r/me_irl Sep 24 '22 Silver 3 Helpful 1 Table Slap 1

me_irl

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57.9k Upvotes

653

u/MyDogHasAPodcast Sep 25 '22

New employee "So... is that how it's done?"

Me "No idea. But so far the boss hasn't yelled at us for doing it like that."

90

u/horrible_misery42 Sep 25 '22

Just follow and trust what your boss being instructed it's your job to do it.

62

u/NobushisHat Sep 25 '22

Some places this works

Most places you kinda gotta ever so slightly bend the rules to get things done

24

u/cskarthik123 Sep 25 '22

Fuck the system

7

u/Burymedale11times Sep 25 '22

Exactly. This is what I’m in the middle of. I’m not the role model employee but I’m the last man standing. Site supervisor retired. So the devil is showing the new boss how to run the show. And this rule bends this way and that way lol

1

u/Godspeed813 Sep 28 '22

"Dispatcher has exited the chat"

24

u/Sekkyu Sep 25 '22

Followed what my ex boss told me to do and when it was the wrong way to do it, get scolded by other department. And u know whats the funny thing? My ex boss joined in to scold me for the thing that he thought me wrong. Glad i quit

7

u/cskarthik123 Sep 25 '22

Hahahahahahahaha amen

7

u/127Heathen127 Sep 25 '22

Next day:

Cool manager: “Soooooo [boss’s name] got on us managers last night because apparently we aren’t doing [task] right…”

Every. Single. Fucking. Time.

3

u/MyDogHasAPodcast Sep 25 '22

Hahaha tell me about it. And then we do it the right way for a week just to end up back again doing it the other way.

755

u/Additional_Cycle_51 Sep 24 '22

This is something I would watch. Just the Joker and Penny clowning around.

131

u/Chance5e Sep 25 '22

Here you go. I think Joker won.

84

u/taytek Sep 25 '22

"For your next gangbang scene how about a little more PG, and maybe a lot less 13"

Fuckin hell lmao yeah the joker wins

20

u/JohanVonBronx_ Sep 25 '22

Even I wouldn't stoop to that kind of impropriety

2

u/Chance5e Sep 25 '22

This is Earth, you space demon, we live in a society!

17

u/OnTheEveOfWar Sep 25 '22

This is fucking great.

2

u/cloudsoffinlanduwu Sep 25 '22

Its beautiful.

-6

u/Meanee Sep 25 '22

I don’t know. Pennywise was pretty devastating. Joker was only reactive.

16

u/DeltaVZerda Sep 25 '22

Ironic since Pennywise only has power reactively.

3

u/DannyMThompson Sep 25 '22

I much preferred Pennywise's style in that clip. I haven't watched Rap Battles in what feels like 20 years, the production value blew me away.

6

u/a_filing_cabinet Sep 25 '22

You must've seen a much different vid than I did. Pennywise spent the entire vid trying to keep up with the joker and his only good hit was the Cask of Amontillado line

97

u/sleepsheepnumber7638 Sep 24 '22

The name of the show is carpool kill-yoky

55

u/Additional_Cycle_51 Sep 24 '22

Really!?

Edit: you lied to me…

43

u/sleepsheepnumber7638 Sep 24 '22

You believed me

27

u/Additional_Cycle_51 Sep 24 '22

Touché

2

u/Chance5e Sep 25 '22

Lessons were learned.

2

u/disposable_account01 Sep 25 '22

Clown Car Karaoke

2

u/Acceptingoptimist Sep 25 '22

Pennywise: You're really fucked up, man.

Joker: I know, right?!

1

u/cskarthik123 Sep 25 '22

All day erryday

1

u/aRandomFox-I Sep 25 '22

Joker, Penny, and the Violator.

176

u/MikefromMI Sep 25 '22

Obligatory “Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right” comment

29

u/FlyingStirFryMonster Sep 25 '22

10

u/MikefromMI Sep 25 '22

I’m older than that song, but somehow I never found out who sang it until today. Thanks for the link

7

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '22

[deleted]

1

u/MikefromMI Sep 25 '22

The song is by Stealers Wheel, not Steely Dan (see the linked video in the comment above)

2

u/BodyGravy Sep 25 '22

The way your brain works is like art.

1

u/postALEXpress Sep 25 '22

Here I am, stuck in the middle with you.

797

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '22 edited Sep 29 '22

[deleted]

295

u/KimikoBean Sep 25 '22

OSHA is made up by big safety to sell more safety

74

u/fanblade64 Sep 25 '22

Yea fuck OSHA all they ever do is make me work more

89

u/kadxar Sep 25 '22

What do you mean I have to put gloves and safety glasses on every time I work with heavy machinery that could snap my fingers like butter? This little maneuver will cost us 51 years of delay

44

u/fanblade64 Sep 25 '22

Messed up I say you know what I can do with the time when I don't put on gloves? Nothing but that's my nothing

19

u/HiDDENk00l Sep 25 '22

What do you do with the time you save not using commas?

19

u/fanblade64 Sep 25 '22

Even less 😎

5

u/nlolhere Sep 25 '22

You would save even more time not typing any words at all!

6

u/cskarthik123 Sep 25 '22

Atleast they provide you gloves we don’t get any

6

u/fanblade64 Sep 25 '22

Huzzah even the company values the seconds you save. What great people!

12

u/Tooblicker Sep 25 '22

Poorly designed safety guards are my nemesis. I had to argue for 20 minutes on why a $5 piece of plexiglass that took 10 minutes to install would save fingers and a crushed hand, while the safety director spent thousands engineering a safety gate to protect from a 2" square heating helmet that didn't cool down when I needed to access it.

9

u/CaptainMudwhistle Sep 25 '22

How hard is your butter, pal?

2

u/twisted_memories Sep 25 '22

I dunno man, I keep it in the freezer

14

u/ProfessionalMap4813 Sep 25 '22

As a health and safety technician, this cracked me up cause it's so true unironically

I just did our biannual inspection of our emergency exit signs, and found that the old technician was lying on their work orders about checking them because half of them don't work. Either the test button doesn't work, or a bulb is burnt out, etc.

I'm about to just say fuck it and leave them as is, as all the ones that do not work are in areas that have been untouched for like 40 years. I make decent money, but not enough to carry around a 12 foot ladder all by myself tinkering with old shitty signs for hours. We get audited often as we are a medical device company, and they have never said a word about them/fined us.

32

u/Le_Gentle_Sir Sep 25 '22

"Does anyone even really know what SOX is, anymore?"

16

u/qdp Sep 25 '22

Sure do. You got your Red SOX and you got your White SOX and I assume they are sports teams but don't ask me where or what they play.

5

u/MegaGrimer Sep 25 '22

Don’t forget the Black SOX!

2

u/broadened_news Sep 25 '22

NOx Rocks and SOx

30

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '22

[deleted]

15

u/Born_One5040 Sep 25 '22

You have an eyewash station? We just get those little bottles of saline to squirt in our eye if something happens, then we just hope that we don't have to use 2.

9

u/Peregrine37 Sep 25 '22

It's probably one of the shitty ones like we have, just stores the water above the nozzles and uses the natural pressure to spray, creating a sad, low pressure stream

Also the water is never replaced as often as it should be

6

u/Dry-Manufacturer-165 Sep 25 '22

Listen fam at $230 for a refill of what is essentially 1 cup of noniodized salt and 1/3 cup of baking soda per gallon. I can maybe swing popping one at expiration for a live demonstration. OR Jimmy lifts the whole rig in the fork lift, does some donuts to shake it up, and we let it ride and order pizzas for lunch. Some might settle out over time but you're talking about a minor amount of grit in the thing to wash damaging chemicals out of your eyes. You're going to the hospital and it's all covered by workman's comp anyway. In a perfect world it'd never be expired but unless it's visibly not in good order it's better than nothing. If perfectly isotonic, preserved solution was really the bare minimum requirement then plumbed emergency eyewash/showers wouldn't just connect to normal service lines.

5

u/Wafflashizzles Sep 25 '22

You'll lose your eyes, but you'll make out with a fat lawsuit at least. I like it, gives me the "please let this city-insured bus obliterate me" vibes

5

u/reddit_tard Sep 25 '22

They have to be expired first. You know like a fine wine, they get better with age.

11

u/DaftPancake Sep 25 '22

When I worked at a gas station, corporate came in to “fix” our rusty heavy fire exit door. Their fix was to bolt it shut and park a 300 pound cooler in front of it. Idk why I didn’t call OSHA on them that second.

11

u/LincolnCassiusClay47 Sep 25 '22

Oh Jesus this is the first comment I saw and got me as an accountant.

12

u/Ihatepasswords007 Sep 25 '22

Me in my new job lmao

Got like 300 small bussinesses and I'm supposed to make financial statements for all of them. I dont receive documents I need and nobody's going to audit these companies anyway so I follow the Street-AAP

8

u/coughdrop1989 Sep 25 '22

Literally every job that has ever existed since the dawn of man has said this. Caveman teaching his cave kid how to hunt... "Well I usually like to aim in between the eyes for a good clean kill, but just to show them whose boss I like to take this stick and poke his balls first to provoke him" Child: "then we eat right?" Man: "then we run like shit and get the rest of the tribe, you think two of us are taking on a saber tooth tiger?" Child: "will they help?" Man: "help? Hell they don't even know we left!"

7

u/MissBanana_ Sep 25 '22

I had a trainer at a job once tell me, “there’s a right way, a wrong way, and the way I do it.”

12

u/Dislexeeya Sep 25 '22

You just explained half my job, lol. Whenever I'm teaching a new hire I show them the technical way first, then show them how we actually do it.

13

u/suitedcloud Sep 25 '22

“Get all that? Great. That’s what you tell the suits if they ask. Here’s how we really do it.”

1

u/Lordborgman Sep 25 '22

This is exactly what I used to do when I worked as a trainer at Disney World.

1

u/ImS0hungry Sep 25 '22

Plausible deniability

3

u/Maker1357 Sep 25 '22

They asked for fast and cheap, so I just assumed they don't want quality.

1

u/FlaccidRazor Sep 25 '22

I see your "Generally Accepted Accounting Principles" and ask you to respond with the decryption of SaaS, IaaS, PaaS, and...wait for it...CHaaS.

Otherwise, maybe just FTHO with your GAAPing hole of BS, please.

103

u/RsCaptainFalcon Sep 25 '22

We're supposed to do it like this, but I've done it this lazy way instead for months/years and nobody has said anything yet.

46

u/masterxak Sep 25 '22

I've worked at my current job for 4 months. 3 people have said this to me when they are supposed to be training me.

57

u/Material-Lie-9725 Sep 25 '22

Yup, this is me... And I'm the manager. Fake it till you make it

10

u/G-H-O-S-T Sep 25 '22

This is what i tell my friends who refuse working in new places out of fear of not doing well enough.
That and i tell them that I'm 100% sure their boss isn't doing well enough and he gets a much bigger salary

45

u/neozuki Sep 25 '22

The new manager telling me that's not how it's supposed to be done after I was trained by the guy whose been there for 20 years and I just go "Oh sorry."

9

u/cycycle Sep 25 '22

Later you do it the way you know anyway.

27

u/Great-Commission-842 Sep 25 '22 edited Sep 25 '22

Somebody has to lead the clown pack

24

u/PatientTurtle Sep 25 '22

New job made me train last night and I've only been there barely two months, I felt this way too strongly haha

18

u/Spastic_Slapstick Sep 25 '22

I THINK you press this button on the POS and...whoops now I deleted all invoices from the day. Okay. New lesson. Tell the owner his computer restarted and just pray.

41

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '22

Alternate Timeline Insane Clown Posse.

9

u/Flappyboi20001 Sep 25 '22

Hello welcome to the warehouse, just make sure those lights don’t turn on, and build one solid layer to give the illusion you’ve carefully staked the boxes.

1

u/cskarthik123 Sep 25 '22

Hey im there too lol

6

u/YOBlob Sep 25 '22

George: This is the right way to do it. And this is how Steve does it; never do it this way. Anyway, this is how I do it.

Steve: This is the right way to do it. And this is how George does it; never do it this way. Anyway, this is how I do it.

1

u/Lazolilo Sep 28 '22

Josh: This is the actual way to do this. The manager already thinks of firing George and Steve because of that; never do it this way. Anyway this is how you do it.

4

u/Teamnoq Sep 25 '22

“ and they’ll cover that entire process in detail later, let me show where the bathroom and breakroom are”

3

u/666bozskykaja666 Sep 25 '22

Classical Creed moment

3

u/platonicnut Sep 25 '22

Jesus this was me two days ago lol

6

u/0erlikon Sep 25 '22

Fake it until you make it.

2

u/Master_of_reeeeee Sep 25 '22

Ok but why does pennywise’s expression kind of line up with the caption?

2

u/krannafranrandy Sep 25 '22

goddamnit this is too relatable, i don’t wanna tell anyone what to do because i wasn’t trained very well, and all I’m doing is getting by with the least amount of effort because i get paid like dogshit and it doesnt matter if i do more anyway, the workload is always fucked. so pikachu face to anyone thinking i can do more lol

2

u/MichiganBeerBruh Sep 25 '22

Greg Abbott is a little piss baby

2

u/woofmaster207 Sep 25 '22

“And just use common sense for the rest, you got this…”

2

u/abby4789 Sep 25 '22

LMAOO ME ASF😭😭

2

u/Mr_Brobot- Sep 25 '22

"I shouldn't be pushing directly to prod but we typically don't have time to follow process"

2

u/ZadeWilson Sep 25 '22

Me supervisor, to the new guy: He's gonna teach you everything he knows!

Me: Oh shit, that's not a lot

2

u/elshizzo Sep 25 '22

There is the "correct" way of doing things and then there's the "eh this way works also and its easier" ways. Sometimes the latter is just better and you know it

2

u/Maker1357 Sep 25 '22

Please let this meme take off.

2

u/cskarthik123 Sep 25 '22

When the whole workplace is a circus..

2

u/Industrialpainter89 Sep 25 '22

Oh man, r/construction would love this!

2

u/kal_drazidrim Sep 25 '22

You’re not supposed to do it this way but this is what I do…

3

u/HappyHunt1778 Sep 25 '22

Yoooo my boy got them rocket boots dawgy!

3

u/GanjaToker408 Sep 25 '22

"Fake it till you make it, and if that doesn't seem like it's going to go well, get Pookie to help you burn this mutha fucka down"

1

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '22

This is unfortunately the case at my work

3

u/Iggy_Snows Sep 25 '22

This is the case for pretty much every work force out there.

-1

u/QUIJAASD Sep 25 '22

😂😂😂🤣😃🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😅😅

1

u/EntertainedRUNot Sep 25 '22

More like me showing the new employee how to do the job I know how to do, but don't have to do anymore.

1

u/edith-bunker Sep 25 '22

The supervisor is John Wayne Gacy

1

u/fukexcuses Sep 25 '22

That guy's name at my job is Zach. ..... eventually you catch on they're full of shit.

1

u/69nicecock69 Sep 25 '22

I worked at a chipotle in high school and college, can confirm I did this. Funny thing was they did it better than me even after I was there for 6 years 😭

1

u/LilFoxay Sep 25 '22

Me when the Sonic I worked at tried to make me opener when I had only been there for a month and they only showed me what to do once.

1

u/Critical_Rock_495 Sep 25 '22

Now the Queen is DETT I just want some crack and an internal locus of control.

1

u/Toph0420 Sep 25 '22

Omg!!! This is me at my iob. 😂😂 I’m screaming!!

1

u/--NOS4A2 Sep 25 '22

Where do I apply?

1

u/HentaiLover2464 Sep 25 '22

Literally me having to train someone after working for 2 weeks

1

u/mosouth85 Sep 25 '22

This really cracked me up.

1

u/Memewalker Sep 25 '22

“And then we kill ‘em, right?”

1

u/BenchPuzzleheaded670 Sep 25 '22

I need an example

1

u/MASTER-FOOO1 Sep 25 '22

This looks like a sick rap battle waiting to happen.

Oh wait i did see it in this video

1

u/bahamapapa817 Sep 25 '22

This odd how they want you to do it……[whispering] but this is how I do it

1

u/PrintingOrigami Sep 25 '22

So true "How does ____ does ____" look man, I just work here, I don't know.

1

u/matdavlou Sep 25 '22

I like everything about this. Can someone please link the source. If not this will remind me to look it up later. Nice meme.

1

u/RoseApoth1 Sep 25 '22

You have to train them wrong for job security.

1

u/bodhasattva Sep 25 '22

100%

teaching the "company way" vs. teaching "how we actually do it"

1

u/johnnyd7474 Sep 25 '22

"You are training the newbie today" Shit, they're gonna know I've been faking it

1

u/NEATNAME69 Sep 25 '22

Then, they do it all perfectly than you in their first try

1

u/changeisgoodforonce Sep 25 '22

This made me giggle so hard.

1

u/Merry_Dankmas Sep 25 '22

"Alright, so I don't do it this way but youre supposed to do it this way"

1

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '22

I worked at Starbucks for like two months before quitting. We were very understaffed just as our manager, who was genuinely great as his job, took about a month of leave to be with his terminally ill mother. His replacement was given an untenable situation and scheduling became a nightmare for everyone. To top it off, I was woefully undertrained.

I didn't find out till after I quit (gf worked in the store still) that the lady who trained me had worked there for less time than I ended up staying. And at that point everything made sense. She hadn't failed to train me, there was just nobody who actually worked there long enough to train me who could train me, because they literally did not have the time to not keep the store afloat.

So glad I jumped ship when I did dear God that should have been as stressful as it ended up being.

1

u/ItsActuallyAleezeh Sep 25 '22

Me explaining work ethics to the interns, the ones that I follow once a week...

1

u/PippyRollingham Sep 25 '22

So here we do things by the SOP, the standard operating procedure. I’m gonna how we actually do it.

1

u/Asklepsios Sep 25 '22

This will be me Tuesday when I go back to work after my vacation. There is a new person who also works my position and I've only been working there a couple months. Will be fun

1

u/Patchiki Sep 25 '22

Literally me today.

1

u/MRX106 Sep 25 '22

Me pretending to know the directions when someone asks me how to get somewhere:

1

u/laucu Sep 25 '22

Classic ‘wellllll this is how I do it but probably not supposed to do it this way’

1

u/Fiolah Sep 25 '22

The processes at my job change so frequently that somewhere along the way I just kinda stopped paying attention.

1

u/Xx_Harry_Xx Sep 25 '22

Me when I worked at KFC. On my second day, they expected me to train a brand new worker on something I was vaguely taught 10 minutes before they started their shift.

1

u/Longjumping_Algae_45 Sep 25 '22

Joker It

It Joker

Jit

Jot

Kit

I can think of a thousand more...

1

u/Ruskyt Sep 25 '22

Alternatively

"Now, they want you to do it like this, but here's how I do it..."

1

u/JoWs_Reddit Sep 25 '22

Isn't pennywise the older one? So they're just being extra comedians

1

u/e_cloud7 Sep 25 '22

True Story(tm)

1

u/Mr_Prismatic Sep 25 '22

We just press this button to stop the beeping. No idea what it means.

1

u/Captain_Tauren Sep 25 '22

This is too funny

1

u/Embarrassed_pancake Sep 25 '22

This was me literally 3 days ago. I’ve been here for like… 3 weeks? But I’m part time and only work 2-3 days a week and they had me training someone

1

u/127Heathen127 Sep 25 '22

Me showing the new person at work how to do the tasks I hate so I can pawn them off on them.

1

u/SpaceboyRoss Sep 25 '22

When you're a programmer, you just Google most things and copy and paste code.

1

u/mte87 Sep 25 '22

At a gas station there was one lady who knew how to do everything n only taught a few people a few things. If she was off not even the store owner could fix the nacho machine lol

1

u/sara_c907 Sep 25 '22

Pennywise lookin' like he just got scolded by Grandma.

1

u/marshallxeno Sep 25 '22

The reason why I shouldn't train people.

1

u/Lazolilo Sep 28 '22

"So that's how you do it?"

"No idea and most likely no, so don't tell the boss"

1

u/Aggressive_Pack7269 Oct 10 '22

Funny Eric. What don't you know how to do?

1

u/WM-010 Oct 23 '22

Thanks for the new template OP. This is high quality right here \gen.

-4

u/ScottSpeddy Sep 25 '22

Haha because clowns

Edit: this sub is about as stupid as an infant. Fuck ALL y’all who are upvoting this garbage. What the fuck is so funny about this? Are you SERIOUS? THIS is funny to you? Oh my fucking GOD, dude

1

u/Gl1tch_s Sep 25 '22

Here sir, you dropped your /s I hope