. God forbid you have a soft top Jeep.

This is the comment directly above you. Jeez it's creepy.

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u/colbymg Dec 01 '22

last time I forgot to lock the door, someone scratched up the console around the radio trying to remove it, couldn't, so they stole the front part that you remove to prevent thieving, rendering it useless. The radio they tried to steel originally cost $17 from amazon, but was on sale for $12 when I went to replace it.

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u/thebestspeler Dec 01 '22

Why do people assume it’s sane people that break into cars? They are methed out of their minds. They aren’t thinking.

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u/[deleted] Dec 01 '22

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u/bedo6776 Dec 01 '22

I left my car unlock by mistake once and the only thing of value inside was a cup holder full of pennies. The thief decided taking the pennies was not worth it and thew them everywhere inside the car.

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u/Sasuke0318 Dec 02 '22

The fact that people have to do this as a normal thing is insane to me. I can't imagine going through all of that and still not knowing if your car will be fucked up any given day of the week. I mean seriously how do you live like this? You literally couldn't pay me to live in a shithole like this!

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u/Repulsive-Zone830 Dec 01 '22

This shit is crazy.. I remember like 15 years ago I could park my S-Class Mercedes Benz in the tenderloin and have nothing happen to it.

What the fuck happened?

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u/Primeribsteak Dec 01 '22

In Baltimore they just break your windows anyway for not having anything to steal. God forbid you have a soft top Jeep.

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u/Im_Borat Dec 01 '22

should've installed bullit proof glass!

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u/blacktide777 Dec 01 '22 edited Dec 01 '22

It must be a cheap place to live in then due to all the crime right?

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u/NaZdrowie8 Dec 01 '22

When was this? People still steal car stereos?? Or was it an older universal head unit?

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u/Lindvaettr Dec 01 '22

Now they steal catalytic converters most of the time, instead.

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u/mccarthybergeron Dec 01 '22

Funny? No. Sad? Yes.

Source: Bay Area resident 😥

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u/templefugate Dec 01 '22

Bullitproof, nothing to loot, fire away, fire away.

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u/CareerMicDrop Dec 01 '22 edited Dec 01 '22 Silver

People sex in my unlocked car all the time. Never leave any sex for me. Not nice.

They do leave Me balloons to blow up. Nice

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u/serial_mouth_grapist Dec 01 '22

Dirty Mike and the boys giving you the ole soup kitchen?

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u/wiseroldman Dec 01 '22

A true gem of a movie.

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u/Enjoying_A_Meal Dec 01 '22

did you check the seat cushion? maybe under the seats?

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u/thebestspeler Dec 01 '22

I once had a guy break into my car and defecate in the seat as well as leave a dvd copy of morbius. It was disgusting but after putting gloves on I was able to remove the dvd.

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u/mypreciousssssssss Dec 01 '22

They can afford bulletproof windows, but not a word processor with spell check.

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u/MDMarauder Dec 01 '22 Silver

This is the Bay Area, people have more money than sense.

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u/munchanything Dec 01 '22

"What do you mean?"

--takes a drink from Jucero.

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u/-Cheezus_H_Rice- Dec 02 '22

San Francisco has an issue. Was just there and had my car broken into, in broad daylight, in front of a ton of people. Brazen.

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u/unpolire Dec 02 '22 edited Dec 02 '22

Around any school, college, university, or place where people might have laptops or phones in their vehicle, it's rampant. Thieves watch the cars as people park and run into a Starbucks, etc., then they pull up and break the windows of several cars in a row grabbing laptops, backpacks, and phones before speeding away. A friend's daughter, a freshman in college in Oakland, driving a rental car, parked, put her backpack with her new college Apple laptop in it, in her trunk, locked the car, and went in to pick up her drink order. Less than 5 minutes. A car pulled up, broke the windows and got into six cars in a row, grabbed everything inside and in the trunks of all six cars, and sped off. There were helpless witnesses who saw everything. We were told it's a regular occurrence. The newest phones and laptops, which students usually have, are worth thousands, so they can steal over $10,000 of goods in 5 minutes every time.

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u/Winjin Dec 02 '22

I though Macs have a shit resale value because they're quite sturdy about stealing? MAC-banned from the Internet and everything. My friend bought a Macbook from a pawn shop that was 100% sure it was legally sold. It locked itself immediately as it was connected to wifi. Had to get the police, get the previous owner, go to pawn shop, return money for the laptop, get the description of the guy that brought it in... Took a lot of time.

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u/unpolire Dec 02 '22

Parts. I once found an iPhone in my street that had been run over by a car. Looked on eBay and saw people buying damaged phones. They wanted the processors. I'm sure the stolen items are fenced and then disassembled for parts.

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u/dlapietra Dec 01 '22

Got a window smashed in San Francisco last month. Fuck that place, had a sleeping bag and sleeping pad hidden in the back. If I can’t leave it unattended with that I’ll just never fucking go back.

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u/Peoples_Knees Dec 01 '22

My cousin used to live in the bay area and said that it was just cheaper to leave her car unlocked so she didn't have to constantly replace the windows on her car when they got shattered

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u/S4ltyInt3ractions Dec 01 '22

What about people sleeping in it? I leave my car unlocked and have several times had someone use it to sleep, drink and who knows what else in it mostly can tell from the odor.

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u/disposable-assassin Dec 01 '22

Its cheaper to leave nothing in the car and put the back seats down. Most windows that get broken are the little triangle ones so the can reach in, pull the leaver, and check the trunk.

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u/calforhelp Dec 02 '22

I didn’t even realize that until just now. Makes total sense.

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u/Ayatrollah_Khomatmei Dec 02 '22

They call it a Soup Kitchen.

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u/kaeldrakkel Dec 02 '22

Dirty Mike and the boys!

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u/uneducatedexpert Dec 01 '22

That’s a Mercedes-Benz S Class (W220) and they have double laminated windows, a lot of people think they are bulletproof due to the thickness. https://i.imgur.com/xDjTLiB.jpg

MB Forum thread

Armored windows have very thick borders around them to stop projectiles from entering the cabin through body gaps, and those are clearly not present in this car.

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u/oo7_and_a_quarter Dec 01 '22

Was that a haiku?

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u/sintaur Dec 01 '22

Windows do not break.

They are all bullet proof glass.

Nothing in the car.

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u/sintaur Dec 01 '22

the doors are unlocked.

nothing of value in here.

please don't use for sex.

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u/greendragon59911 Dec 01 '22

Nightmare red Prius

"Thanks for the F-Shack" note says

  • Dirty Mike and boys
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u/ScorchReaper062 Dec 02 '22

This makes me think there should be self driving bait cars that when hijacked, will lock the thieves in and drive them to the police station.

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u/pokepok Dec 02 '22

It’s interesting to take the effort to laminate, but not to spell check.

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u/mygoditsfullofstars2 Dec 01 '22

So it's been a while since I've been to San Francisco....but I guess all the cars get broken into?

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u/book_book Dec 01 '22

I grew up in the East Bay but rented a car at SFO last summer to visit family. The rental place told us over and over leave nothing in the car and be careful where you park. While paying for the rental a customer came back with a car that has been broken into, for the second time their trip.

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u/Determined_Cucumber Dec 02 '22

My Brother in Law one time had the car he was about to rent get broken in.

Must be some crazy people because they tried to loot a rental lot filled with empty cars.

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u/Matrix17 Dec 02 '22

Rentals are big targets because tourists leave shit in their car

It's easy to tell whats a rental or tourist

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u/exccord Dec 01 '22

So it's been a while since I've been to San Francisco....but I guess all the cars get broken into?

Last time I was there was 2015 and I am in the same boat as you....what the fuck is happening there?

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u/Snufflebear420_69 Dec 02 '22

Car breakins and thefts have gone up a lot, but outside of the pandemic years, other types of crime are not much different than they were in 2015. Overall everything is pretty bad though.

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u/jean-7997 Dec 01 '22

I visited in late October and witnessed a smash and grab right in front of the Painted Ladies. The whole thing took less than 10 seconds.

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u/Chairboy Dec 01 '22

right in front of the Painted Ladies

What ever happened to predictability?

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u/The-Assman-Cometh Dec 01 '22 Wholesome

The milkman and paperboy both lost their jobs and started smashin' and grabbin'

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u/Majorllama66 Dec 01 '22

Born and raised in the bay area. Lived near SF for most of my life.

SF is an actual shithole. Aside from the touristy spots they attempt to keep clean the rest of the city is smelly and disgusting.

Homelessness, drugs and unckecked crime run most of that city. Considering how expensive it is to live there idk why people put up with it.

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u/spiltnuc Dec 02 '22

I’m about to do a travel RN contract in SF, is there anywhere decent to rent my Airbnb? I’m clueless as an outsider . Any areas to completely stay out of? The hospital is near little Saigon and Japantown

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u/Snufflebear420_69 Dec 02 '22 edited Dec 02 '22

r/AskSF is a good reddit, they'll have plenty of information for you. As far as completely stay out of, I would never live in the tenderloin, and there's a lot of new housing in soma but imo it's pretty bad right now too.

Fwiw, violent crime is actually pretty low in SF compared to other cities, the main issue isn't muggings etc. It's more about property crimes, and living somewhere where you won't have sanitation issues, mentally ill people, open air drug use, etc. And there are plenty of places to live in the city where those aren't a huge problem.

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u/smellgibson Dec 02 '22

The west side of the city is slower place and chiller. I’ve lived in nopa for over a decade and love it here, can’t recommend it enough. Stay away from tenderloin and soma. Happy to answer questions

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u/Majorllama66 Dec 02 '22

Japantown and the surrounding area isn't terrible. Just walking around public spaces during the day is generally safe. The Parks and touristy areas are kept cleaner (generally) and are gonna be fairly safe. Pay attention to your surroundings and don't be afraid to dish out a stern "no!" If people are getting weird. The homeless are mostly harmless but sometimes they can get pushy.

As to where to stay in the city I don't know exactly. Aside from one swanky hotel stay I have made it my point to never sleep in SF.

Do some research before you get there. Recent crime maps for the city should give you a fairly decent idea what is going on. Mostly its theft from parked vehicles.

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u/tortillakingred Dec 01 '22

Yes. The petty crime in SF is off the charts. My friends car got smashed into 3 times last year alone, and he parks in a private lot in a decent area.

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u/Oujii Dec 02 '22

Private as in paid for? It's hard for me to conceive paying for parking and still having no warranties that your car won't be vandalized.

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u/[deleted] Dec 01 '22

Why is the window cracked open at the top?

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u/kenadams_the Dec 01 '22

bulletproof is worth nothing when the window is open like that:-)

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u/Unfulfilled_Promises Dec 01 '22 edited Dec 01 '22

Someone probs try to pry it open before or after. Having the windows down slightly makes it easier for car windows to shatter iirc. I watched a video of a dude punch through a car window during a roadside altercation after a driver almost hit his car with his daughter in back seat. Someone said it doable because the guy left his window cracked.

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u/ArcherX18 Dec 01 '22

I'm guessing they were trying to force the window down after failing to smash in

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u/Prestigeboy Dec 01 '22

From personal experience, it’s to let hot air vent out in summer weather.

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u/WattebauschXC Dec 01 '22

So how do you prep a car in a way that it appears to be an obvious trap from a cop something like this?

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u/myaccisbest Dec 01 '22

You just have to get a cop to sit in the front seat, and another cop to sit in the passenger seat.

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u/NonchalantRubbish Dec 01 '22

I couldn't have written "try to break into my car" any more concisely

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u/nurupartnerhtx Dec 01 '22

It was very nice of the owner to provide this challenge for all comers. Can’t wait to see follow up post.

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u/_Risings Dec 01 '22

Currently am in SF and witness a car break in at Twin Peaks the second day I arrived.

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u/DetentionApproved Dec 02 '22

Can’t even have a car in San Fran 😴

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u/not_rich_froning Dec 01 '22

Why does this conversation always turn into a mental illness/homelessness/rehabilitation vs incarnation argument?

People that are part of organized crime groups can just be plain old assholes. Not homeless or mentally ill, just assholes who are part of a group that likes to steal peoples shit. Not everyone has a disability. I’d wager to say most of these guys are obviously intelligent enough to get away with doing this shit for YEARS.

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u/OsakaDrifter Dec 01 '22

Yeah I personally saw a man hop out a car and pop a window in golden gate park. He had a team. A driver driving, and 2 guys on foot who would hop out, pop a window, search, and dip.

My friend and I tried to chase them down since we riding motorcycles. (super dumb, I stopped after they flashed a firearm) But after a lengthly 10+ minute chase with some sketchy driving maneuvers these guys went down a 1 way in the wrong direction and totaled their car with a head on collision.

All 3 hopped out and dipped on foot...Sf feels like a favela these days when I visit

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u/duffman7050 Dec 02 '22

All my politically progressive friends / family want to deny there's a crime problem in inner cities. Redditors are overwhelmedly progressive. Blaming it on mentally ill people suggests it's a mental illness crisis instead of (rightfully) labeling it criminal activity.

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u/CleanSanchez101 Dec 01 '22

People who make excuses for thieves are mostly sheltered, so they’ve never actually come across legitimately shitty people who like doing bad shit.

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u/Golden_Section_3313 Dec 02 '22

This is sadly what has become of beautiful San Fran…

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u/MCollecchi Dec 02 '22

Yes, it's very funny that your car windows may be smashed looking for shit to steal parking in San Francisco

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u/Alarming-Management8 Dec 01 '22

I understand I am being harsh - but time to start treating crime without kid gloves on.

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