r/politics Aug 17 '22 Helpful (Pro) 1 Evil Cackle 2 Wholesome 3 hehehehe 1 Table Slap 2 Helpful 7 Bravo Grande! 1 Silver 5 Pranked! 1 All-Seeing Upvote 2 Spit-take 1

“Everyone's saying no”: Trump hires Florida insurance lawyer as top attorneys refuse to work for him

https://www.salon.com/2022/08/17/everyones-saying-no-hires-florida-insurance-lawyer-as-top-attorneys-refuse-to-work-for-him/
53.5k Upvotes

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5.8k

u/MyNameIsRay Aug 17 '22 Gold Helpful Wholesome All-Seeing Upvote Table Slap

His Legal A-team includes:

-The former OAN anchor that got them a $1.6B defamation lawsuit from Dominion, and is currently a defendant in that ongoing case.

-A FL Insurance lawyer that hasn't ever handled a federal case

-Former general counsel to a NJ parking garage company, who was involved in filing all those defamation lawsuits that Trump lost.

-That guy that lost Steve Bannon's case with the DOJ

-That guy who sent a letter to CNN threatening a defamation lawsuit for calling out Trump's lies, but never followed through, because CNN was correct in calling them lies.

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u/parallax_universe Aug 17 '22 edited Aug 17 '22

Is the parking garage defamation lawyer the same one that filed against Hilary? If not then that person can be added to the crack team. My understanding is that they were hanging around Mar a Lago while fatboy was whining about his persecution complex so they helped him sue for being butthurt (essentially).

Edit: It was Bedminster

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u/MyNameIsRay Aug 17 '22

Is the parking garage defamation lawyer the same one that filed against Hilary?

Yes, it is, Alina Habba.

My understanding is that they were hanging around Mar a Lago while fatboy was whining about his persecution complex so they helped him sue for being butthurt (essentially).

I believe it was his Bedminster club rather than Mar a Lago, her practice is just a few miles down the street.

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u/parallax_universe Aug 17 '22

Thanks yeah got the compounds mixed up.

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u/commit10 Aug 17 '22

I saw his three "hot" female attorneys today, looked them up and was shocked at how unqualified they were for this sory of federal case. Immediately thought "this pervert is going to fuck himself in public, and his underdeveloped dick will be his downfall."

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u/Beneathaclearbluesky Aug 17 '22

A halfway intelligent person when faced with espionage charges shuts the fuck up.

Today is like the first day a new excuse hasn't come out.

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u/LuminousTights Canada Aug 17 '22

"Day's not over, yet."

Curly.

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u/FiFiLB Aug 17 '22

Surprised Mike Lindell isn’t listed 🙃

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u/MyNameIsRay Aug 17 '22 All-Seeing Upvote

Mr. Pillow is in over his head with his own legal battles.

He's currently facing like billions of dollars worth of defamation lawsuits from Smartmatic and Dominion, which he'll likely lose.

Because he has no defense, he decided to turn around and sue both of them for defaming him.

Judge considered his suit so frivolous that they dismissed his case, sanctioned him, and ordered him to pay Dominion/Smartmatic's legal fees.

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u/FiFiLB Aug 17 '22

Yeah I saw one of his commercials lately and he mentions how they’re coming after him and his freedom. I was like give me a friggin break. And this was on Bravo Network. WTH is the My Pillow guy airing commercial time on Bravo Network. SMH.

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u/trail-g62Bim Aug 17 '22

All of my knowledge of bravo is that they have (used to have?) the queer eye show, so that does seem like an interesting combo.

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u/foxyfoo Aug 17 '22 Gold Wholesome All-Seeing Upvote Starry

I said you need a crack legal team, not a legal team on crack!

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u/poop_scallions Aug 17 '22

Trump's other Florida-based lawyer is Lindsey Halligan, a Florida insurance lawyer that handles residential and commercial claims but has never handled a federal case.

Trump's going up against the DOJ with a lawyer whose never been involved with a federal case. Thats gonna be a rough ride.

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u/superdago Wisconsin Aug 17 '22

Not even no federal experience, but isn't even a criminal attorney*. I just looked her up and she does insurance defense. She's a slip and fall attorney! And, I shit you not, is a member of the young lawyers section of the Florida Bar... she graduated the same year as me! And I got nervous when a bankruptcy judge was yelling at the attorney I pro hac admitted to serve as lead counsel. My only job was to exist, and I was sweating.

*as in an attorney who practices criminal law, I Have no doubt that if not currently, she will soon be a criminal attorney.

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u/ClaytonRumley Canada Aug 17 '22 Silver Helpful All-Seeing Upvote Vibing

I would love to see those ads!

"Slip and fall injury?

Hurt in a car accident?

Accused of stealing nuclear secrets for the purpose of espionage?

I'll fight for you and get you the BIG CASH SETTLEMENT you deserve!"

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u/No1Mystery Aug 17 '22 All-Seeing Upvote

I’m the Florida Handler

I handle YOUR case!

18 Wheeler fucked you? I Handle YOUR case.

Worker’s Comp? I handle YOUR case!

Stole TOP SECRET documents from the White House? Booyyy, am I the lawyer for YOU!!

Call me at 1800-Hooligan

*and yes, that’s how you say my last name!

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u/MarlinMr Norway Aug 17 '22

If she wins the case, she will get a reputation as the best lawyer ever.

If she loses, she will be the lawyer that brought down a former President and saved democracy.

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u/LittleYelloDifferent Aug 17 '22

“no, we need a Criminal…Attorney “

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u/Cobaltjedi117 Michigan Aug 17 '22

Sometimes you need a criminal lawyer

Sometimes you need a criminal lawyer

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u/Illier1 Aug 17 '22

Unfortunately Slippin' Jimmy is no longer in the market.

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u/kaigem Aug 17 '22

slip and fall attorney

So he’s just hired Slippin’ Jimmy. Seems about right.

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u/Matt463789 Aug 17 '22

Jimmy was actually a pretty good lawyer though.

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u/stashtv Aug 17 '22

The attorney's plans are pretty simple:

  • Delay, delay, delay.
  • Motions to dismiss, for "reasons".
  • Fighting evidence at every step.
  • Prevent any and all forms of testimony, under oath.

IF an actual court date occurs, there will be a different legal team. The first set of attorney's are nothing but cannon fodder.

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u/GodOfDarkLaughter Aug 17 '22

You forgot the last step:

  • Never get paid

You'd think people would learn, but my uncle did some contracting work for Trump and never got paid. Then he voted for him. Jesus. Like, the guy fucked you over, personally.

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u/C19sDeadCatBounce Aug 17 '22

And then he will lose and cry foul "I had a shitty lawyer gimme a do over" and because we live in hell he will get it continuing to drag this out until his death which will be ruled an assassination by all his moron supporters.

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u/NicklAAAAs Aug 17 '22

Isn’t this (to an extent) the strategy that ended with Alex Jones being represented by a guy who sent his entire phone to opposing counsel and didn’t mark it as privileged?

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u/ashok36 Aug 17 '22

At least Jone's attorney had the forethought to ask on redirect, basically, "Am I good lawyers? Are you happy with my performance as your lawyer?"

Covering your ass while your client is under oath and when answering no would be admitting to withholding evidence from discovery. Incredibly unethical and it may cost Reynal his license but at least he'll be able to fend off any suit Jones might have against him for malpractice.

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u/Tulol Aug 17 '22

Holy hell. I hope she sends us all his text for the last 2 years.

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u/2cheeseburgerandamic Aug 17 '22

I saw a movie about this I think was a documentary about a new Lawyer from the Bronx who helped his nephew win a big case in the south I think it was a murder charge, but still. Miracles do happen and inexperienced lawyers can pull off the W.

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u/SuperstitiousPigeon5 Aug 17 '22

No utes are involved in this though.

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u/mysteryteam US Virgin Islands Aug 17 '22

Did it have marisa tomei??

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u/SuperstitiousPigeon5 Aug 17 '22

Shouldn't everything?

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u/mysteryteam US Virgin Islands Aug 17 '22

Of course. But the woman only has so much time in a day.

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u/FortySixAndYou America Aug 17 '22 Starry

Trump's other attorney in the documents investigation is Alina Habba, who has a small practice near Trump's Bedminster, N.J., golf club. She previously worked as general counsel at a parking garage company.

That's what happens when you have a record of not paying legal bills.

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u/MaximumEffort433 Maryland Aug 17 '22

That's what happens when you have a record of not paying legal bills.

I remember reading an article back in 2016 stating that Trump's lawyers from his "businessman" days got into the habit of recording all of their in-person and phone conversations with him. Donald Trump (to nobody's surprise in 2022) would tell one of this lawyers one thing, then tell the other lawyer something completely different, he would make promises that he never kept, go back on his word, claim that he'd never agreed to the things he agreed to, and so his lawyers just started keeping a record of everything he said to them in order that they could point to:

"Hey, you said here, on November 23rd at 3:35pm, minute number 142 on the tape recording, that you would do such and such, then you did so and so instead, what's up with that?"

By all accounts that I've heard the problem isn't just that Trump stiffs his employees for their bills, though that's definitely a thing, it's also that he's just a massive pain in the ass to try to work for.

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u/UnitaryWarringtonCat Aug 17 '22

It's in the article linked, they say that during the Mueller investigation, his lawyers told him not to tweet about it. Before they got to the end of the WH driveway, he tweeted about it.

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u/Few_Acanthocephala30 Aug 17 '22

Truly a grown toddler. Tell ‘em not to do something and in all likely hood it’s the first thing they do when you take your eyes off ‘em

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u/josiahpapaya Aug 17 '22

Reminds me of when I was 18 and asked my mom what she thought about me getting a tattoo and she said nothing just kept walking. I repeated myself and she said “I heard you” And chanted the subject. I asked her a third time and she said, “If I tell you not to get one that’s the first thing you’ll do, so what do you think about chicken for dinner?”

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u/miparasito Aug 17 '22

So did you get the tattoo?

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u/WeagleWobble Aug 17 '22 edited Aug 17 '22 Take My Energy GOAT

New rule idea: every presidential candidate should be required to participate in the Marshmallow Test. Since these are adults, scoring should be modified so that whining about not being able to eat the marshmallow and/or repeatedly touching the marshmallow would also be considered as failures. A full, unedited video recording of them completing the test should be a required submission item in order to file as a candidate, and an inability to pass the Marshmallow Test at the adult-modified scoring standard should be considered disqualifying for office. If a grown ass adult can't pass a test of self-regulation that was created for literal toddlers, they have no business being commander-in-chief of an elementary school lunch line, let alone a whole country.

ETA: Y'all really took this seriously, and I love that about you. Never change. I'll answer the most FAQ regarding individuals who only want one marshmallow or don't want marshmallows at all by extending and applying the "no whining" rule. Repeatedly asserting that you don't even like marshmallows will be viewed the same as whining about not being able to eat the marshmallow, as it's basically the same petulant behavior applied to a different personal preference. Stating that one marshmallow is all you wanted anyway will not be grounds for disqualification, but will impact your image as a candidate if you just keep repeating yourself and rambling about your marshmallow appetite to an empty room (I mean do you really want to be the "Jeb Bush" candidate?). Quiet, personal preferences that you think to yourself will, of course, not be scored.

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u/funktopus Ohio Aug 17 '22

That's not fair, the marshmallow is RIGHT THERE! I mean it's literally right in front of you! Why can't I eat and still get another one. I'm and adult damnit, give me more marshmallows!!!!

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u/ComradeCheeto Aug 17 '22

I get two marshmallows, the steward is instructed to give everyone else only one. -- Donnie Two-Scoops

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u/jDub549 Aug 17 '22

Holy fuck. I forgot this was a thing. Wtf timeline are we even living in 😭

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u/freakincampers Florida Aug 17 '22

I saw a video where Fox News complained about Biden getting two scoops at an ice cream shop.

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u/WeagleWobble Aug 17 '22

Presidential candidate funktopus did NOT fail the Marshmallow Test, the Marshmallow Test failed funktopus and all real Americans! The candidate was simply demonstrating their First Amendment right to free speech and protest by pointing out the COMMUNIST, SOCIALIST unfair practices of the Marshmallow Test Thought Police, who take marshmallows away from good, hardworking Americans to give to Satanic, atheist transgender liberal librarians on welfare.

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u/funktopus Ohio Aug 17 '22

Dang, I got a Speechwriter already!

Wait I'm blaming who now?!

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u/NSFWdw Aug 17 '22

I've always wondered. What if you don't want a second marshmallow? I mean, fuck trump, but maybe the kid who says "yeah, I'm good with one" is the employee I want.

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u/ChemicalBliss Aug 17 '22

I will vote for the child who saves his second marshmallow to share with a friend

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u/Carbonatite Colorado Aug 17 '22 All-Seeing Upvote

He reminds me of my dog. He is very stubborn, as is the custom for his breed. He could be waddling over towards the most tempting of squirrels, but if you put any pressure on his leash whatsoever, he will resist, even when the pressure moves him towards the squirrel. He is just genetically prone to being stubborn, it's an integral part of his temperament.

It's just a natural instict to resist. Trump is incapable of doing what he is told, because that would mean someone knows better than him. So he resists, out of pure fucking spite, even if the advice he's asked to follow is obviously beneficial to him.

Now I have to apologize to my dachshund for comparing him to Donald Trump.

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u/Hour-Island Aug 17 '22

You pretty much just described every hard-core republican I know.

I couldn't live like that, personally. Seems exhausting staying that angry.

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u/Carbonatite Colorado Aug 17 '22

At least I have veto power over my dog. If he gets too stubborn I can just pick him up and carry him to where I want to go.

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u/i-dontlikeyou Aug 17 '22

This man has never seen any consequences and has a mob mentality and unfortunately that has worked for him over the years and he is never gonna change. I am sure he thought he is untouchable when he became president, little did he know how much will it back fire in his face. He was doing his shit behind the scenes for years but now when he is in the public eye that is not gonna work at least we all hope so because its been working for the past 6 years for him but hope is still there

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u/0thethethe0 United Kingdom Aug 17 '22

I'm honestly shocked he hasn't decided to just represent himself.

You know he thinks he's smarter than all the lawyers anyway.

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u/JBloodthorn Michigan Aug 17 '22

That would be work, though. He doesn't do that.

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u/case31 Aug 17 '22

Straight from the narcissist’s playbook. They have no problem lying to your face because nothing about you is of any concern to them. Their only view of others is “What can you do for me?” Once it has been determined that you won’t risk everything to do their bidding, you are ghosted without hesitation.
This parking garage lawyer is about to find out the hard way.

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u/invokin Aug 17 '22

I don't remember seeing anything about recording (though it wouldn't surprise me!), but I definitely read that his lawyers (again, pre-POTUS time) would always have two people in the room so they could be witnesses for each other and back each other up on what he did/didn't say. When your own lawyers don't want to be in the room alone with you, that's a bad sign!

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u/PoppinKREAM Canada Aug 17 '22

In the span of 6 years he's gone from having some of the country's top legal experts to hiring lawyers with no federal legal experience lol.

This could turn into Alex Jones levels of hilarity, fingers crossed 🤞

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u/MaximumEffort433 Maryland Aug 17 '22

Dude, if we ever chose to write an effort post listing Donald Trump's legal woes, do you know how long it would be? Screw the comment character limit, we'd end up burning the entire reddit character limit.

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u/WalkWhistle Aug 17 '22

There's a whole Wikipedia page. 3500+ legal cases and still counting

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u/wynnduffyisking Aug 17 '22

Next thing they will accidentally send a copy of his phone to the FBI 😅

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u/Pokemasterinthemake Aug 17 '22

I honestly feel that ‘no capable lawyer wanting to represent you’ makes a good argument you’re not on the right side of justice

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u/TokingMessiah Aug 17 '22

This can’t be overstated. High profile attorneys tend to take big cars that are in the spotlight because of the attention alone.

Imagine being one of the most famous people on the entire planet, and no one wants to represent you.

People have talked about him being a bad client and not paying his bills, but there’s another possibility: no one wants to take a case if they don’t think there’s any possibility of winning it.

Having a high profile client only works if you get them off. If you know they’ll wind up guilty there’s no point in attaching your name to it.

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u/Scolipass Aug 17 '22

Nah, attorneys take unwinnable cases all the time, especially for high profile clients. Most of them leave with their reputations intact or even bolstered for having done so.

The issue with representing Trump isn't simply that he's in a legally perilous situation. The issue with representing Trump is that 1. there's a good chance he's going to try and stiff you and 2. He often takes actions that not only increases his own legal liability, but also exposes his lawyers to legal liability.

Taking on a losing case is one thing, taking on a losing case while also not getting paid and facing real risks of legal exposure is another thing entirely.

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u/Scubasteve1974 Aug 17 '22

I wonder if Rudy did that. He did say he had "insurance" if Trump tried to stiff him.

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u/bisho Aug 17 '22

They have heaps of stuff on each other going back to his mayor of NY days with Trumps bribes.

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u/IntelligentExcuse5 Aug 17 '22

Well Rudy's company is called "Fraud Guarantee" Ltd.

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u/parallax_universe Aug 17 '22

That was Rudy’s mates, Parnas and Fruman who had fraud guarantee

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u/Osyrys I voted Aug 17 '22

Is he guaranteeing there will be fraud?

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u/coolcool23 Aug 17 '22

it's also that he's just a massive pain in the ass to try to work for.

Oh really huh I didn't get that at all from him after the last 6 years.

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u/BiggsIDarklighter Aug 17 '22

Those tapes are probably full of juicy illegal business dealings. Wonder if those lawyers kept them.

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u/Adezar Aug 17 '22

He was already a joke in the 90s and considered a horrible/failed businessman.

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u/checker280 Aug 17 '22 edited Aug 17 '22

A trump never pays their debts.

It’s crazy. I know of dozens of cases where people took a chance to work for him where trump simply refused to pay the negotiated price.

A friend had a small window installation company. They heard all the rumors but kept insisting that even if they only received half the negotiated price, it would have been the biggest contract they ever had.

During the final walkthrough they had issues with everything (wrong size, wrong placement, etc) despite having written proof that everything was correct. Worse, it got tied up in court.

They eventually did get paid at least half what was promised but it was years later after several lean years. His family still voted for trump.

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u/Faultylogic83 Arizona Aug 17 '22

They eventually did get paid at least half what was promised but it was years later after several lean years. His family still voted for trump.

I hate that the most unbelievable part should be that they still voted for Trump, but sadly that world doesn't exist.

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u/checker280 Aug 17 '22

I spoke with them about it and their answer is always something along the lines of “trump screwed over my kid and made his life extra hard for several years. I guess my kid isn’t cut out for business.”

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u/magoo_d_oz Foreign Aug 17 '22

they clearly view trump's way of doing business as normal

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u/TranquilSeaOtter Aug 17 '22

I know someone who got scammed by Trump with Trump University. They still voted for him. I just don't understand how stupid these people are.

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u/gunboatdiplomacy Aug 17 '22

Maybe stupid enough to go to Trump University in the first place?

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u/selflessGene Aug 17 '22

A lot of them would still vote for him if he personally physically assaulted their family member. He's the first American politician in my lifetime where his voters have such a cult-like devotion to.

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u/Expensive-Ad-4508 Aug 17 '22 edited Aug 17 '22 Silver Helpful Wholesome

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u/FortySixAndYou America Aug 17 '22

Thanks, interesting reading there

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u/Expensive-Ad-4508 Aug 17 '22

I’m still adding links as I find them. Glad to help!

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u/firstnameavailable Aug 17 '22

there was also that guy, michael coh-something. i think he got in a bit of trouble.

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u/YoDarthMeow Aug 17 '22

Oh yeah, Michael Coconspirator. I remember him and his Nr. 1 friend.

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u/FoxyOx Aug 17 '22

The most visible Trump attorney has been Christina Bobb, a former anchor at the right-wing outlet OAN, where she pushed election conspiracy theories that got the network sued by defamation by Dominion Voting Systems. Bobb's federal legal experience is largely limited to a "handful of trademark infringement cases on behalf of CrossFit" while she worked for a law firm in San Diego, according to the Post. Bobb has already undermined Trump's baseless claim that the FBI may have "planted" evidence during the search while no one was looking, revealing that Trump and his family were able to watch the entire raid through CCTV.

Yet another legal eagle on his team

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u/bobo1monkey Aug 17 '22

Hey! Let's not start insulting upstanding content creators.

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u/SnuggleBunni69 Aug 17 '22

All the professional women Trump surrounds himself with are extremely attractive. Is it that he think it makes for better optics, feels women only have value based on their physical appearance, or is he legit just trying to stick his dick into things 24/7? Im going with all 3.

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u/flygirl083 Aug 17 '22

I would also add that he hires women because he thinks they are stupid and will do whatever he says because he’s so much smarter than them. He thinks he can manipulate them more easily and that they won’t know when he’s lying.

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u/mishap1 I voted Aug 17 '22

He hires lawyers for TV and not the court room. He needs them shilling for him on OAN, Fox, and Newsmax. He knows he loses in the courtroom so his best shot is to convince his followers to burn down the courthouse.

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u/Lost-Pineapple9791 Aug 17 '22

And being a nightmare to work with and not listening

Plenty of these people are evil but generally stick to the laws (ie bend don’t break)

Look at his former White House counsel guy that testified in jan 6

He (and others including evil bill Barr) said outright to trump things like no election fraud, can’t steal voting machines, etc etc

No real lawyers (even if evil republicans) want to outright break laws KNOWING it’s going to go to court and have to defend trump and themselves jsut to lose their law license

And of course, not get paid 🤷‍♂️

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u/gordo65 Aug 17 '22

I'm sure there are a lot of top flight lawyers who would be happy to take on a high profile case like this, knowing that they will probably get stiffed. But they won't take Trump as a client, because he's the client from hell.

He won't listen to legal advice. He openly asks lawyers to help him conceal criminal activity. He won't shut up. He conceals things from his own attorneys. He throws temper tantrums. And whenever he has a setback, he blames everyone around him and trashes them in the media.

Usually, a high profile client will boost a lawyer's profile, even if he loses. But everyone who has represented Trump in a high profile case has wound up doing grievous damage to their own careers.

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u/HonkyMahFah Aug 17 '22 Silver Helpful Take My Energy

The Mierdas Touch

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u/AdjNounNumbers Michigan Aug 17 '22

And if he doesn't pay up, she'll just boot his golf cart

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u/Spare_Industry_6056 Aug 17 '22

Having your lawyer sign falsified affidavits about classified nuclear material is like the ultimate nightmare client move. The cash isn't worth it.

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u/FreakyPickles Aug 17 '22

What cash? He's famous for not paying his lawyers.

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u/Long_Before_Sunrise Aug 17 '22

Trump's other attorney in the documents investigation is Alina Habba

"If he's not leading in the polls – I've sat across from him, every time he gets frustrated, I say to him: 'Mr. President, if you would like me to resolve all your litigation, you should announce that you are not running for office, and all of this will stop,'" Trump attorney Alina Habba on August 12, 2022

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u/dieselxindustry Aug 17 '22

Trump has the best lawyers, everyone says so. One day you're in court arguing that the scratch on my Daewoo is my fault, and the next day your wiping cheeto dust off your lips to own the libs.

Trump's other attorney in the documents investigation is Alina Habba, who has a small practice near Trump's Bedminster, N.J., golf club. She previously worked as general counsel at a parking garage company.

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u/Hemp-Emperor Aug 17 '22

He’s gonna pay them in exposure.

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u/oingoboingo331 Aug 17 '22

I would ask for a million dollar retainer up front. And then stop working when the fees went beyond the retainer if he didn't pay.

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u/SwingingDickKnutsack Aug 17 '22 Table Slap

He should just hire people off the Reddit pro-Trump subs, they're all polymath geniuses with very persuasive arguments - why you'll barely find anyone with the gumption to even challenge them!

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u/Itsprobablysarcasm Aug 17 '22 Silver Helpful All-Seeing Upvote Starstruck Lawyer Up

/r/Conservative is filled with top legal and political minds!

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u/TheSavouryRain Aug 17 '22

I just read a comment that literally said Democrats are taxing the poor to pay the rich.

What fucking batshit upside down world do they live?

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u/Itsprobablysarcasm Aug 17 '22

"Remember... it's not a lie if you believe it." – George Costanza

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u/Secret-Plant-1542 Aug 17 '22

The same world where a senator can vote no to providing Vets healthcare, then two hours later go to a rally slamming Democrats for not helping Vets.

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u/SwingingDickKnutsack Aug 17 '22 Wholesome

Unfortunately their dedication to allowing only the most wizened and enlightened minds to grace their forum freezes out untermenschen like me. Probably best really, my ego likely couldn't stand the trauma of having my worldview destroyed with facts and logic.

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u/salondesert I voted Aug 17 '22 Silver Wholesome All-Seeing Upvote

That's the beauty of it. They'll just declare the courtroom "Flaired Users Only" and win by default

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u/ckwing Aug 17 '22

[TheProsecution has been permabanned.]

[TheJudge has been permabanned.]

[TheJury has been permanbanned.]

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u/lionguardant Aug 17 '22

“Counsel, your opening statement?”

[USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST]

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u/WippitGuud Aug 17 '22

You have been banned from Trump's court appearance.

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u/Skud_NZ Aug 17 '22

I hope the lawyer got the money up front

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u/Carbonatite Colorado Aug 17 '22

It's almost like they can't function without some kind of enclosed environment to protect their delicate sensibilities. They need a limited sphere to ensure the integrity of their feelings.

It's almost like they need some kind of...safe space for snowflakes.

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u/[deleted] Aug 17 '22 edited Aug 17 '22 Gold

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/MagnusTheGreat Aug 17 '22

They've been downvoting each other for a week now while claiming it's all thanks to people from outside the sub.

They are fighting each other and claiming they're not true Scotsmen

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u/Knight_Of_Stars Aug 17 '22

Its a conservative issue honestly, they feel persecuted while persecuting. Even r/libertarian is filled no true scotsman bs as well, mostly from the more conservative members imo. Everyone is obssessed over being "A real libertarian", and they don't seem to understand that libertarianism is a massive spectrum of an ideology that Ron Paul didn't invent.

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u/scubascratch Aug 17 '22

Majority of self-described “Libertarians” are just typical bigoted republicans who like to smoke pot.

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u/Schrutes_Yeet_Farm Aug 17 '22

"Libertarians are Republicans who are somewhat embarrassed about it"

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u/berael Aug 17 '22

The "centrists" are the embarrassed republicans; the "libertarians" are the stoned republicans.

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u/Cerberus_Aus Australia Aug 17 '22

Wow just dove in for a look. Every second post is about Cheney.

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u/HoppiTheHappiBunni Aug 17 '22

And every source is some easily discredited, full of bias “news” source

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u/content_enjoy3r Aug 17 '22

Don't forget babylonbee being several of the top posts on any given day.

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u/Monteze Arkansas Aug 17 '22

How many times can one make the gender joke, Biden joke and....what, libs=weak?

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u/bisho Aug 17 '22

I just looked after reading your comment. Sorted by rising, Cheney was in the title of the top 8 posts

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u/simcowking I voted Aug 17 '22

All positive applauding her ability to put the law of the land over party? Right?

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u/Buffmin Aug 17 '22

No they're giddy with having a "win"

They are thin skinned babies as long as they feel like winners they are happy.

While they hide in their safe space

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u/Delamoor Foreign Aug 17 '22

Finally, the republican party won against its greatest enemy; the republican party. So much winning.

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u/Srivo10 Aug 17 '22

If you go through comments on there, basically none of them consider her a republican. I saw her referred to as an undercover democrat and a RINO on so many posts. What’s crazy to me is she has a consistently conservative voting record. Those people consider being against Trump as being liberal. It’s so delusional that I honestly don’t understand why more people haven’t realized they’re in a cult.

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u/junk_yard_cat Aug 17 '22

So you’re saying they were antifa this whole time? /s

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u/Dazedsince1970 Aug 17 '22

I hear the lawyer Alex Jones used is available

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u/SinisterYear Aug 17 '22

If he repeats his mistake with Trump there would be a global corn shortage from all the popcorn required over watching that trial.

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u/ronin1066 Aug 17 '22

OMG, if he released Trump's entire phone records for the past few years!?!?! Holy fuck , there'd be a baby boom among liberals.

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u/Capable-Site-301 Aug 17 '22

Reddit Lawyer: "Your honor, you cannot prosecute my client, Donald John Trump, for having those documents in his possession because they were planted by the F.B.I.!"

Judge: "And I assume you have evidence of this claim?"

RL: "I do. As you can see by this Facebook post made by Mrs. Marge Van Allen, she writes...."

courtroom erupts into laughter

RL: "You see? YOU SEE? This proves Trump right! You've all been brainwashed by the Deep State and refuse to even consider any evidence that goes against the Liberal Narrative! I demand a mistrial and for my client to be set free!"

Judge: "Please have a seat, Reddit Lawyer."

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u/Simmery Aug 17 '22

You think that's crazy, but that is actually the level of evidence that was submitted in the "Kraken" court cases.

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u/dejus Aug 17 '22

Also basically the same as the Alex Jones trial. Maybe trump should hire Reynald.

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u/Aghast_Cornichon Aug 17 '22

It really was. "We have affidavits!"

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u/coolcool23 Aug 17 '22

Reddit lawyer to the judge: "FYI Judge you have been banned from /r/thisconservativecourtroom. ... Please leave." Gestures to the doors

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u/Lost_the_weight Aug 17 '22

Like those people who tried to arrest the cops in Canada last weekend.

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u/CardinalPeeves Aug 17 '22

This is also exactly what I'd expect Rudy Giuliani to say.

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u/Wifflebatman Michigan Aug 17 '22

"President Trump is represented by some of the strongest attorneys in the country, and any suggestion otherwise is only driven by envy."

"You guys are just jealous!!!"

Classic.

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u/hasordealsw1thclams Aug 17 '22

Man. nothing causes me more envy than seeing someone entangled in multiple different legal battles. I’m so jealous!

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u/KingEllis Aug 17 '22

Jeez, here I am with my ZERO legal representation for my NO alleged crimes, like a common moron!

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u/Warhawk137 Connecticut Aug 17 '22

All the smart ones are asking to get paid up front.

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u/Jeffersons_Mammoth New York Aug 17 '22

Works on contingency? No, money down!

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u/mctacoflurry Maryland Aug 17 '22

Phil Hartman is the only celebrity I miss. Damn he was perfect as Troy and Lionel

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u/Western-Syllabub3751 Aug 17 '22

Lionel hutz is one of the greatest characters ever.

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u/PhuckYoPhace Aug 17 '22

I've stood in front of every judge in the state, often as an attorney!

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u/Western-Syllabub3751 Aug 17 '22

I’ve studied at Harvard, Oxford, the Louvre

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u/Randomfactoid42 Virginia Aug 17 '22

All the smart ones aren't going to take Trump as a client regardless if he pays his bills. The guy is an impossible client, he won't listen to anybody, won't stop talking, and can't keep his story straight. No amount of money is worth that.

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u/s-mores Aug 17 '22

Pretty much. A trial lawyer is supposed to be running the show, and Trump is way beyond the point of allowing that.

He would literally tell his counsel something, while tweeting (Truthing?) about the absolute opposite.

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u/sttaffy Aug 17 '22

If I were a 'billionaire', with the DOJ, Georgia and NY up my ass for all of the crimes I obviously did, one of the things I would spend some money on would be lawyers. Lots and lots of expensive, good lawyers, and I'd pay them. I'd even tip. I don't get him being a tightwad with the only people between him and the consequences of his actions.

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u/Loumeer Aug 17 '22

If I were a 'billionaire'

I think Donald Trump also has this sentiment. It's just as much of a hypothetical for him as it is for you.

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u/Nearly_Pointless Aug 17 '22

Trump is ignorant which means he can’t see the trouble with his behaviors. Trump is a narcissist so he doesn’t see other people as separate from him but rather he sees all people as either part of his domain or an enemy with not much between. Lastly, Trump isn’t a billionaire as his “net worth” is all highly leveraged properties.

Pretty much everything good about him is a lie or misrepresentation and everything bad about him is true and understated. He is genuinely evil.

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u/light_fissure Aug 17 '22

Why looking for more layers? What's wrong with Giuliani and his team?

Ooh.. Wait..

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u/Dedpoolpicachew Aug 17 '22

Ha ha ha… Ghouliani is scooping up all the good lawyers… he’s going to need them. However, given the current state of his whiskey addled mind, he’s probably going Pro Se. That’d be fun to watch.

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u/kabukistar Aug 17 '22 Gold

Hitching himself to Trump turned Giuliani from the mayor of 9/11 to the 9/11 if mayors.

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u/sonotadalek Aug 17 '22 edited Aug 17 '22

It's not even that he won't pay the legal fees, or that taking this case would mean taking an obvious and giant loss on your resume. Taking Donald Trump as a client in itself is a liability--not only will he lie under oath, not cooperate, and change his story, he will do that to YOU, his lawyer. He will withhold information, tell you blatant lies, tell you one thing but tell the judge something else, and will listen to your legal expertise and go do precisely whatever the fuck he wants to do. Then, when things inevitably go south, he will blame you in front of his idiot supporters for being a terrible lawyer who was corroborating with the far left all along. Why would any legitimate lawyer want that stain on their career?

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u/Nhak84 Aug 17 '22

You have perfectly described well over 50% of my practice as a public defender. Experienced lawyers can still rep clients like this, get through the case as well as possible, and protect themselves from an ineffective assistance of counsel claim during the process. But with someone like him, it’s a miserable experience, and no one with the experience to handle such a case/client would let him in the door.

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u/Drews232 Aug 17 '22

Don’t forget living under the threat of harassment and violence from thousands of his followers as soon as you don’t perform a miracle and get him cleared of charges.

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u/Nhak84 Aug 17 '22

We get that enough from clients and family. I can’t imagine getting it from all of his supporters.

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u/praefectus_praetorio Aug 17 '22

And after he throws you under the bus his mob of supporters will most likely threaten you to no end. Yea, I’m sure everyone is lining up to have inbred rednecks threaten their livelihood.

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u/altmaltacc Aug 17 '22

I hear alex jones had a great lawyer that trump should definitely check out. You should call him asap actually!

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u/Milligan Aug 17 '22

"It'sa no use. I even offered to pay as high as eighteen dollars, but I no coulda getta somebody to defend me." - Chico Marx in Duck Soup

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u/The-GreyBusch Aug 17 '22

Are there no MAGA donor lawyers who would represent their emperor king pro bono?

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u/Ms_Rarity Aug 17 '22

Probably not after watching what happened to Rudy Giuliani and Lin Wood.

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u/dalitpidated Aug 17 '22 edited Aug 17 '22

"Four Seasons Insurance, how may we help you?"

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u/WontThinkStraight Aug 17 '22

Yeah, Trump doesn't attract criminal lawyers, he attracts criminal lawyers.

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u/Itsprobablysarcasm Aug 17 '22

But not the good ones. The good ones know to get their money in cash, upfront. Trump don't roll that way. He pays with "exposure".

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u/Snoo74401 America Aug 17 '22

"Works on contingency? No! Money down! Oh, this Bar Association logo shouldn't be here, either."

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u/HappyHarryHardOn Aug 17 '22

Regrettably, Saul Goodman is no longer available

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u/akaZilong Aug 17 '22

Saul would prefer Lalo over Donny

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u/LacedSmoke Aug 17 '22

Everyone would prefer Lalo over Donny. If nothing else, he's fairly polite. He's also not covered in hamburger grease and spray tan, which would save you an expensive upholstery cleaning bill.

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u/H_E_Pennypacker Aug 17 '22 edited Aug 17 '22

He was also a successful businessman with plenty of funds to pay those who work with/for him, unlike trump. I don’t think we ever saw him stiff anyone. In fact, I think we saw him happily pay large amounts of cash 1 or 2 times.

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u/SmokePenisEveryday New Jersey Aug 17 '22

I heard Bill Oakley recently switched sides

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u/-Daetrax- Europe Aug 17 '22

Get him a public defender.

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u/MeowSchwitzInThere Aug 17 '22

Lawyer here with a little context on working outside a practice area, if anyone is interested.

Usually, a lawyer will take a case outside their 'normal' practice area for one of three reasons.

  1. They are a general practice attorney in an underserved area and no one else is available (look up the need for more lawyers in small towns if you are interested in the problem). Basically no one else is available to help with a particular legal issue, so a lawyer steps in to help even if they are not familiar with the issue.

  2. Their law firm needs more specialists in some area. It could be a high paying client asking for a niche thing or the firm thinks branching into a new speciality could be beneficial in the long-term. So the firm tasks some individuals (from clerks to senior associates depending on the need/urgency) to become familiar with the area.

  3. The lawyer believes the matter is fairly simple and can be handled with minimal investment. This can range from doing a favor for a friend to representing themselves for a particular matter. Generally, these are the worst set of reasons to 'try something new' because making a simple (and possibly costly) mistake is very easy.

None of the above apply to representing a high profile client in a complex set of legal problems. It is a TERRIBLE IDEA. Super terrible. 1,000,000 pt font, bold, italics, red highlights crazy bad idea for BOTH the lawyer and client.

This is what happens when you are a terrible client and constantly don't pay your lawyers. Or you are a lawyer from Florida (jk luv u my 5th circuit fam).

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u/vahntitrio Minnesota Aug 17 '22

Like having your general practitioner perform your open heart surgery...

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u/ihateusedusernames New York Aug 17 '22 edited Aug 17 '22

The Opening Arguments podcast routinely evaluates the caliber of the legal representation in the cases they discuss. They've had lots of fun stuff to say about Habba already, can't wait to hear them get into these new ones.

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u/ripyourlungsdave Aug 17 '22

How hilarious would it be to see Trump have to use a public defender just because no one wants to touch him with a mile-long pole?

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u/Songandsilence3 Aug 17 '22

Bonus points if the public defender is not white.

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u/Crazytreas Massachusetts Aug 17 '22

I'd have no choice but to pity the public defender for ending up with the literal worst client they could ever possibly think to have.

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u/phxees Arizona Aug 17 '22

Can’t wait until Trump decides to go Pro se.

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u/sihtydaernacuoytihsy Massachusetts Aug 17 '22

"Jared, google the elements of seditious conspiracy for me," is actually too sophisticated an ask.

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u/phxees Arizona Aug 17 '22

He has a “big brain, he’ll just go into court armed with a rally speech. He’ll start out trying to object to everything the prosecuting attorneys say. When he gets scolded by the judge he’ll mock her and call her a deep state plant, before being reminded that he appointed her.

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u/WomenTrucksAndJesus Aug 17 '22

"Hello, my name is John Barron. I'm looking for a hot attorney to help me fight an, uh, insurance dispute with the, uh, a government agency. I saw your billboard. You are a hot lawyer. Are you interested in taking my case?"

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u/heloguy1234 Aug 17 '22

An insurance lawyer who has never tried a federal case, a former OAN anchor and the general council for a parking garage company. These lawyers will either quit or be fired within a couple months. This is his A-team, the best that he could find to represent him. Can’t wait to see the next batch.

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u/Dotard1 Aug 17 '22

My Attorneys Get Arrested.

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u/ckwing Aug 17 '22 edited Aug 17 '22

This is how you know all these Republican political leaders and talkings heads don't actually believe the pro-Trump BS they're spouting every day.

Because if you go by polling, nearly half of Americans support Trump and Fox News is filled with legal "experts" defending his positions.

So if half the country thinks he acted lawfully vs. having committed high treason, you would think roughly half of American attorneys feel similarly, and thus it should be easy to find accomplished attorneys chomping at the bit for this opportunity.

Even WITH Trump's reputation for not paying, lots of experienced attorneys would jump at the chance to defend a former President, especially if they believe in the merits of his case.

And yet, he's apparently radioactive to the legal community.

That should tell us (or the MAGA crowd, at least) something.

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u/LacedSmoke Aug 17 '22

MAGA crowd

Unfortunately, these people may as well be clinically braindead.

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u/[deleted] Aug 17 '22 edited 9d ago

[deleted]

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u/FookThaMaywetters Aug 17 '22

It's because you work in an area where facts matter. In Trump World, facts don't matter, so these lawyers are setting up for their next grift. Right-wing media host? Merch? Youtuber?

Even if you lost every case involving Trump, you can then go on to the far right economy as a hero who tried to save their knock-off Jesus.

You'd be celebrity, better than just some insurance lawyer god-knows-where in Bumfuck, Florida. That is where the confidence is coming from, not winning cases... but winning nutcases.

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u/ChromaticDragon Aug 17 '22

To piggy-back on this, part of the scheme is to lose.

You cannot do much better to bolster and inflame the victim complex rhetoric than to have actually lost! All you need to do is to spin the narrative of how certain it was that you were going to lose because the Deep State is entirely corrupt and everyone was out to get you.

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u/billpalto Aug 17 '22

Trump is just playing 64-d chess. He's intentionally getting sub-par lawyers so he can claim that he had faulty representation at trial.

He's a certified jeanius!

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u/Slippinjimmyforever Aug 17 '22

Going for the mistrial play?

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u/s-mores Aug 17 '22

I can't wait for the shitshow that jury selection will be.

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u/BucksBrew Washington Aug 17 '22

Ah yes, the Alex Jones defense

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u/badleftleg1964 Aug 17 '22

But...he has been fundraising during his entire presidency and the republican party pays legal fees for him too.

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u/lestermagneto America Aug 17 '22

I am really enjoying this.

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u/DirtySingh New York Aug 17 '22

All he had to do was keep his head down. For fuck's sake - he had the money to run an airline into the ground and countless casinos. All he had to do was just be happy with his piece of the pie and he'd be living the good life. Greed was his demise. Let him serve as a lesson to everybody: be grateful for what you have and don't be greedy... life is short and the stress that comes with being greedy isn't worth it.

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u/RikersTrombone Aug 17 '22

No one wants to work for trump anymore!!!