r/pics Dec 01 '22 Silver 7 Gold 1 Helpful 11 Wholesome 7 Bravo! 2 Dread 1 'MURICA 1

Message in a car parked in San Francisco Picture of text

Post image


u/eulynn34 Dec 01 '22

Just leave the window rolled down so they don’t have to smash it

Ah shit— but then you’ll find someone sleeping in it— never mind.


u/a_black_pilgrim Dec 01 '22

signed, Dirty Mike and the Boys


u/ryanlaurenti Dec 01 '22

Your turned my beautiful Prius into a nightmare!


u/ozmocanna420 Dec 02 '22

They had what's called a soup kitchen


u/hurtsdonut_ Dec 02 '22

Not long after that, a mama raccoon came along and gave birth on the floor.

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u/A_BadNews_Bear Dec 01 '22


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u/Woodit Dec 01 '22

Had a coworker who went out to find two bums sleeping in her car, had to get it professionally cleaned bc they smoked cigarettes and fent in it.


u/TacoDirty2Me Dec 01 '22 Silver Take My Energy

Thanks for the F shack
- Dirty Mike and the boys


u/acedelgado Dec 01 '22

They call it a "Soup Kitchen"


u/Existing_Display1794 Dec 01 '22

We WILL have sex in your car again!


u/TheOnlyBrainCellLeft Dec 01 '22

It will happen!


u/Amish_guy_with_WiFi Dec 01 '22

This is probably one of my favorite scenes/jokes from a movie all time


u/FTMorando Dec 01 '22

What fucking movie is this. I’ve seen it but I can’t remember wtf it’s from lol


u/xobi Dec 01 '22

The other guys


u/turtleboxman Dec 01 '22

“Where did you learn to drive like that?”


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u/toobscreemer0891 Dec 01 '22

It WILL happen!

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u/A_Successful_Loser Dec 01 '22

Found a deer vagina


u/ShoveAndFloor Dec 01 '22

Not too long after a mama raccoon came by. Gave birth in the back seat.

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u/augustrem Dec 01 '22

Weirdest thing that happened to me was many years ago when having a book of CDs in your car was still a thing. I accidentally left the door unlocked. When I came out the next morning someone had spread out all the CDs on the ground facing up in an entire section of our building’s driveway.


u/Woodit Dec 01 '22

Publicly shaming your taste in music


u/augustrem Dec 01 '22

Even they didn’t want to play Live’s Secret Samadhi album.

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u/lvvbnuo Dec 01 '22

The original Spotify wrapped

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u/aquamarinewishes Dec 01 '22 edited Dec 01 '22

My ex left my car unlocked twice because he was a fucking tool, the first time they stole everything and that sucked but the second time they slept in my car and that felt way worse. Door ajar the next morning, windows covered in condensation from their breath, trash all over the back seat and cigarette smoke smell. Absolutely disgusting, I was so enraged and upset.

Edit to add: This happened on Vancouver Island in Canada, where homelessness, petty theft, drugs, and property crime is getting insanely out of hand too. It's highly problematic all over North America at this point. I live in the Bay Area right now and the homelessness/crime/drugs situation feels pretty much the same as it did there. Nothing is safe unless it's bolted down, and even then they have bolt cutters.


u/ShartyPants Dec 01 '22 edited Dec 01 '22

A friend of mine had her car broken into by someone looking for somewhere to smoke and he also jacked off onto the dash. Not great!

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u/Im_pattymac Dec 01 '22

Doesnt help, a buddy of mine never locks his car after the third broken window in a year... They still break the windows. He even caught in on camera the last time it happened the guy opened the door looked around for valuable stuff didnt find anything and then broke the window... Maybe he was mad?

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u/rotunda4you Dec 01 '22

Or they take a shit in it

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u/moskowizzle Dec 01 '22

My cousin lives in sf and had his window smashed a few times so he started just leaving the door unlocked and making sure nothing valuable was in there. Windows stopped getting smashed.


u/Habs1989 Dec 01 '22

Your cousin is going to come back to his car to find someone took a shit in there!

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u/Tetrylene Dec 01 '22 Silver Helpful

Thief: “Yeah I get you buddy, times are tough for all of us”

smashes window


u/Tokaido Dec 01 '22

I had a friend who did something similar to OP. After many car break-ins, he left a note saying there's nothing in the car and even left it unlocked. When the thieves returned they searched his car, and because they didn't find anything they smashed his windows and headlights.

Humans are fucked sometimes...


u/kinpsychosis Dec 01 '22

Welp. It’s my fault for expecting a wholesome ending.


u/apathetic_revolution Dec 01 '22 Silver Evil Cackle

A few weeks ago someone broke into my car to steal the change tray (I don't even know if there was any change in the tray. I don't use it. They took the tray itself). They left the multi-tool they used to remove the tray so I might have actually come out ahead. Is that wholesome enough?


u/lulzpec Dec 01 '22

Dude. Someone stole my cup holders. It was the only thing I had left in my work van. It’s a 2001 with 260k miles. They stole the van and then left it 20 miles away with no gas and no cup holders. No radio, no cruise control either. I might as well be driving a go kart now.


u/Far-Beyond-Driven Dec 01 '22

What are people doing with stolen cup holders? Is there a market to actually sell this stuff?


u/the-greenest-thumb Dec 01 '22

It's mostly to just be an asshole. Or they're on drugs, addicts do weird shit.


u/TheOneTrueChuck Dec 01 '22

It's mostly to just be an asshole.

This is exactly why. It's "fuck you for not making my crime profitable enough for me".


u/FuckTheMods5 Dec 01 '22

Imma screw this to my end-table! It'll be hilarious!

sobers up later

Why the fuck do i have plastic swoops in my house?

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u/llDurbinll Dec 01 '22

My former neighbors daughter stole other people's door mats and house plants that they'd sit outside to get some sun, she'd some how use it to barter for pills. She also stole her mom's food stamp card and buy a month's worth of groceries for her dealers family, leaving her mom with nothing.

We'd help when we could but she often was stuck eating ramen for days because of her terrible daughter that she couldn't bear to kick out and end it.

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u/redditorded Dec 01 '22

Dude I'm sorry about your car buy you've made me laugh so damn hard!

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u/Superfluous_Thom Dec 01 '22

Happened to someone in my city. Boke into the car without breaking a window (either unlocked or with the tennis ball trick), and stole his stereo. Little did they know the stereo had been broken for some time and he was having a hard time finding the tool to remove it properly. They also took the ashtray full of coins. When he woke up in the morning and found he'd been robbed, he also found in the car, a crisp $20 note. So the guy uninstalled his faulty radio for free, stole $3 worth of change, and left him $20.. that is absolutely a win.


u/Mobwmwm Dec 01 '22

I had to look up the tennis ball trick. Is this it?



u/Superfluous_Thom Dec 01 '22

Well then, maybe he just left it unlocked. Can't believe i just got cow tipped in 2022. In my defense i first heard about it in 2005 or so and just took it for granted.

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u/cucumbermoon Dec 01 '22

Someone broke into my car recently and stole my AAA card. I think they thought it was a credit card?


u/ShrapnelShock Dec 01 '22

The discounts man.


u/Rolf_Dom Dec 01 '22

The most blatant thieves are all likely junkies who can barely comprehend reality at this point. They're likely just grabbing everything that isn't nailed down and plopping it on some pawn shop's desk and asking if it's worth anything.


u/Etrigone Dec 01 '22 edited Dec 01 '22

Agreed. A friend had a bag of obviously dirty laundry in his back seat to take to the laundromat after work. Like, open, you could see the [Edit: dirty, dude was a little bit of a slob] socks and underwear. He thought it was obvious.

He worked late only to find his windows smashed and the bag taken - nothing else as it was truly a crappy (if working) car. He did find the bag emptied in a nearby alley, so I guess this thief was a tiny bit more aware than the average.

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u/grahampositive Dec 01 '22

Similarly I read a story on Reddit a while back where I guy ran off some catalytic converter thieves that were staying from his car in his own driveway, they left behind a bunch of Milwaukee battery tools like a cut off wheel and saws all. There was already some damage done but he came out ahead


u/Alpine_Apex Dec 01 '22

You never come out ahead though. The real cost of being a victim of crime is the mental anguish and lack of trust that follows, often for the rest of your life.


u/farqsbarqs Dec 01 '22

So true. Someone broke in to my car in my own driveway right in front of my house and swiped everything out of it (sunglasses, makeup case full of cosmetics and brushes, leather portfolio, shoes, handbag, etc…my fault for leaving so much of my stuff in there) and I still feel awful about it. I live on such a quiet street with mostly retirees and young families. Nothing like that had ever happened before and now I’m constantly concerned something similar will happen again. It was not a big deal but mentally it really messed with me. Such a violation.

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u/Reggie222 Dec 01 '22

Maybe they recovered the Credence?


u/ccarrngt Dec 01 '22

I'll just check with the boys down at the crime lab. They got four more detectives working on the case. They got us working in shifts!


u/DoomOne Dec 01 '22

Ha! "Leads!" Pfft ha ha ha ha!

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u/SpectralEntity Dec 01 '22 edited Dec 05 '22

Right?! Thought for sure they were going to say the thieves robbed the corner mart and threw cash in the seat to replace the window.

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u/drwebb Dec 01 '22

Kinda reminds me how my uncle gets mugged at night, hands the guy a couple $20s from his wallet (all his cash), and the punk pops a cap in his knee while walking off. My uncle was older and worked construction, so fucked his his job for like a half a year.


u/R50cent Dec 01 '22

And that's the tough reality of all of this.

Some people break the law because they have to.

Some people break the law because they want to.


u/TheBSQ Dec 01 '22 Helpful

From my decades working in and with low income neighborhoods, there’s a few types of “law breakers.”

There’s the addicts, unhoused, etc. type. They mainly steal packages, shoplift, break into cars, garages, etc. these are usually “when no one is around” type crimes.

There’s the “illegal business” type of law breakers. Drug dealers, people who sell stolen shit out of their trunk, etc. They also typically aren’t looking to harm random strangers. They’re really business people, just doing illegal businesses.

Then there’s the fuckheads who think life in “the streets” is cool, who take stuff just because that want something, or just because they can. It’s a genuine lifestyle choice where they see it as a quicker, easier, cooler, and more lucrative way to make a living than any hourly low-wage job that their skill set could get them.

There’s lots of documentaries where people interview them, and they clearly say that if they see something they want, they’ll take it. They clearly say they don’t value other people’s lives. They’ll take $20 from your wallet and shoot you in the head just to not have a witness.

It’s not that their so desperate for money that they have to mug someone. As one car-jacker in a documentary I recently watched put it, “if I can make a 10 stack in 5 minutes, why wouldn’t I?!”

And sometimes they just take cars to go joy riding. Or sometimes to use in other crimes. And these are often the same ones going around shooting their “opps,” and not as some sort of fight over drug territory as many imagine, but just cuz. Ego battles, social media disses, rivalries that date back so far no one remembers why the killings started but they can’t break the cycle of retaliatory murders.

And these are the guys that’ll hurt and kill you, and probably laugh in the process.

And increasingly, they’re young, like 14-19.

And these are the ones that result in the most fucked ip stories, like the 73 year old woman who was carjacked where her arm got stuck in the seatbelt when they toss her out of the car and they drove off dragging her until her arm severed and she bled out.


Or the ones where they shoot a dad in the face because he won’t let them take the car until he gets his baby out of the back seat.


Or the ones who shoot the college kid coming back from thanksgiving break so they can steal the stuff he’s unloading.


It’s not starving desperation. They’d just rather kill and steal because it’s quicker and easier than working, and they think it makes them cool and tough.


u/Natural-Solution-222 Dec 01 '22

My down stairs neighbors cousin outright admitted during a smoking session that he used to break into cars just to joyride. Ended up in juvenile. He's barely 19. Yeah I lock my damn doors and im always keeping an eye out

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u/so_hologramic Dec 01 '22

In NYC in the 90s we called that mugger money. You put $20 in your front pocket so you could hand it over quickly.


u/proudbakunkinman Dec 01 '22

Even better if you have a decoy wallet in case they demand the entire wallet. Just put a bit of money in it and a few fake cards.


u/DMvsPC Dec 01 '22

That's ... a great idea actually. I even have a wallet I never really use. I'm going to remember this for the next time I'm out in a city.

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u/avree Dec 01 '22

Damn, that's pretty lucky. My friend left his car unlocked in SF and someone drained their abscess into his cupholder and slept in the car overnight while doing drugs.


u/carlp222 Dec 01 '22


You didn't really have to share that, you know?

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u/PJ_GRE Dec 01 '22

The Loathsome Dung Eater

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u/Mentallyillxx Dec 01 '22

I had someone break into my car to steal a 15 year old 2GB iPod. It is basically worthless to them but was sentimental to me. People are jerks.


u/greentr33s Dec 01 '22

Those originals are actually expensive if they work lol, you'd be surprised but then again when did that happen?

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u/Cash907 Dec 01 '22

Advice I was given by a local the first time I visited Honolulu: “don’t leave anything in your car, but leave the windows rolled down and the doors unlocked. If you can’t roll down your windows, leave a couple bucks in the cup holder because if they search your car and don’t find anything they’ll probably smash your window for wasting their time.”

Mahalo and Aloha.


u/abhikavi Dec 01 '22

This feels like having to tip your burglars


u/YouGiveDovesABadName Dec 01 '22

American tipping culture is getting out of hand smh


u/Aiglos_and_Narsil Dec 01 '22

In my wife's home country its common to "tip" some guy when you park your car in certain areas, so he can watch your car and make sure nothing happens to it. It's basically a shake down, but it only amounted to like 50 cents or something so I could never get too pissed off.

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u/homo_redditorensis Dec 01 '22

This was something i found weird when i visited family in South America a few years ago. Some guy came up to us and asked for money "to watch over our car". I was like why would we need that, but my mom actually gave him some money. He said thanks and walked away. My mom then told me that if you don't give them money they smash your car or worse, and you're basically paying them to not fuck your car up. That was a massive culture shock for me.


u/Axnjaxn09 Dec 01 '22

Haha straight up extortion! I used to party in rosarito alot and there was a dude who sat in a field with a shotgun, 10 bucks and hed keep an eye on your car. Never had a problem with it

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u/setibeings Dec 01 '22

How dare you force them to burgle your car without even leaving something good for them to steal. Shame on you.

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u/Confuseasfuck Dec 01 '22

they’ll probably smash your window for wasting their time

Oh yeah, sorry, my bad for not having anything valuable to steal

Will do better next time, l promise

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u/SeriousPuppet Dec 01 '22

Damn. Kinda crazy when the criminals have the upper hand, and everyone just accepts it.

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u/adaradn Dec 01 '22

Then the second burglar comes and there's no cash in the cup holder so he breaks your windows anyway

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u/RVelts Dec 01 '22

and even left it unlocked.

This seems like a good idea until somebody starts sleeping in your car.



u/Ackables Dec 01 '22

My girlfriend left her car unlocked in the Bay Area so people would stop smashing her windows, so they stole her car instead.


u/SoulOfGuyFieri Dec 01 '22

At that point I would just not own a car.


u/Ackables Dec 01 '22

I tried that because my car had 3 windows smashed and it would cost more to fix than it was worth. The problem is that even though the Bay Area has good public transportation for a west coast metro area, it's still not good enough outside of San Francisco. You can go places, but it still makes getting groceries very difficult. Plus, someone attempted to rob me in broad daylight on a busy sidewalk in Oakland, so walking isn't even the best option if you can't make a quick getaway.

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u/ogg1e Dec 01 '22

I also heard that someone did the same thing(left the doors unlocked) and came to find homeless people sleeping in their car.

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u/dani_da_girl Dec 01 '22

This is so sad. In hawaii breakins are super common in some areas. (Lots of poor locals and rich tourists- it’s a recipe for petty theft). Leaving your car unlocked absolutely works though.

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u/SpaPeggyMeatballs Dec 01 '22

Some asshole broke into my car and couldn't get it started, and there was nothing of value. Their reaction? Steering Wheel Lock through the back of window (I forgot to lock it on the wheel that night).

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u/Cu_fola Dec 01 '22

That’s awful imagine taking your spite out on someone for not being richer than you

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u/PooPooDooDoo Dec 01 '22

shits in car


u/Caturday_Yet Dec 01 '22



u/Cheesemasterfury Dec 01 '22

Sometimes you gotta perform a Chicago sun roof in front of a mans kids, alls I’m saying

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u/0ldsql Dec 01 '22

Not our Jimmy. Couldn't be precious Jimmy

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u/Mortimer452 Dec 01 '22 Table Slap

Saul Goodman said it best, "The only way this car is worth $500 is if there is a $300 hooker in the front seat"


u/[deleted] Dec 01 '22

That character has some of the best one liners on tv. “Why is it that anytime you two want to stick your dick in a hornets nest, I have to come in for sloppy seconds!”


u/snorch Dec 01 '22

If I ever get anal polyps, I'll know what to name them.


u/FestiveSquid Dec 01 '22

If you get bit by a mosquito, you don't go gunning for the mosquito's attorney!


u/notcoolcoffee Dec 01 '22

my favorite line in the whole show lmao


u/Millwalkey88 Dec 01 '22

I wonder how many of those Bob Odenkirk wrote or even ad-libbed.

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u/NCSUGrad2012 Dec 01 '22

It always bothered me how beat up his car was. It was 5 years old during the show. How did it get that bad so fast?


u/PornoAlForno Dec 01 '22

There is quite a bit of symbolism to the cars in the BB/BCS universe.

Jimmy plays it fast and loose, he cuts corners, he steps on toes, etc. Naturally, his car bears the scars of his indiscretion.


u/Bagoomp Dec 01 '22

Then he gets the fancy Mercedes... but his mug doesn't fit.


u/Kiesa5 Dec 01 '22

and Gus Fring drives a 5 cylinder turbo volvo because he's a crazy boyracer maniac #swedehunters

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u/weagle11 Dec 01 '22 edited Dec 02 '22

My buddy used to leave a note on his windows that the doors were unlocked, feel free to look around, just don't break my windows.

People would take pennies out of his cup holders ever once in awhile

Edit since this gained traction: his window never got broken after this and the only thing stolen was pennies. He never found any evidence of anyone sleeping in his car or dirty Mike and the boys


u/jeff_the_weatherman Dec 01 '22

If you do this in sf, you might find homeless people sleeping in the car where you get back. And/or you’ll find needles and shit. No joke


u/helicotremor Dec 01 '22

Dirty Mike & the boys been holding a soup kitchen in there


u/CounterTouristsWin Dec 01 '22

Thanks for the F-Shack

-Dirty Mike and the Boys

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u/mermaidmadee96 Dec 01 '22

If you do this in Eugene, OR same thing. I have had this personally happen on multiple occasions, one very recently where someone smoked meth, pissed all over themselves and started a fire in my back seat.

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u/jesusbottomsss Dec 01 '22

“Hey look, a free place to fuck”


u/NokiaOG Dec 01 '22

My Dad was a public defender in Philadelphia in the 90’s and he did the same thing, he left a sign that said “It’s open, please dont break windows”. And this plan worked well until he figured out that almost every prostitute on his block used his backseat for clients. There was a vast supply of used condoms under his seats. He still tells the story to this day lmao.

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u/Ddraig1965 Dec 01 '22

Dirty Mike and the boys.

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u/octobertwins Dec 01 '22 Silver Helpful Narwhal Salute

I've had mine broken 5-6 times.

Once, in Detroit, my driver license was stolen and a woman got a license in my name. I'm white. The woman was black. I'm not sure how that got by the secretary of state, but I did have a police investigator working on the case.

His name was Sheady Gale. Now, I'm currently 46yo, and was 19yo at the time. So, this is a looonng time ago.

But, I will never forget this guy. He'd meet me at diners to 'discuss the case.'

He wore bright yellow suits (always with a matching hat), crocodile skin shoes, walked with a cane...

You getting the picture? Dude was smooth as butter. I can still hear his voice.

"Hello. This is detective Sheady Gale..."

Well, one day, we meet and he gives me the name and address of the woman that stole my identity. He slides it over to me, face down on a piece of paper. Tells me that she'd be arrested soon, but if I'd like to have a little street justice, he would look the other way.


It was like straight out of a crime novel.

Lucky for her, I was a 19yo pothead and not a mafiosa hitman. No street justice was ever pursued on my end. Lol.

They did arrest the lady. He left me a message on my work voicemail saying the fake license was destroyed. Never heard from him again.

Fucking Sheady Gale. Never forget that dude...


u/Hate_Manifestation Dec 01 '22

I don't care if this is fake.. I want it to be real


u/octobertwins Dec 01 '22

All true.

I'm really glad you all liked hearing about him. I could probably get together a handful of old friends that would, undoubtedly, remember his name.


u/oreo-cat- Dec 02 '22 edited Dec 02 '22

Amazingly there's a Sheady William Gale, aged 81 in MI.


u/nipzx Dec 01 '22

is this pasta?


u/clustahz Dec 01 '22

I was expecting undertaker threw mankind off hell in a cell


u/-iamai- Dec 01 '22

Checked the username half way through for this reason

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u/climaxingplatypus Dec 01 '22

Sheady Gale for president.


u/octobertwins Dec 01 '22

Bro, you completely get it.

He wasn't just tough on crime, he believed in justice.


u/El_Neck_Beard Dec 01 '22

This was better then most intros I read in books.

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u/Dirt_E_Harry Dec 01 '22 edited Dec 01 '22

"No worries. I'm just gonna take your catalytic converter." - car thief

Edit: For those who are curious: Feds Bust Nationwide Catalytic Converter Theft Ring


u/DocGengar Dec 01 '22

A coworker of mine just had her catalytic convertor stolen, so they went ahead and bought a new used car but without knowing the recent wave of Kia/Hyundai thefts. So unfortunately, her new car gets stolen and when the cops found it a couple days later, that ones catalytic conveter had been stolen as well. Crazy times.


u/ycnaveler-on Dec 01 '22

Time to buy a tank, try stealing it now punks!


u/GanderAtMyGoose Dec 01 '22

Just learn to drive stick haha. Catalytic converter will prolly still get stolen but they're not taking the car.

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u/DeepStateOperative66 Dec 01 '22

Hyundai actually has some very valuable cats for some models


u/spectral_tease Dec 01 '22

Yep. Someone cut the cat off my moms Tucson while she was at work. In broad daylight.


u/ChaseObserves Dec 01 '22

I work at a big tech company, big parking lot with hundreds of cars. Someone posted in one of the main Slack channels a video of him running up on two guys who were just finishing up sawing off the cat on a car in our lot, broad daylight. In the video he’s like “what are you doing?!” and they’re like “go go go!” they jumped in their getaway car and sped off, leaving behind a really nice car jack that they were using to lift the car. His slack message said “if you drive this Prius, your catalytic converter just got stolen” and it turned it out it was my direct coworker, like one of the dudes I work with/meet with every single day. Was such a bummer for him.


u/Nulaak Dec 01 '22

Had mine stolen multiple times in broad daylight in a nice area when I used to work in a call center. I'm glad I'll never have to drive another Chevy Cavalier, apparently those are really easy to steal cats off.

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u/Mandinga63 Dec 01 '22

My husband works for DHS and his office building has pretty high security and cameras everywhere. They hit 5 cars in the parking lot during the work day without being caught. Sneaky fuckers they are


u/notmadatkate Dec 01 '22

If the department of homeland security can't even catch thiefs on their own turf, my local PD has no chance lol

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u/strawcat Dec 01 '22

A ring of thieves hit several cars at one of our high schools a few months ago during school hours. At least the idiots were stupid enough to come back the next day and there were cops waiting for them and they got caught.

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u/rarestakesando Dec 01 '22

That one hurts.


u/Galkura Dec 01 '22

Some dudes were about to try and steal one from my brother’s truck, that he just got a year or so ago.

They are extremely lucky his wife was there. They got a ring notification at like 2am and he saw them out there, about to start their shit. He had his gun ready to go blasting, when his wife convinced him to just activate the car alarm instead, which scared them off.

I really don’t get these sorts of people. Why steal from people who are in the same social class? Like, fuck. I wouldn’t have felt bad at all if my brother did get to them, because these types of people fuck over other poor people so bad.

Sorry for the rant, this reminded me of that situation the other day.


u/Wormtape21 Dec 01 '22

There is nothing more going through their head than “I need money . If I steal item A from person B I can get money.”

Item A and person B can be interchangeable with anything, it makes no difference to a thief. As long as they get what they need, the ends justify the means.


u/Chummers5 Dec 01 '22

Low risk, high reward. A 5-10 minute job (with the right tools) to get between $50 and a few hundred dollars (and then you buy the right tools). Cops in my area don't do anything so it's an infinite money hack.

The cops even warned people not to be vigilant against the crooks because they might have a lookout, but I think it's the police not wanting to come out.


u/Forest-Ferda-Trees Dec 01 '22

If police wanted to stop catalytic converter theft they would go after the people buying them, but I never see anything about them going after recycling centers or whatever

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u/stormelemental13 Dec 01 '22 edited Dec 01 '22

Why steal from people who are in the same social class?

That's what thieves and other criminals usually do. They go after the easiest targets, those around them and those with the least amount of power.

People like romanticizing thieves, but if you've ever interacted with some you realized they're just selfish dicks.


u/spingus Dec 01 '22

Read an interview with a bike thief (years ago). He stole bikes on a college campus. He justification was "Daddy will just buy them another one"...as if every student who goes to college has money beyond their basic needs. >.<


u/holy_shitballs Dec 01 '22

Someone stole my 8 year old kids birthday bike out of the garage, cars all home, us inside. I didn't get another bike for two years.

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u/Schneider99 Dec 01 '22

My parents showed me a Ring video from the other night of some guys in the process of stealing one. They then dropped the bombshell that it was my neighbor’s Ring camera and it was his work truck being stolen from. The video showed him shouting at the guys and one of them clearly said “just shoot him.” Thankfully that didn’t happen but they got away with the part.

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u/Simmery Dec 01 '22

why steal from people who are in the same social class?

Uh, are you expecting these people to be carefully considering their moral positions? Going after rich people is harder. The police would actually show up.


u/KarmaticEvolution Dec 01 '22

And much more barriers to entry living in gated communities and ones that would be suspicious of lower value vehicles.

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u/johnny_mcd Dec 01 '22

Roll down your window and sprinkle glass on the street and on your seat so they think someone got there first


u/[deleted] Dec 01 '22

That’s how your car becomes the homeless gang bang site


u/TheKillingSmiley Dec 01 '22

Dirty Mike and the boys are a coming.

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u/dolphin37 Dec 01 '22

finally, been carrying these glass fragments around for ages with no way to use them

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u/UraniumSpoon Dec 01 '22

This is San Francisco, you don't need to sprinkle glass on the street because it's already there!


u/milfordcubicle Dec 01 '22 Silver

Here on my side of the bay we call that "Oakland Confetti"!


u/hanspite Dec 01 '22

We call it "San Francisco Glitter", and yes, it's everywhere

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u/Chemistry_Lover40 Dec 01 '22

Thieves hate this one simple trick

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u/Spork_Warrior Dec 01 '22

I've my car broken into exactly two times. Once in Washington DC and once in San Francisco.

The SF police wouldn't even take a report.


u/thissideofheat Dec 01 '22

I've had my car broken into 5 times over 20 years. I lived in SF for ONE YEAR, and that accounts for ALL FIVE breakins.

They even slashed my soft top windows on my jeep even though the doors were unlocked.

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u/snedman Dec 01 '22

Well that's one way to reduce crime in an area -- just don't take any reports of them. Then when stats come out you can say it's way down.

Sort of like if you don't test for covid then you'll have less covid cases.

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u/mechanab Dec 01 '22

The window will probably get broken out of spite.


u/loupdewallstreet Dec 01 '22

On certain streets they don’t even look they just go down the street and break every window. Lived in Soma for 2 years ironically just a few blocks from the police station and had my window broken twice. Didn’t steal anything either time.

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u/Bremen1 Dec 01 '22 edited Dec 01 '22

I dunno, that seems like the kind of message someone with gold bullion in the glove compartment would leave to try to fake people out.


u/blue-mooner Dec 01 '22

Gold bullion, the loose change of Hyundai Sonata owners.


u/quaybored Dec 01 '22

I have a Toyota, I keep bouillon in the car in case i need to make soup in a hurry

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u/BBorNot Dec 01 '22 Silver

I dunno -- breaking the window would risk coming into contact with all the hair and whatever the fuck else is stuck on that tape.

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u/[deleted] Dec 01 '22 edited Dec 30 '22



u/jjjakey Dec 01 '22

You think that's crazy but actually some people in SF that just leave their windows down so they don't get smashed


u/Significant_Farm4771 Dec 01 '22

I just clean it every time. Everything in the glove box and center console, you look in there and see nothing but car.

Couple months ago I actually saw a black dodge charger roll up at the Fisherman's Wharf 7/11 and three dudes in all black clothes, full masks and glasses, all piled out and looked in cars, smashed and grabbed. They hit the right side of the block and smashed two windows, did a U-turn and hit two more on the other side, all while being chased by city workers that just happened to be there. Total break in time for a block was 30 seconds.

It was 11am, bright out. They're professionals.

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u/lynivvinyl Dec 01 '22

"I want that note really badly!"


u/BehindTrenches Dec 01 '22

breaks window “next time leave something of value”


u/Cflow26 Dec 01 '22

breaks window and leaves note “sorry you’re going through tough times big fella, keep your head up”

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u/garry4321 Dec 01 '22

Like meth heads are going to read anything.

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u/Jaydh10 Dec 01 '22

Should I open a window repair shop in SF? Seems like good business.


u/confusingbrownstate Dec 01 '22

Based on other comments it sounds like breaking windows is just a hobby for some because they know cops won't investigate it. I'd bet at least one of the jerks breaking windows owns a window repair shop.


u/roygbivasaur Dec 01 '22

Hey! A counter example to the Broken Window Fallacy!


u/driving_andflying Dec 01 '22

Between 2020 and 2021, car break-ins in downtown SF spiked 753%. So yeah, going into business doing car window repairs in SF is a sure money maker.

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u/Sines314 Dec 01 '22

As long as you don’t have a window display yourself.

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u/O-hmmm Dec 01 '22

I quit locking my door because the cost of replacing the window was more than anything of value inside.


u/McNobby Dec 01 '22

I do the same with my work van to save the ballache of having to get a replacement after someone rips the doors off in hopes of finding a stash of tools.

Only things I keep in my van are a pair of sweaty work boots and a cheap hard hat.

Both were stolen a few months ago.


u/0ut0fBoundsException Dec 01 '22

I have a sweaty boot fetish and I use the hard hat as bowl. Times are tough sorry homie. Also thanks for the F Shack


u/stunafish Dec 01 '22

That you, Dirty Mike?

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u/fullpaydeuces Dec 01 '22

A friend tried this. Someone spent a night or some time in his car and smoked in it.

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u/andywright10 Dec 01 '22

Parked my car in SF for one night last spring. Nothing of value inside. Still got broken into, apparently because I had out of state plates. Because of supply and demand there are tons of window repair specialists in the Bay area that will drive to you within an hour and fix it for $100.


u/Magenta_the_Great Dec 01 '22

I was so nervous parking SF with Idaho plates, found a parking lot with a security guard and a resident homeless man. They let him live in the lot and in return it was like his “territory” and people wouldn’t fuck with the cars.


u/TATA456alawaife Dec 01 '22

I guess that’s better than nothing?


u/Magenta_the_Great Dec 01 '22

I left it parked for three days and nothing happened


u/Suitable_Top_3701 Dec 01 '22

Local homeless man doing more for the community than the police.

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u/scotthan Dec 01 '22

I haven't been to the Bay area in a while ... is it really this bad right now? Seems some people in the threads are commenting on homeless, but I've heard it's professional thieves? .... they have streamlined the process of the smash and grab?

If I left my car parked on the street for a week, would it be 100% broken into? Or even simply overnight?


u/Timesmyth Dec 01 '22 edited Dec 02 '22

Auto theft and vandalism nation-wide have skyrocketed, and California is one of the top 3 right now, I think.

I think whether or not your car gets broken into depends on a variety of factors -- visibility, make/manufacture, and nearby traffic being some -- but a whole week is a pretty long time; not only would I be worried about a break-in, but also a ticket, a boot, or impound because a lot of cities have laws about how long a car can stay in one place on a public road.


u/softweyr Dec 01 '22

I live in San Diego County. When we live in SD itself, breakins were common. If your car gets stolen here it will likely be over the border before you realize it’s gone, but they’re only looking for cars with high value. The irritating part is when your wife leaves a purse she has abandoned on the floor and they break a $300 window to steal her garbage.

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u/PieQueenIfYouPls Dec 01 '22

I live in SF for 10 years. I’ve never had my car broken into. We have a 14 year old car with lots of dings and dents that we never fix. I strongly believe that is key. Our car is shitty. We did get our catalytic converter stolen on our old Prius.

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u/DABOSSROSS9 Dec 01 '22

I thought I have been hearing SF is not as bad as people make it. But reading other people post this seems super common.


u/securitywyrm Dec 01 '22

The people citing "Well STATISTICALLY crime is down..." neglect that the police can and will straight-up REFUSE to take a report, which of course leads to 'statistically' the crime never happened.

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u/KernIrregular Dec 01 '22

It’s no a new phenomenon. Over 20 years ago I was nearly arrested in San Francisco for “assaulting” a homeless man. The fact that he was caught using a screwdriver to force open the rear window of my pickup and tried to stab me with that same screwdriver was never taken into consideration. He was taken away in an ambulance and I was handcuffed for over an hour while dozens of witnesses supported my statement. It’s a very surreal place


u/ReubenXXL Dec 01 '22

They're at a huge advantage because they can only gain in that situation, while you can only lose. The hobo robbing your car stands to gain your property if not caught, and stands to improve their material conditions if caught by spending some time in jail.

Even if they burn your car down, they have no assets or income you could even go after to make things right. There's no cost to them for the terrible things they do. The community of hobos will not disavow this and "cancel" the person committing the crimes.

You, on the other hand, have a stake in the game. You have a job that you could lose, a record that could be dirtied, etc. Getting arrested instantly makes your life worse. If you defend your property, you can only lose, while the hobo can only gain.

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u/socksta Dec 01 '22

I live in Houston they go through my car at least twice a week. I leave everything unlocked with the glove box and center console open. They cut my seats open and recently ripped the interior of my door off. They also took a subwoofer…can’t imagine what that goes for stock custom made for my truck without any of the other electronics.


u/TroXMas Dec 01 '22

Damn, you guys are really living in the trenches out here. If it was that bad where i live, I would do everything in my power to leave.

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u/xkris10ski Dec 01 '22

In Austin, same shit. I live in a gated garage and they just break the glass lobby door down and come on in. Fun story: When I first moved to this place and was super naive, I locked my bikes in the garage. It’s gated right?! Well they stole my bikes, one of them being a lime green beach cruiser. Two days later I drive a 1/2 mile down the road under the 35 overpass, low and behold I see my bike next to their tents. I drive up on the sidewalk and steal my bike back. All I got was a “I didn’t steal your bike bitch”. Mkay. I felt vindicated. Fuckers.

They hoard piles of shit. I speculate that they just use stolen garbage as trade for drugs.


u/exccord Dec 01 '22

In Austin, same shit. I live in a gated garage and they just break the glass lobby door down and come on in. Fun story: When I first moved to this place and was super naive, I locked my bikes in the garage. It’s gated right?! Well they stole my bikes, one of them being a lime green beach cruiser.

Dude....gates mean fuck all. I had my bike locked up in a parking lot the PD uses. I watched the security footage and the guy hopped our compound, took my bike and rode around for a good 15-20min and the fucking police let him go with my bike. Took me a month but me and a few friends tracked him and jumped him for my bike. I didnt even get a sorry or acknowledgement for their stupidity. This fucker was waltzing around in a parking lot with police cruisers ffs.


u/xkris10ski Dec 01 '22

I’m afraid I’m gonna do something dumb and get myself fucked up one day. This makes my blood boil. Last week I caught a mf in my garage rifling through a neighbors car. I asked him if he lived in the building and what number. He gave me a number that doesn’t exist, told him to beat it, and he left. I’m a 5’3 chick, and it was 1am, but I wanted to rip his fucking face off.


u/Luchadorgreen Dec 01 '22

You should arm yourself with pepper spray or something at least before you confront someone like that again. And then video record them.

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u/HeyR Dec 01 '22

My complex in North Campus used to have various parts of bikes chained to the rack after being stripped. Basically bikes were only ever safe around campus if they were in your bedroom. I’m sure it hasn’t changed

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u/Jaded_Panda5074 Dec 01 '22

I visited there in a few years ago and had my bag taken from a friends car after they broke the window. The only thing I had in my bag was my toiletries and my antipsychotic medication. This happened at around 10pm on a Friday so I couldn’t get new emergency prescriptions from my doctor.

I had to go to the emergency room, where they could only give me one day’s supply. So, I had to go to the ER 3 times to make sure I wouldn’t end up having a complete breakdown that weekend. One of the more harrowing MH panic situations I’ve had. Luckily I had A+ insurance, so nothing out of pocket.

Still, an enormous waste of medical resources. If the perpetrator took my meds, they probably had to visit the ER too. More likely they ended up in a trash can.

(I’m doing great now. Med-free and thriving)

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u/-Cheeki-Breeki- Dec 01 '22

Exactly what someone hiding valuable hobo treasures would say

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u/esly4ever Dec 01 '22

breaks in to steal note


u/Jk2two Dec 01 '22

Yeah, appeal to the car thief’s sense of decency. Good move.

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u/mtsai Dec 01 '22

plot twist, its the window repairman.

this post written by m. night Shyamalan.

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u/suan213 Dec 01 '22

I'll take "shit that thieves don't care about" for 1000


u/somewhereinks Dec 01 '22

On a serious note, I work in a very specialized field and won't even go to SF for service calls. I have had numerous attempted break-ins in the past and I can't afford losing thousands of dollars in tools so someone can trade them for 30 dollars in crack.


u/YesterdayBeautiful14 Dec 01 '22

Had someone break my car window, they stole my bowling balls and shoes, then discarded them on the side of the street a few blocks down all scattered about. That shit was worth 700 dollars. Morons.